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- Колин Маккалоу
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- Стр. 273/535
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The
rain
was
beginning
to
inch
its
way
across
the
dimming
cane
blotting
out
everything
behind
its
edge
,
like
a
grey
cleaver
.
"
You
're
right
,
I
'm
not
well
,
"
Meggie
said
.
"
I
have
n't
been
well
since
Justine
was
conceived
.
I
've
tried
to
pull
myself
up
,
but
I
suppose
one
reaches
a
point
where
there
is
n't
the
energy
to
do
it
.
Oh
,
Anne
,
I
'm
so
tired
and
discouraged
!
I
'm
not
even
a
good
mother
to
Justine
,
and
I
owe
her
that
.
I
'm
the
one
caused
her
to
be
;
she
did
n't
ask
for
it
.
But
mostly
I
'm
discouraged
because
Luke
wo
n't
even
give
me
a
chance
to
make
him
happy
.
He
wo
n't
live
with
me
or
let
me
make
a
home
for
him
;
he
does
n't
want
our
children
.
I
do
n't
love
him
--
I
never
did
love
him
the
way
a
woman
ought
to
love
the
man
she
marries
,
and
maybe
he
sensed
it
from
the
word
go
.
Maybe
if
I
had
loved
him
,
he
would
have
acted
differently
.
So
how
can
I
blame
him
?
I
've
only
myself
to
blame
,
I
think
.
"
"
It
's
the
Archbishop
you
love
,
is
n't
it
?
"
"
Oh
,
ever
since
I
was
a
little
girl
!
I
was
hard
on
him
when
he
came
.
Poor
Ralph
!
I
had
no
right
to
say
what
I
did
to
him
,
because
he
never
encouraged
me
,
you
know
.
I
hope
he
's
had
time
to
understand
that
I
was
in
pain
,
worn
out
,
and
terribly
unhappy
.
All
I
could
think
was
it
ought
by
rights
to
be
his
child
and
it
never
would
be
,
never
could
be
.
It
is
n't
fair
!
Protestant
clergy
can
marry
,
why
ca
n't
Catholic
?
And
do
n't
try
to
tell
me
ministers
do
n't
care
for
their
flocks
the
way
priests
do
,
because
I
wo
n't
believe
you
.
I
've
met
heartless
priests
and
wonderful
ministers
.
But
because
of
the
celibacy
of
priests
I
've
had
to
go
away
from
Ralph
,
make
my
home
and
my
life
with
someone
else
,
have
someone
else
's
baby
.
And
do
you
know
something
,
Anne
?
That
's
as
disgusting
a
sin
as
Ralph
breaking
his
vows
,
or
more
so
.
I
resent
the
Church
's
implication
that
my
loving
Ralph
or
his
loving
me
is
wrong
!
"
"
Go
away
for
a
while
,
Meggie
.
Rest
and
eat
and
sleep
and
stop
fretting
.
Then
maybe
when
you
come
back
you
can
somehow
persuade
Luke
to
buy
that
station
instead
of
talking
about
it
.
I
know
you
do
n't
love
him
,
but
I
think
if
he
gave
you
half
a
chance
you
might
be
happy
with
him
.
"
The
grey
eyes
were
the
same
color
as
the
rain
falling
in
sheets
all
around
the
house
;
their
voices
had
risen
to
shouting
pitch
to
be
audible
above
the
incredible
din
on
the
iron
roof
.
"
But
that
's
just
it
,
Anne
!
When
Luke
and
I
went
up
to
Atherton
I
realized
at
last
that
he
'll
never
leave
the
sugar
while
he
's
got
the
strength
to
cut
it
.
He
loves
the
life
,
he
really
does
.
He
loves
being
with
men
as
strong
and
independent
as
he
is
himself
;
he
loves
roaming
from
one
place
to
the
other
.
He
's
always
been
a
wanderer
,
now
I
come
to
think
of
it
.
As
for
needing
a
woman
for
pleasure
if
nothing
else
,
he
's
too
exhausted
by
the
cane
.
And
how
can
I
put
it
?
Luke
is
the
kind
of
man
who
quite
genuinely
does
n't
care
if
he
eats
his
food
off
a
packing
crate
and
sleeps
on
the
floor
.
Do
n't
you
see
?
One
ca
n't
appeal
to
him
as
to
one
who
likes
nice
things
,
because
he
does
n't
.
Sometimes
I
think
he
despises
nice
things
,
pretty
things
.
They
're
soft
,
they
might
make
him
soft
.
I
have
absolutely
no
enticements
powerful
enough
to
sway
him
from
his
present
way
of
life
.
"
She
glanced
up
impatiently
at
the
veranda
roof
,
as
if
tired
of
shouting
.
"
I
do
n't
know
if
I
'm
strong
enough
to
take
the
loneliness
of
having
no
home
for
the
next
ten
or
fifteen
years
,
Anne
,
or
however
long
it
's
going
to
take
Luke
to
wear
himself
out
.
It
's
lovely
here
with
you
;
I
do
n't
want
you
to
think
I
'm
ungrateful
.
