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"
Good-evening
!
"
said
I.
Fury
welled
up
in
me
,
blazing
with
brutal
strength
.
I
fetched
my
parcel
from
the
entry
,
set
my
teeth
together
,
jostled
against
the
peaceful
folk
on
the
footpath
,
and
never
once
asked
their
pardon
.
As
one
man
stopped
and
set
me
to
rights
rather
sharply
for
my
behaviour
,
I
turned
round
and
screamed
a
single
meaningless
word
in
his
ear
,
clenched
my
fist
right
under
his
nose
,
and
stumbled
on
,
hardened
by
a
blind
rage
that
I
could
not
control
.
He
called
a
policeman
,
and
I
desired
nothing
better
than
to
have
one
between
my
hands
just
for
one
moment
.
I
slackened
my
pace
intentionally
in
order
to
give
him
an
opportunity
of
overtaking
me
;
but
he
did
not
come
.
Was
there
now
any
reason
whatever
that
absolutely
every
one
of
one
's
most
earnest
and
most
persevering
efforts
should
fail
?
Why
,
too
,
had
I
written
1848
?
In
what
way
did
that
infernal
date
concern
me
?
Here
I
was
going
about
starving
,
so
that
my
entrails
wriggle
together
in
me
like
worms
,
and
it
was
,
as
far
as
I
knew
,
not
decreed
in
the
book
of
fate
that
anything
in
the
shape
of
food
would
turn
up
later
on
in
the
day
.
I
was
becoming
mentally
and
physically
more
and
more
prostrate
;
I
was
letting
myself
down
each
day
to
less
and
less
honest
actions
,
so
that
I
lied
on
each
day
without
blushing
,
cheated
poor
people
out
of
their
rent
,
struggled
with
the
meanest
thoughts
of
making
away
with
other
men
's
blankets
--
all
without
remorse
or
prick
of
conscience
.
Foul
places
began
to
gather
in
my
inner
being
,
black
spores
which
spread
more
and
more
.
And
up
in
Heaven
God
Almighty
sat
and
kept
a
watchful
eye
on
me
,
and
took
heed
that
my
destruction
proceeded
in
accordance
with
all
the
rules
of
art
,
uniformly
and
gradually
,
without
a
break
in
the
measure
.
But
in
the
abysses
of
hell
the
angriest
devils
bristled
with
range
because
it
lasted
such
a
long
time
until
I
committed
a
mortal
sin
,
an
unpardonable
offence
for
which
God
in
His
justice
must
cast
me
--
down
...
.
I
quickened
my
pace
,
hurried
faster
and
faster
,
turned
suddenly
to
the
left
and
found
myself
,
excited
and
angry
,
in
a
light
ornate
doorway
.
I
did
not
pause
,
not
for
one
second
,
but
the
whole
peculiar
ornamentation
of
the
entrance
struck
on
my
perception
in
a
flash
;
every
detail
of
the
decoration
and
the
tiling
of
the
floor
stood
clear
on
my
mental
vision
as
I
sprang
up
the
stairs
.
I
rang
violently
on
the
second
floor
.
Why
should
I
stop
exactly
on
the
second
floor
?
And
why
just
seize
hold
of
this
bell
which
was
some
little
way
from
the
stairs
?
