Голод/Hunger (Кнут Гамсун). Страница 78 из 143

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I

turned

round

without

any

astonishment

,

without

a

trace

of

fear

;

I

only

collected

the

money

into

my

hand

,

and

prepared

to

give

it

back

.

"

Beg

pardon

,

you

've

forgotten

your

candle

,

"

says

the

boy

.

"

Ah

,

thanks

,

"

I

answered

quietly

.

"

Thanks

,

thanks

"

;

and

I

strolled

on

,

down

the

street

,

bearing

it

in

my

hand

.

Отключить рекламу

My

first

sensible

thought

referred

to

the

money

.

I

went

over

to

a

lamp

-

post

,

counted

it

,

weighed

it

in

my

hand

,

and

smiled

.

So

,

in

spite

of

all

,

I

was

helped

--

extraordinarily

,

grandly

,

incredibly

helped

--

helped

for

a

long

,

long

time

;

and

I

thrust

my

hand

with

the

money

into

my

pocket

,

and

walked

on

.

Outside

an

eating-house

in

Grand

Street

I

stopped

,

and

turned

over

in

my

mind

,

calmly

and

quietly

,

if

I

should

venture

so

soon

to

take

a

little

refreshment

.

I

could

hear

the

rattle

of

knives

and

plates

inside

,

and

the

sound

of

meat

being

pounded

.

The

temptation

was

too

strong

for

me

--

I

entered

.

"

A

helping

of

beef

,

"

I

say

.

"

One

beef

!

"

calls

the

waitress

down

through

the

door

to

the

lift

.

Отключить рекламу

I

sat

down

by

myself

at

a

little

table

next

to

the

door

,

and

prepared

to

wait

.

It

was

somewhat

dark

where

I

was

sitting

,

and

I

felt

tolerably

well

concealed

,

and

set

myself

to

have

a

serious

think

.

Every

now

and

then

the

waitress

glanced

over

at

me

inquiringly

.

My

first

downright

dishonesty

was

accomplished

--

my

first

theft

.

Compared

to

this

,

all

my

earlier

escapades

were

as

nothing

--

my

first

great

fall

...

.

Well

and

good

!

There

was

no

help

for

it

.

For

that

matter

,

it

was

open

to

me

to

settle

it

with

the

shopkeeper

later

on

,

on

a

more

opportune

occasion

.

It

need

not

go

any

farther

with

me

.

Besides

that

,

I

had

not

taken

upon

myself

to

live

more

honourably

than

all

the

other

folk

;

there

was

no

contract

that

...

.

"

Do

you

think

that

beef

will

soon

be

here

?

"

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