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"
It
'll
be
better
for
you
the
next
time
,
"
he
managed
to
say
.
"
The
first
time
always
hurts
the
woman
.
"
Then
why
did
n't
you
have
the
decency
to
tell
me
that
beforehand
?
she
wanted
to
snarl
,
but
she
had
n't
the
energy
to
utter
the
words
,
she
was
too
busy
wanting
to
die
.
Not
only
because
of
the
pain
,
but
also
from
the
discovery
that
she
had
possessed
no
identity
for
him
,
only
been
an
instrument
.
The
second
time
hurt
just
as
much
,
and
the
third
;
exasperated
,
expecting
her
discomfort
(
for
so
he
deemed
it
)
to
disappear
magically
after
the
first
time
and
thus
not
understanding
why
she
continued
to
fight
and
cry
out
,
Luke
grew
angry
,
turned
his
back
on
her
and
went
to
sleep
.
The
tears
slipped
sideways
from
Meggie
's
eyes
into
her
hair
;
she
lay
on
her
back
wishing
for
death
,
or
else
for
her
old
life
on
Drogheda
.
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Was
that
what
Father
Ralph
had
meant
years
ago
,
when
he
had
told
her
of
the
hidden
passageway
to
do
with
having
children
?
A
nice
way
to
find
out
what
he
meant
.
No
wonder
he
had
preferred
not
to
explain
it
more
clearly
himself
.
Yet
Luke
had
liked
the
activity
well
enough
to
do
it
three
times
in
quick
succession
.
Obviously
it
did
n't
hurt
him
.
And
for
that
she
found
herself
hating
him
,
hating
it
.
Exhausted
,
so
sore
moving
was
agony
,
Meggie
inched
herself
over
onto
her
side
with
her
back
to
Luke
,
and
wept
into
the
pillow
.
Sleep
eluded
her
,
though
Luke
slept
so
soundly
her
small
timid
movements
never
caused
so
much
as
a
change
in
the
pattern
of
his
breathing
.
He
was
an
economical
sleeper
and
a
quiet
one
,
he
neither
snored
nor
flopped
about
,
and
she
thought
while
waiting
for
the
late
dawn
that
if
it
had
just
been
a
matter
of
lying
down
together
,
she
might
have
found
him
nice
to
be
with
.
And
the
dawn
came
as
quickly
and
joylessly
as
darkness
had
;
it
seemed
strange
not
to
hear
roosters
crowing
,
the
other
sounds
of
a
rousing
Drogheda
with
its
sheep
and
horses
and
pigs
and
dogs
.
Luke
woke
,
and
rolled
over
,
she
felt
him
kiss
her
on
the
shoulder
and
was
so
tired
,
so
homesick
that
she
forgot
modesty
,
did
n't
care
about
covering
herself
.
"
Come
on
,
Meghann
,
let
's
have
a
look
at
you
,
"
he
commanded
,
his
hand
on
her
hip
.
"
Turn
over
,
like
a
good
little
girl
.
"
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Nothing
mattered
this
morning
;
Meggie
turned
over
,
wincing
,
and
lay
looking
up
at
him
dully
.
"
I
do
n't
like
Meghann
,
"
she
said
,
the
only
form
of
protest
she
could
manage
.
"
I
do
wish
you
'd
call
me
Meggie
.
"
"
I
do
n't
like
Meggie
.
But
if
you
really
dislike
Meghann
so
much
,
I
'll
call
you
Meg
.
"
His
gaze
roved
her
body
dreamily
.
"
What
a
nice
shape
you
've
got
.
"
He
touched
one
breast
,
pink
nipple
flat
and
unaroused
.
"
Especially
these
.
"
Bunching
the
pillows
into
a
heap
,
he
lay
back
on
them
and
smiled
"
Come
on
,
Meg
,
kiss
me
.
It
's
your
turn
to
make
love
to
me
,
and
maybe
you
'll
like
that
better
,
eh
?
"