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She
turns
her
face
towards
me
and
follows
me
with
her
eyes
when
I
pass
her
by
--
I
remark
that
she
always
has
the
same
dress
on
,
always
the
same
thick
veil
that
conceals
her
face
and
falls
over
her
breast
,
and
that
she
carries
in
her
hand
a
small
umbrella
with
an
ivory
ring
in
the
handle
.
This
was
already
the
third
evening
I
had
seen
her
there
,
always
in
the
same
place
.
As
soon
as
I
have
passed
her
by
she
turns
slowly
and
goes
down
the
street
away
from
me
.
My
nervous
brain
vibrated
with
curiosity
,
and
I
became
at
once
possessed
by
the
unreasonable
feeling
that
I
was
the
object
of
her
visit
.
At
last
I
was
almost
on
the
point
of
addressing
her
,
of
asking
her
if
she
was
looking
for
any
one
,
if
she
needed
my
assistance
in
any
way
,
or
if
I
might
accompany
her
home
.
Badly
dressed
,
as
I
unfortunately
was
,
I
might
protect
her
through
the
dark
streets
;
but
I
had
an
undefined
fear
that
it
perhaps
might
cost
me
something
;
a
glass
of
wine
,
or
a
drive
,
and
I
had
no
money
left
at
all
.
My
distressingly
empty
pockets
acted
in
a
far
too
depressing
way
upon
me
,
and
I
had
not
even
the
courage
to
scrutinize
her
sharply
as
I
passed
her
by
.
Hunger
had
once
more
taken
up
its
abode
in
my
breast
,
and
I
had
not
tasted
food
since
yesterday
evening
.
This
,
'
tis
true
,
was
not
a
long
period
;
I
had
often
been
able
to
hold
out
for
a
couple
of
days
at
a
time
,
but
latterly
I
had
commenced
to
fall
off
seriously
;
I
could
not
go
hungry
one
quarter
as
well
as
I
used
to
do
.
A
single
day
made
me
feel
dazed
,
and
I
suffered
from
perpetual
retching
the
moment
I
tasted
water
.
Added
to
this
was
the
fact
that
I
lay
and
shivered
all
night
,
lay
fully
dressed
as
I
stood
and
walked
in
the
daytime
,
lay
blue
with
cold
,
lay
and
froze
every
night
with
fits
of
icy
shivering
,
and
grew
stiff
during
my
sleep
.
The
old
blanket
could
not
keep
out
the
draughts
,
and
I
woke
in
the
mornings
with
my
nose
stopped
by
the
sharp
outside
frosty
air
which
forced
its
way
into
the
dilapidated
room
.
I
go
down
the
street
and
think
over
what
I
am
to
do
to
keep
myself
alive
until
I
get
my
next
article
finished
.
If
I
only
had
a
candle
I
would
try
to
fag
on
through
the
night
;
it
would
only
take
a
couple
of
hours
if
I
once
warmed
to
my
work
,
and
then
tomorrow
I
could
call
on
the
"
commandor
.
"
I
go
without
further
ado
into
the
Opland
Cafe
and
look
for
my
young
acquaintance
in
the
bank
,
in
order
to
procure
a
penny
for
a
candle
.
I
passed
unhindered
through
all
the
rooms
;
I
passed
a
dozen
tables
at
which
men
sat
chatting
,
eating
,
and
drinking
;
I
passed
into
the
back
of
the
cafe
,
ay
,
even
into
the
red
alcove
,
without
succeeding
in
finding
my
man
.
Crestfallen
and
annoyed
I
dragged
myself
out
again
into
the
street
and
took
the
direction
to
the
Palace
.
Was
n't
it
now
the
very
hottest
eternal
devil
existing
to
think
that
my
hardships
never
would
come
to
an
end
!
Taking
long
,
furious
strides
,
with
the
collar
of
my
coat
hunched
savagely
up
round
my
ears
,
and
my
hands
thrust
in
my
breeches
pockets
,
I
strode
along
,
cursing
my
unlucky
stars
the
whole
way
.
Not
one
real
untroubled
hour
in
seven
or
eight
months
,
not
the
common
food
necessary
to
hold
body
and
soul
together
for
the
space
of
one
short
week
,
before
want
stared
me
in
the
face
again
.
Here
I
had
,
into
the
bargain
,
gone
and
kept
straight
and
honourable
all
through
my
misery
--
Ha
!
ha
!
straight
and
honourable
to
the
heart
's
core
.
God
preserve
me
,
what
a
fool
I
had
been
!
And
I
commenced
to
tell
myself
how
I
had
even
gone
about
conscience-stricken
because
I
had
once
brought
Hans
Pauli
's
blanket
to
the
pawn-broker
's
.
I
laughed
sarcastically
at
my
delicate
rectitude
,
spat
contemptuously
in
the
street
,
and
could
not
find
words
half
strong
enough
to
mock
myself
for
my
stupidity
.
Let
it
only
happen
now
!
Were
I
to
find
at
this
moment
a
schoolgirl
's
savings
or
a
poor
widow
's
only
penny
,
I
would
snatch
it
up
and
pocket
it
;
steal
it
deliberately
,
and
sleep
the
whole
night
through
like
a
top
.
I
had
not
suffered
so
unspeakably
much
for
nothing
--
my
patience
was
gone
--
I
was
prepared
to
do
anything
.
I
walked
round
the
palace
three
,
perhaps
four
,
times
,
then
came
to
the
conclusion
that
I
would
go
home
,
took
yet
one
little
turn
in
the
park
and
went
back
down
Carl
Johann
.
It
was
now
about
eleven
.
The
streets
were
fairly
dark
,
and
the
people
roamed
about
in
all
directions
,
quiet
pairs
and
noisy
groups
mixed
with
one
another
.
The
great
hour
had
commenced
,
the
pairing
time
when
the
mystic
traffic
is
in
full
swing
--
and
the
hour
of
merry
adventures
sets
in
.
Rustling
petticoats
,
one
or
two
still
short
,
sensual
laughter
,
heaving
bosoms
,
passionate
,
panting
breaths
,
and
far
down
near
the
Grand
Hotel
,
a
voice
calling
"
Emma
!
"
The
whole
street
was
a
swamp
,
from
which
hot
vapours
exuded
.
I
feel
involuntarily
in
my
pockets
for
a
few
shillings
.
The
passion
that
thrills
through
the
movements
of
every
one
of
the
passers-by
,
the
dim
light
of
the
gas
lamps
,
the
quiet
pregnant
night
,
all
commence
to
affect
me
--
this
air
,
that
is
laden
with
whispers
,
embraces
,
trembling
admissions
,
concessions
,
half-uttered
words
and
suppressed
cries
.
A
number
of
cats
are
declaring
their
love
with
loud
yells
in
Blomquist
's
doorway
.
And
I
did
not
possess
even
a
florin
!
It
was
a
misery
,
a
wretchedness
without
parallel
to
be
so
impoverished
.
