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- Колин Маккалоу
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- Стр. 111/535
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Her
hands
gripped
one
another
.
"
Father
,
I
'm
dying
!
I
've
got
cancer
!
"
First
came
a
wild
desire
to
laugh
,
a
great
surge
of
uproarious
anticlimax
;
then
he
looked
at
the
thin
blue
skin
,
the
wasting
of
her
little
arms
,
and
there
came
an
awful
longing
to
weep
and
cry
,
scream
of
its
unfairness
to
the
roof
of
heaven
.
No
,
Meggie
would
n't
imagine
this
out
of
nothing
;
there
had
to
be
a
valid
reason
.
"
How
do
you
know
,
dear
heart
?
"
It
took
her
a
long
time
to
say
it
,
and
when
she
did
he
had
to
bend
his
head
right
down
to
her
lips
in
an
unconscious
parody
of
the
confessional
pose
,
hand
shielding
his
face
from
her
eyes
,
finely
modeled
ear
presented
for
the
sullying
.
"
It
's
six
months
,
Father
,
since
it
started
.
I
get
the
most
awful
pains
in
my
tummy
,
but
not
like
a
bilious
attack
,
and
--
oh
,
Father
!
--
a
lot
of
blood
runs
out
of
my
bottom
!
"
His
head
reared
back
,
something
which
had
never
happened
inside
the
confessional
;
he
stared
down
at
her
shamed
bent
head
with
so
many
emotions
assaulting
him
that
he
could
not
marshal
his
wits
.
An
absurd
,
delicious
relief
;
an
anger
at
Fee
so
great
he
wanted
to
kill
her
;
awed
admiration
for
such
a
little
thing
as
her
,
to
bear
so
much
so
well
;
and
a
ghastly
,
all-pervasive
embarrassment
.
He
was
as
much
a
prisoner
of
the
times
as
she
was
.
The
cheap
girls
in
every
town
he
had
known
from
Dublin
to
Gillanbone
would
deliberately
come
into
the
confessional
to
whisper
their
fantasies
to
him
as
actual
happenings
,
concerned
with
the
only
facet
of
him
which
interested
them
,
his
manhood
,
and
not
willing
to
admit
it
lay
beyond
their
power
to
arouse
it
.
They
muttered
of
men
violating
every
orifice
,
of
illicit
games
with
other
girls
,
of
lust
and
adultery
,
one
or
two
of
superior
imagination
even
going
so
far
as
to
detail
sexual
relations
with
a
priest
.
And
he
would
listen
totally
unmoved
save
for
a
sick
contempt
,
for
he
had
been
through
the
rigors
of
the
seminary
and
that
particular
lesson
was
an
easy
one
for
a
man
of
his
type
.
But
the
girls
,
never
,
never
mentioned
that
secret
activity
which
set
them
apart
,
demeaned
them
.
Try
as
he
would
,
he
could
not
prevent
the
scorching
tide
from
diffusing
up
under
his
skin
;
Father
Ralph
de
Bricassart
sat
with
his
face
turned
away
behind
his
hand
and
writhed
through
the
humiliation
of
his
first
blush
.
But
this
was
n't
helping
his
Meggie
.
When
he
was
sure
the
color
had
subsided
he
got
to
his
feet
,
picked
her
up
and
sat
her
on
a
flat-topped
marble
pedestal
,
where
her
face
and
his
were
level
.
