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But
I
did
n't
want
to
be
inside
there
with
Daddy
and
the
boys
,
and
Mum
is
still
down
at
our
house
with
the
babies
.
I
suppose
I
ought
to
be
praying
with
Mrs.
Smith
and
Minnie
and
Cat
,
but
I
do
n't
feel
like
praying
for
her
.
That
's
a
sin
,
is
n't
it
?
"
He
was
in
no
mood
to
pander
to
the
memory
of
Mary
Carson
.
"
I
do
n't
think
it
's
a
sin
,
Meggie
,
whereas
hypocrisy
is
.
I
do
n't
feel
like
praying
for
her
,
either
.
She
was
n't
...
a
very
good
person
.
"
His
smile
flashed
.
"
So
if
you
've
sinned
in
saying
it
,
so
have
I
,
and
more
seriously
at
that
.
I
'm
supposed
to
love
everyone
,
a
burden
which
is
n't
laid
upon
you
.
"
"
Are
you
all
right
,
Father
?
"
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"
Yes
,
I
'm
all
right
.
"
He
looked
up
at
the
house
,
and
sighed
.
"
I
do
n't
want
to
be
in
there
,
that
's
all
.
I
do
n't
want
to
be
where
she
is
until
it
's
light
and
the
demons
of
the
darkness
are
driven
away
.
If
I
saddle
the
horses
,
will
you
ride
with
me
until
dawn
?
"
Her
hand
touched
his
black
sleeve
,
fell
.
"
I
do
n't
want
to
go
inside
,
either
.
"
"
Wait
a
minute
while
I
put
my
soutane
in
the
car
.
"
"
I
'll
go
on
to
the
stables
.
"
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For
the
first
time
she
was
trying
to
meet
him
on
his
ground
,
adult
ground
;
he
could
sense
the
difference
in
her
as
surely
as
he
could
smell
the
roses
in
Mary
Carson
's
beautiful
gardens
.
Roses
.
Ashes
of
roses
.
Roses
,
roses
,
everywhere
.
Petals
in
the
grass
.
Roses
of
summer
,
red
and
white
and
yellow
.
Perfume
of
roses
,
heavy
and
sweet
in
the
night
.
Pink
roses
,
bleached
by
the
moon
to
ashes
.
Ashes
of
roses
,
ashes
of
roses
.
My
Meggie
,
I
have
forsaken
you
.
But
ca
n't
you
see
,
you
've
become
a
threat
?
Therefore
have
I
crushed
you
beneath
the
heel
of
my
ambition
;
you
have
no
more
substance
to
me
than
a
bruised
rose
in
the
grass
.
The
smell
of
roses
.
The
smell
of
Mary
Carson
.
Roses
and
ashes
,
ashes
of
roses
.
"
Ashes
of
roses
,
"
he
said
,
mounting
.
"
Let
's
get
as
far
from
the
smell
of
roses
as
the
moon
.
Tomorrow
the
house
will
be
full
of
them
.
"