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391
Some
nightmares
you
can
t
wake
up
from
,
no
matter
how
many
times
you
try
.
Me
,
I
was
trapped
in
a
nightmare
,
and
no
matter
how
many
times
I
woke
up
,
I
was
still
trapped
.
That
I
knew
I
was
caught
in
a
loop
I
couldn
t
break
out
of
was
the
worst
part
of
all
.
I
fought
back
panic
.
392
But
was
it
really
happening
to
me
again
?
393
The
same
day
I
d
already
lived
through
twice
was
unfolding
again
around
me
.
Or
maybe
it
was
all
a
nightmare
,
after
all
.
Of
course
things
would
be
happening
the
way
I
remembered
them
.
It
was
all
in
my
head
,
so
why
not
?
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394
This
was
ridiculous
.
I
punched
the
mattress
.
395
Had
I
dreamed
that
black
point
flying
at
me
?
Was
the
javelin
that
shattered
my
breastplate
and
pierced
my
chest
all
in
my
head
?
Had
I
imagined
the
blood
,
the
coughing
up
bits
of
lung
?
396
Let
me
tell
you
what
happens
when
your
lungs
are
crushed
.
You
drown
,
not
in
water
,
but
in
air
.
Gasp
as
hard
as
you
like
,
crushed
lungs
can
t
pass
the
oxygen
your
body
needs
to
your
bloodstream
.
All
around
you
,
your
friends
are
breathing
in
and
out
without
a
second
thought
while
you
drown
alone
in
a
sea
of
air
.
I
never
knew
this
until
it
happened
to
me
.
I
d
never
even
heard
about
it
.
I
definitely
hadn
t
made
that
up
.
It
really
happened
.
397
It
didn
t
matter
if
I
never
told
anyone
,
if
no
one
ever
believed
me
.
It
would
still
be
true
.
The
sensation
it
had
imprinted
on
my
mind
was
proof
enough
of
that
.
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398
Pain
that
shoots
through
your
body
like
a
bolt
of
lightning
,
legs
so
damn
heavy
it
feels
like
they
ve
been
stuffed
with
sandbags
,
terror
so
strong
it
crushes
your
heart
-
that
s
not
the
stuff
of
imagination
and
dreams
.
I
wasn
t
sure
how
,
but
I
d
been
killed
.
Twice
.
No
doubt
about
it
.
399
I
didn
t
mind
listening
to
Yonabaru
tell
some
story
I
d
already
heard
before
.
Hell
,
I
d
do
that
ten
times
,
a
hundred
,
the
more
the
better
.
Our
daily
routines
were
all
filled
with
that
same
repetitive
shit
.
But
going
back
into
battle
?
No
thanks
.
400
If
I
stayed
here
,
I
d
be
killed
.
Whether
I
died
before
or
after
Yonabaru
didn
t
really
matter
.
There
was
no
way
I
could
survive
the
firefight
.
I
had
to
get
away
.
I
had
to
be
anywhere
but
here
.