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I
pulled
on
my
shoes
,
packed
up
the
blanket
again
,
and
set
out
for
town
.
There
was
no
sun
to
be
seen
today
either
;
I
shivered
like
a
dog
,
my
feet
were
benumbed
,
and
water
commenced
to
run
from
my
eyes
,
as
if
they
could
not
bear
the
daylight
.
It
was
three
o'clock
.
Hunger
began
to
assail
me
downright
in
earnest
.
I
was
faint
,
and
now
and
again
I
had
to
retch
furtively
.
I
swung
round
by
the
Dampkökken
,
2
read
the
bill
of
fare
,
and
shrugged
my
shoulders
in
a
way
to
attract
attention
,
as
if
corned
beef
or
salt
port
was
not
meet
food
for
me
.
After
that
I
went
towards
the
railway
station
.
A
singular
sense
of
confusion
suddenly
darted
through
my
head
.
I
stumbled
on
,
determined
not
to
heed
it
;
but
I
grew
worse
and
worse
,
and
was
forced
at
last
to
sit
down
on
a
step
.
My
whole
being
underwent
a
change
,
as
if
something
had
slid
aside
in
my
inner
self
,
or
as
if
a
curtain
or
tissue
of
my
brain
was
rent
in
two
.
I
was
not
unconscious
;
I
felt
that
my
ear
was
gathering
a
little
,
and
,
as
an
acquaintance
passed
by
,
I
recognized
him
at
once
and
got
up
and
bowed
.
What
sore
of
fresh
,
painful
perception
was
this
that
was
being
added
to
the
rest
?
Was
it
a
consequence
of
sleeping
in
the
sodden
fields
,
or
did
it
arise
from
my
not
having
had
any
breakfast
yet
?
Looking
the
whole
thing
squarely
in
the
face
,
there
was
no
meaning
in
living
on
in
this
manner
,
by
Christ
's
holy
pains
,
there
was
n't
.
I
failed
to
see
either
how
I
had
made
myself
deserving
of
this
special
persecution
;
and
it
suddenly
entered
my
head
that
I
might
just
as
well
turn
rogue
at
once
and
go
to
my
"
Uncle
's
"
with
the
blanket
.
I
could
pawn
it
for
a
shilling
,
and
get
three
full
meals
,
and
so
keep
myself
going
until
I
thought
of
something
else
.
'
Tis
true
I
would
have
to
swindle
Hans
Pauli
.
I
was
already
on
my
way
to
the
pawn-shop
,
but
stopped
outside
the
door
,
shook
my
head
irresolutely
,
then
turned
back
.
The
farther
away
I
got
the
more
gladsome
,
ay
,
delighted
I
became
,
that
I
had
conquered
this
strong
temptation
.
The
consciousness
that
I
was
yet
pure
and
honourable
rose
to
my
head
,
filled
me
with
a
splendid
sense
of
having
principle
,
character
,
of
being
a
shining
white
beacon
in
a
muddy
,
human
sea
amidst
floating
wreck
.
Pawn
another
man
's
property
for
the
sake
of
a
meal
,
eat
and
drink
one
's
self
to
perdition
,
brand
one
's
soul
with
the
first
little
scar
,
set
the
first
black
mark
against
one
's
honour
,
call
one
's
self
a
blackguard
to
one
's
own
face
,
and
needs
must
cast
one
's
eyes
down
before
one
's
self
?
Never
!
never
!
It
could
never
have
been
my
serious
intention
--
it
had
really
never
seriously
taken
hold
of
me
;
in
fact
,
I
could
not
be
answerable
for
every
loose
,
fleeting
,
desultory
thought
,
particularly
with
such
a
headache
as
I
had
,
and
nearly
killed
carrying
a
blanket
,
too
,
that
belonged
to
another
fellow
.
There
would
surely
be
some
way
or
another
of
getting
help
when
the
right
time
came
!
Now
,
there
was
the
grocer
in
Groenlandsleret
.
Had
I
importuned
him
every
hour
in
the
day
since
I
sent
in
my
application
?
Had
I
rung
the
bell
early
and
late
,
and
been
turned
away
?
Why
,
I
had
not
even
applied
personally
to
him
or
sought
an
answer
!
It
did
not
follow
,
surely
,
that
it
must
needs
be
an
absolutely
vain
attempt
.
Maybe
I
had
luck
with
me
this
time
.
