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- Колин Маккалоу
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Well
,
there
was
Ralph
.
A
wry
,
despairing
laugh
.
Not
a
good
place
to
start
,
but
in
a
sense
Ralph
was
like
God
;
everything
began
and
ended
with
him
.
Since
the
day
he
had
knelt
in
the
sunset
dust
of
the
Gilly
station
yard
to
take
her
between
his
hands
,
there
had
been
Ralph
,
and
though
she
never
saw
him
again
as
long
as
she
lived
,
it
seemed
likely
that
her
last
thought
this
side
of
the
grave
would
be
of
him
.
How
frightening
,
that
one
person
could
mean
so
much
,
so
many
things
.
What
had
she
said
to
Anne
?
That
her
wants
and
needs
were
quite
ordinary
--
a
husband
,
children
,
a
home
of
her
own
.
Someone
to
love
.
It
did
n't
seem
much
to
ask
;
after
all
,
most
women
had
the
lot
.
But
how
many
of
the
women
who
had
them
were
truly
content
?
Meggie
thought
she
would
be
,
because
for
her
they
were
so
hard
to
come
by
.
Accept
it
,
Meggie
Cleary
.
Meggie
O'Neill
.
The
someone
you
want
is
Ralph
de
Bricassart
,
and
you
just
ca
n't
have
him
.
Yet
as
a
man
he
seems
to
have
ruined
you
for
anyone
else
.
All
right
,
then
.
Assume
that
a
man
and
the
someone
to
love
ca
n't
occur
.
It
will
have
to
be
children
to
love
,
and
the
love
you
receive
will
have
to
come
from
those
children
.
Which
in
turn
means
Luke
,
and
Luke
's
children
.
Oh
,
dear
God
,
dear
God
!
No
,
not
dear
God
!
What
's
God
ever
done
for
me
,
except
deprive
me
of
Ralph
?
We
're
not
too
fond
of
each
other
,
God
and
I.
And
do
You
know
something
,
God
?
You
do
n't
frighten
me
the
way
You
used
to
.
How
much
I
feared
You
,
Your
punishment
!
All
my
life
I
've
trodden
the
straight
and
narrow
,
from
fear
of
You
.
And
what
's
it
got
me
?
Not
one
scrap
more
than
if
I
'd
broken
every
rule
in
Your
book
.
You
're
a
fraud
,
God
,
a
demon
of
fear
.
You
treat
us
like
children
,
dangling
punishment
.
But
You
do
n't
frighten
me
anymore
.
Because
it
is
n't
Ralph
I
ought
to
be
hating
,
it
's
You
.
It
's
all
Your
fault
,
not
poor
Ralph
's
.
He
's
just
living
in
fear
of
You
,
the
way
I
always
have
.
That
he
could
love
You
is
something
I
ca
n't
understand
.
I
do
n't
see
what
there
is
about
You
to
love
.
Yet
how
can
I
stop
loving
a
man
who
loves
God
?
No
matter
how
hard
I
try
,
I
ca
n't
seem
to
do
it
.
He
's
the
moon
,
and
I
'm
crying
for
it
.
Well
,
you
've
just
got
to
stop
crying
for
it
,
Meggie
O'Neill
,
that
's
all
there
is
to
it
.
You
're
going
to
have
to
content
yourself
with
Luke
,
and
Luke
's
children
.
By
hook
or
by
crook
you
're
going
to
wean
Luke
from
the
wretched
sugar
,
and
live
with
him
out
where
there
are
n't
even
any
trees
.
You
're
going
to
tell
the
Gilly
bank
manager
that
your
future
income
stays
in
your
own
name
,
and
you
're
going
to
use
it
to
have
the
comforts
and
conveniences
in
your
treeless
home
that
Luke
wo
n't
think
to
provide
for
you
.
You
're
going
to
use
it
to
educate
Luke
's
children
properly
,
and
make
sure
they
never
want
.
And
that
's
all
there
is
to
be
said
about
it
,
Meggie
O'Neill
.
I
'm
Meggie
O'Neill
,
not
Meggie
de
Bricassart
.
It
even
sounds
silly
,
Meggie
de
Bricassart
.
I
'd
have
to
be
Meghann
de
Bricassart
,
and
I
've
always
hated
Meghann
.
Oh
,
will
I
ever
stop
regretting
that
they
're
not
Ralph
's
children
?
That
's
the
question
,
is
n't
it
?
Say
it
to
yourself
,
over
and
over
again
:
Your
life
is
your
own
,
Meggie
O'Neill
,
and
you
're
not
going
to
waste
it
dreaming
of
a
man
and
children
you
can
never
have
.
There
!
That
's
telling
yourself
!
No
use
thinking
of
what
's
past
,
what
must
be
buried
.
The
future
's
the
thing
,
and
the
future
belongs
to
Luke
,
to
Luke
's
children
.
It
does
n't
belong
to
Ralph
de
Bricassart
.
He
is
the
past
.
Meggie
rolled
over
in
the
sand
and
wept
as
she
had
n't
wept
since
she
was
three
years
old
:
noisy
wails
,
with
only
the
crabs
and
the
birds
to
hear
her
desolation
.
