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Bitter
it
is
to
stumble
out
of
an
opalescent
dream
into
the
cold
daylight
;
cruel
to
lose
in
a
second
a
sea
-
voyage
,
an
island
,
and
a
castle
that
was
to
be
practically
your
own
;
but
cruellest
and
bitterest
of
all
to
know
,
in
addition
to
your
loss
,
that
the
fingers
of
an
angry
aunt
have
you
tight
by
the
scruff
of
your
neck
.
My
beautiful
book
was
gone
too
—
ravished
from
my
grasp
by
the
dressy
lady
,
who
joined
in
the
outburst
of
denunciation
as
heartily
as
if
she
had
been
a
relative
—
and
naught
was
left
me
but
to
blubber
dismally
,
awakened
of
a
sudden
to
the
harshness
of
real
things
and
the
unnumbered
hostilities
of
the
actual
world
.
I
cared
little
for
their
reproaches
,
their
abuse
;
but
I
sorrowed
heartily
for
my
lost
ship
,
my
vanished
island
,
my
uneaten
dinner
,
and
for
the
knowledge
that
,
if
I
wanted
any
angels
to
play
with
,
I
must
henceforth
put
up
with
the
anaemic
,
night
-
gowned
nonentities
that
hovered
over
the
bed
of
the
Sunday
-
school
child
in
the
pages
of
the
Sabbath
Improver
.
I
was
led
ignominiously
out
of
the
house
,
in
a
pulpy
,
watery
state
,
while
the
butler
handled
his
swing
doors
with
a
stony
,
impassive
countenance
,
intended
for
the
deception
of
the
very
elect
,
though
it
did
not
deceive
me
.
I
knew
well
enough
that
next
time
he
was
off
duty
,
and
strolled
around
our
way
,
we
should
meet
in
our
kitchen
as
man
to
man
,
and
I
would
punch
him
and
ask
him
riddles
,
and
he
would
teach
me
tricks
with
corks
and
bits
of
string
.
So
his
unsympathetic
manner
did
not
add
to
my
depression
.
I
maintained
a
diplomatic
blubber
long
after
we
had
been
packed
into
our
pony
-
carriage
and
the
lodge
-
gate
had
clicked
behind
us
,
because
it
served
as
a
sort
of
armour
-
plating
against
heckling
and
argument
and
abuse
,
and
I
was
thinking
hard
and
wanted
to
be
let
alone
.
And
the
thoughts
that
I
was
thinking
were
two
First
I
thought
,
“
I
’
ve
got
ahead
of
Charlotte
THIS
time
!
”
And
next
I
thought
,
“
When
I
’
ve
grown
up
big
,
and
have
money
of
my
own
,
and
a
full
-
sized
walking
-
stick
,
I
will
set
out
early
one
morning
,
and
never
stop
till
I
get
to
that
little
walled
town
.
”
There
ought
to
be
no
real
difficulty
in
the
task
.
It
only
meant
asking
here
and
asking
there
,
and
people
were
very
obliging
,
and
I
could
describe
every
stick
and
stone
of
it
.
As
for
the
island
which
I
had
never
even
seen
,
that
was
not
so
easy
.
Yet
I
felt
confident
that
somehow
,
at
some
time
,
sooner
or
later
,
I
was
destined
to
arrive
.
It
happened
one
day
that
some
ladies
came
to
call
,
who
were
not
at
all
the
sort
I
was
used
to
.
They
suffered
from
a
grievance
,
so
far
as
I
could
gather
,
and
the
burden
of
their
plaint
was
Man
—
Men
in
general
and
Man
in
particular
.
(
Though
the
words
were
but
spoken
,
I
could
clearly
discern
the
capital
M
in
their
acid
utterance
.
)
Of
course
I
was
not
present
officially
,
so
to
speak
.
Down
below
,
in
my
sub
-
world
of
chair
-
legs
and
hearthrugs
and
the
undersides
of
sofas
,
I
was
working
out
my
own
floor
-
problems
,
while
they
babbled
on
far
above
my
head
,
considering
me
as
but
a
chair
-
leg
,
or
even
something
lower
in
the
scale
.
Yet
I
was
listening
hard
all
the
time
,
with
that
respectful
consideration
one
gives
to
all
grown
-
up
people
’
s
remarks
,
so
long
as
one
knows
no
better
.
