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- Стр. 311/535
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"
And
yet
,
Vittorio
,
in
a
way
there
was
nothing
else
I
could
do
.
Either
I
ruined
her
,
or
I
took
the
ruin
upon
myself
.
At
the
time
there
did
n't
seem
to
be
a
choice
,
because
I
do
love
her
.
It
was
n't
her
fault
that
I
've
never
wanted
the
love
to
extend
to
a
physical
plane
.
Her
fate
became
more
important
than
my
own
,
you
see
.
Until
that
moment
I
had
always
considered
myself
first
,
as
more
important
than
she
,
because
I
was
a
priest
,
and
she
was
a
lesser
being
.
But
I
saw
that
I
was
responsible
for
what
she
is
...
I
should
have
let
her
go
when
she
was
a
child
,
but
I
did
n't
.
I
kept
her
in
my
heart
and
she
knew
it
.
If
I
had
truly
plucked
her
out
she
would
have
known
that
,
too
,
and
she
would
have
become
someone
I
could
n't
influence
.
"
He
smiled
.
"
You
see
that
I
have
much
to
repent
.
I
tried
a
little
creating
of
my
own
.
"
"
It
was
the
Rose
?
"
The
head
went
back
;
Archbishop
Ralph
looked
at
the
elaborate
ceiling
with
its
gilded
moldings
and
baroque
Murano
chandelier
.
"
Could
it
have
been
anyone
else
?
She
's
my
only
attempt
at
creation
.
"
"
And
will
she
be
all
right
,
the
Rose
?
Did
you
do
her
more
harm
by
this
than
in
denying
her
?
"
"
I
do
n't
know
,
Vittorio
.
I
wish
I
did
!
At
the
time
it
just
seemed
the
only
thing
to
do
.
I
'm
not
gifted
with
Promethean
foresight
,
and
emotional
involvement
makes
one
a
poor
judge
.
Besides
,
it
simply
...
happened
!
But
I
think
perhaps
she
needed
most
what
I
gave
her
,
the
recognition
of
her
identity
as
a
woman
.
I
do
n't
mean
that
she
did
n't
know
she
was
a
woman
.
I
mean
I
did
n't
know
.
If
I
had
first
met
her
as
a
woman
it
might
have
been
different
,
but
I
knew
her
as
a
child
for
many
years
.
"
"
You
sound
rather
priggish
,
Ralph
,
and
not
yet
ready
for
forgiveness
.
It
hurts
,
does
it
not
?
That
you
could
have
been
human
enough
to
yield
to
human
weakness
.
Was
it
really
done
in
such
a
spirit
of
noble
self-sacrifice
?
"
Startled
,
he
looked
into
the
liquid
dark
eyes
,
saw
himself
reflected
in
them
as
two
tiny
manikins
of
insignificant
proportion
.
"
No
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
'm
a
man
,
and
as
a
man
I
found
a
pleasure
in
her
I
did
n't
dream
existed
.
I
did
n't
know
a
woman
felt
like
that
,
or
could
be
the
source
of
such
profound
joy
.
I
wanted
never
to
leave
her
,
not
only
because
of
her
body
,
but
because
I
just
loved
to
be
with
her
--
talk
to
her
,
not
talk
to
her
,
eat
the
meals
she
cooked
,
smile
at
her
,
share
her
thoughts
.
I
shall
miss
her
as
long
as
I
live
.
"
There
was
something
in
the
sallow
ascetic
visage
which
unaccountably
reminded
him
of
Meggie
's
face
in
that
moment
of
parting
;
the
sight
of
a
spiritual
burden
being
taken
up
,
the
resoluteness
of
a
character
well
able
to
go
forward
in
spite
of
its
loads
,
its
griefs
,
its
pain
.
What
had
he
known
,
the
red
silk
cardinal
whose
only
human
addiction
seemed
to
be
his
languid
Abyssinian
cat
?
