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I
took
a
pen
from
beside
my
pillow
and
wrote
the
number
"
5
"
on
the
back
of
my
left
hand
.
My
battle
begins
with
this
number
.
Let
’
s
see
how
much
I
can
take
with
me
.
So
what
if
the
world
hands
me
a
pile
of
shit
?
I
’
ll
comb
through
it
for
the
corn
.
I
’
ll
dodge
enemy
bullets
by
a
hair
’
s
breadth
.
I
’
ll
slaughter
Mimics
with
a
single
blow
.
If
Rita
Vrataski
is
a
goddess
on
the
battlefield
,
I
’
ll
watch
and
learn
until
I
can
match
her
kill
for
kill
.
I
have
all
the
time
in
the
world
Nothing
better
to
do
.
Who
knows
?
Maybe
something
will
change
.
Or
maybe
,
I
’
ll
find
a
way
to
take
this
fucking
world
and
piss
in
its
eye
.
That
’
d
be
just
fine
by
me
.
"
If
a
cat
can
catch
mice
,
"
a
Chinese
emperor
once
said
,
"
it
’
s
a
good
cat
.
"
Rita
Vrataski
was
a
very
good
cat
.
She
killed
her
share
and
was
duly
rewarded
.
I
,
on
the
other
hand
,
was
a
mangy
alley
cat
padding
listlessly
through
the
battlefield
,
all
ready
to
be
skinned
,
gutted
,
and
made
into
a
tennis
racquet
.
The
brass
made
sure
Rita
stayed
neatly
groomed
,
but
they
didn
’
t
give
a
rat
’
s
ass
about
the
rest
of
us
grunts
.
PT
had
been
going
on
for
three
grueling
hours
,
and
you
can
be
damn
sure
it
included
some
fucking
iso
push
-
ups
.
I
was
so
busy
trying
to
figure
out
what
to
do
next
that
I
wasn
’
t
paying
attention
to
the
here
and
now
.
After
half
an
hour
,
U
.
S
.
Special
Forces
gave
up
on
watching
our
tortures
and
went
back
to
the
barracks
.
I
kept
from
staring
at
Rita
,
and
she
left
along
with
the
rest
,
which
meant
I
was
in
for
the
long
haul
.
It
was
like
a
software
if
/
then
routine
:
If
checkflag
RitajoinsPT
=
true
,
then
end
.
Else
continue
routine
:
FuckingIsoPush
-
Ups
Maybe
this
was
proof
that
I
could
change
what
happened
.
If
I
stared
at
Rita
,
she
’
d
join
the
PT
,
and
they
’
d
end
it
after
an
hour
.
The
brass
had
convened
this
session
of
PT
for
no
good
reason
;
they
could
end
it
for
the
same
.
