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- Говард Лавкрафт
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- Тень над Иннсмутом
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- Стр. 32/41
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There
was
much
more
than
I
could
remember
,
but
even
what
I
did
remember
each
morning
would
be
enough
to
stamp
me
as
a
madman
or
a
genius
if
ever
I
dared
write
it
down
.
Some
frightful
influence
,
I
felt
,
was
seeking
gradually
to
drag
me
out
of
the
sane
world
of
wholesome
life
into
unnamable
abysses
of
blackness
and
alienage
;
and
the
process
told
heavily
on
me
.
My
health
and
appearance
grew
steadily
worse
,
till
finally
I
was
forced
to
give
up
my
position
and
adopt
the
static
,
secluded
life
of
an
invalid
.
Some
odd
nervous
affliction
had
me
in
its
grip
,
and
I
found
myself
at
times
almost
unable
to
shut
my
eyes
.
It
was
then
that
I
began
to
study
the
mirror
with
mounting
alarm
.
The
slow
ravages
of
disease
are
not
pleasant
to
watch
,
but
in
my
case
there
was
something
subtler
and
more
puzzling
in
the
background
.
My
father
seemed
to
notice
it
,
too
,
for
he
began
looking
at
me
curiously
and
almost
affrightedly
.
What
was
taking
place
in
me
?
Could
it
be
that
I
was
coming
to
resemble
my
grandmother
and
uncle
Douglas
?
One
night
I
had
a
frightful
dream
in
which
I
met
my
grandmother
under
the
sea
.
She
lived
in
a
phosphorescent
palace
of
many
terraces
,
with
gardens
of
strange
leprous
corals
and
grotesque
brachiate
efflorescences
,
and
welcomed
me
with
a
warmth
that
may
have
been
sardonic
.
She
had
changed
--
as
those
who
take
to
the
water
change
--
and
told
me
she
had
never
died
.
Instead
,
she
had
gone
to
a
spot
her
dead
son
had
learned
about
,
and
had
leaped
to
a
realm
whose
wonders
--
destined
for
him
as
well
--
he
had
spurned
with
a
smoking
pistol
.
This
was
to
be
my
realm
,
too
--
I
could
not
escape
it
.
I
would
never
die
,
but
would
live
with
those
who
had
lived
since
before
man
ever
walked
the
earth
.
I
met
also
that
which
had
been
her
grandmother
.
For
eighty
thousand
years
Pth
'
thya-l'yi
had
lived
in
Y'
ha-nthlei
,
and
thither
she
had
gone
back
after
Obed
Marsh
was
dead
.
Y'
ha-nthlei
was
not
destroyed
when
the
upper-earth
men
shot
death
into
the
sea
.
It
was
hurt
,
but
not
destroyed
.
The
Deep
Ones
could
never
be
destroyed
,
even
though
the
palaeogean
magic
of
the
forgotten
Old
Ones
might
sometimes
check
them
.
For
the
present
they
would
rest
;
but
some
day
,
if
they
remembered
,
they
would
rise
again
for
the
tribute
Great
Cthulhu
craved
.
It
would
be
a
city
greater
than
Innsmouth
next
time
.
They
had
planned
to
spread
,
and
had
brought
up
that
which
would
help
them
,
but
now
they
must
wait
once
more
.
For
bringing
the
upper-earth
men
's
death
I
must
do
a
penance
,
but
that
would
not
be
heavy
.
This
was
the
dream
in
which
I
saw
a
shoggoth
for
the
first
time
,
and
the
sight
set
me
awake
in
a
frenzy
of
screaming
.
That
morning
the
mirror
definitely
told
me
I
had
acquired
the
Innsmouth
look
.
So
far
I
have
not
shot
myself
as
my
uncle
Douglas
did
.
I
bought
an
automatic
and
almost
took
the
step
,
but
certain
dreams
deterred
me
.
The
tense
extremes
of
horror
are
lessening
,
and
I
feel
queerly
drawn
toward
the
unknown
sea-deeps
instead
of
fearing
them
I
hear
and
do
strange
things
in
sleep
,
and
awake
with
a
kind
of
exaltation
instead
of
terror
.
I
do
not
believe
I
need
to
wait
for
the
full
change
as
most
have
waited
.
If
I
did
,
my
father
would
probably
shut
me
up
in
a
sanitarium
as
my
poor
little
cousin
is
shut
up
.
Stupendous
and
unheard-of
splendors
await
me
below
,
and
I
shall
seek
them
soon
.
Ia-R
'
lyehl
Cihuiha
flgagnl
id
Ia
!
No
,
I
shall
not
shoot
myself
--
I
can
not
be
made
to
shoot
myself
!
I
shall
plan
my
cousin
's
escape
from
that
Canton
mad-house
,
and
together
we
shall
go
to
marvel-shadowed
Innsmouth
.
We
shall
swim
out
to
that
brooding
reef
in
the
sea
and
dive
down
through
black
abysses
to
Cyclopean
and
many-columned
Y'
ha-nthlei
,
and
in
that
lair
of
the
Deep
Ones
we
shall
dwell
amidst
wonder
and
glory
for
ever
.
It
was
a
gentle
daylight
rain
that
awaked
me
front
my
stupor
in
the
brush-grown
railway
cut
,
and
when
I
staggered
out
to
the
roadway
ahead
I
saw
no
trace
of
any
prints
in
the
fresh
mud
.
The
fishy
odour
,
too
,
was
gone
,
Innsmouth
's
ruined
roofs
and
toppling
steeples
loomed
up
greyly
toward
the
southeast
,
but
not
a
living
creature
did
I
spy
in
all
the
desolate
salt
marshes
around
.
My
watch
was
still
going
,
and
told
me
that
the
hour
was
past
noon
.
The
reality
of
what
I
had
been
through
was
highly
uncertain
in
my
mind
,
but
I
felt
that
something
hideous
lay
in
the
background
.
I
must
get
away
from
evil-shadowed
Innsmouth
--
and
accordingly
I
began
to
test
my
cramped
,
wearied
powers
of
locomotion
.
Despite
weakness
hunger
,
horror
,
and
bewilderment
I
found
myself
after
a
time
able
to
walk
;
so
started
slowly
along
the
muddy
road
to
Rowley
.
Before
evening
I
was
in
village
,
getting
a
meal
and
providing
myself
with
presentable
clothes
.
I
caught
the
night
train
to
Arkham
,
and
the
next
day
talked
long
and
earnestly
with
government
officials
there
;
a
process
I
later
repeated
in
Boston
.
With
the
main
result
of
these
colloquies
the
public
is
now
familiar
--
and
I
wish
,
for
normality
's
sake
,
there
were
nothing
more
to
tell
.
Perhaps
it
is
madness
that
is
overtaking
me
--
yet
perhaps
a
greater
horror
--
or
a
greater
marvel
--
is
reaching
out
.
