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I
no
longer
knew
myself
.
I
uttered
some
nonsense
,
that
she
laughed
at
,
whispered
pet
names
into
her
mouth
,
caressed
her
cheek
,
kissed
her
many
times
...
.
She
winds
her
arms
about
my
neck
,
quite
slowly
,
tenderly
,
the
breath
of
her
pink
quivering
nostrils
fans
me
right
in
the
face
;
she
strokes
down
my
shoulders
with
her
left
hand
,
and
says
,
"
What
a
lot
of
loose
hair
there
is
.
"
"
Yes
,
"
I
reply
.
"
What
can
be
the
reason
that
your
hair
falls
out
so
?
"
"
Do
n't
know
.
"
"
Ah
,
of
course
,
because
you
drink
too
much
,
and
perhaps
...
fie
,
I
wo
n't
say
it
.
You
ought
to
be
ashamed
.
No
,
I
would
n't
have
believed
that
of
you
!
To
think
that
you
,
who
are
so
young
,
already
should
lose
your
hair
!
Now
,
do
please
just
tell
me
what
sort
of
way
you
really
spend
your
life
--
I
am
certain
it
is
dreadful
!
But
only
the
truth
,
do
you
hear
;
no
evasions
.
Anyway
,
I
shall
see
by
you
if
you
hide
anything
--
there
,
tell
now
!
"
"
Yes
;
but
let
me
kiss
you
first
,
then
.
"
"
Are
you
mad
?
...
Humph
,
...
I
want
to
hear
what
kind
of
a
man
you
are
...
.
Ah
,
I
am
sure
it
is
dreadful
.
"
It
hurt
me
that
she
should
believe
the
worst
of
me
;
I
was
afraid
of
thrusting
her
away
entirely
,
and
I
could
not
endure
the
misgivings
she
had
as
to
my
way
of
life
.
I
would
clear
myself
in
her
eyes
,
make
myself
worthy
of
her
,
show
her
that
she
was
sitting
at
the
side
of
a
person
almost
angelically
disposed
.
Why
,
bless
me
,
I
could
count
my
falls
up
to
date
on
my
fingers
.
I
related
--
related
all
--
and
I
only
related
truth
.
I
made
out
nothing
any
worse
than
it
was
;
it
was
not
my
intention
to
rouse
her
compassion
.
I
told
her
also
that
I
had
stolen
five
shillings
one
evening
.