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But
I
could
not
do
it
.
I
saw
Bedford
rushing
down
Chancery
Lane
,
hat
on
the
back
of
his
head
,
coat
tails
flying
out
,
en
route
for
his
public
examination
.
I
saw
him
dodging
and
bumping
against
,
and
even
saluting
,
other
similar
little
creatures
in
that
swarming
gutter
of
people
.
Me
?
I
saw
Bedford
that
same
evening
in
the
sitting-room
of
a
certain
lady
,
and
his
hat
was
on
the
table
beside
him
,
and
it
wanted
brushing
badly
,
and
he
was
in
tears
.
Me
?
I
saw
him
with
that
lady
in
various
attitudes
and
emotions
--
I
never
felt
so
detached
before
...
I
saw
him
hurrying
off
to
Lympne
to
write
a
play
,
and
accosting
Cavor
,
and
in
his
shirt
sleeves
working
at
the
sphere
,
and
walking
out
to
Canterbury
because
he
was
afraid
to
come
!
Me
?
I
did
not
believe
it
.
I
still
reasoned
that
all
this
was
hallucination
due
to
my
solitude
,
and
the
fact
that
I
had
lost
all
weight
and
sense
of
resistance
.
I
endeavoured
to
recover
that
sense
by
banging
myself
about
the
sphere
,
by
pinching
my
hands
and
clasping
them
together
.
Among
other
things
,
I
lit
the
light
,
captured
that
torn
copy
of
Lloyd
's
,
and
read
those
convincingly
realistic
advertisements
about
the
Cutaway
bicycle
,
and
the
gentleman
of
private
means
,
and
the
lady
in
distress
who
was
selling
those
"
forks
and
spoons
.
"
There
was
no
doubt
they
existed
surely
enough
,
and
,
said
I
,
"
This
is
your
world
,
and
you
are
Bedford
,
and
you
are
going
back
to
live
among
things
like
that
for
all
the
rest
of
your
life
.
"
But
the
doubts
within
me
could
still
argue
:
"
It
is
not
you
that
is
reading
,
it
is
Bedford
,
but
you
are
not
Bedford
,
you
know
.
That
's
just
where
the
mistake
comes
in
.
"
"
Confound
it
!
"
I
cried
;
"
and
if
I
am
not
Bedford
,
what
am
I
?
"
But
in
that
direction
no
light
was
forthcoming
,
though
the
strangest
fancies
came
drifting
into
my
brain
,
queer
remote
suspicions
,
like
shadows
seen
from
away
.
Do
you
know
,
I
had
a
sort
of
idea
that
really
I
was
something
quite
outside
not
only
the
world
,
but
all
worlds
,
and
out
of
space
and
time
,
and
that
this
poor
Bedford
was
just
a
peephole
through
which
I
looked
at
life
?
...
Bedford
!
However
I
disavowed
him
,
there
I
was
most
certainly
bound
up
with
him
,
and
I
knew
that
wherever
or
whatever
I
might
be
,
I
must
needs
feel
the
stress
of
his
desires
,
and
sympathise
with
all
his
joys
and
sorrows
until
his
life
should
end
.
And
with
the
dying
of
Bedford
--
what
then
?
...
Enough
of
this
remarkable
phase
of
my
experiences
!
I
tell
it
here
simply
to
show
how
one
's
isolation
and
departure
from
this
planet
touched
not
only
the
functions
and
feeling
of
every
organ
of
the
body
,
but
indeed
also
the
very
fabric
of
the
mind
,
with
strange
and
unanticipated
disturbances
.
All
through
the
major
portion
of
that
vast
space
journey
I
hung
thinking
of
such
immaterial
things
as
these
,
hung
dissociated
and
apathetic
,
a
cloudy
megalomaniac
,
as
it
were
,
amidst
the
stars
and
planets
in
the
void
of
space
;
and
not
only
the
world
to
which
I
was
returning
,
but
the
blue-lit
caverns
of
the
Selenites
,
their
helmet
faces
,
their
gigantic
and
wonderful
machines
,
and
the
fate
of
Cavor
,
dragged
helpless
into
that
world
,
seemed
infinitely
minute
and
altogether
trivial
things
to
me
Until
at
last
I
began
to
feel
the
pull
of
the
earth
upon
my
being
,
drawing
me
back
again
to
the
life
that
is
real
for
men
.
And
then
,
indeed
,
it
grew
clearer
and
clearer
to
me
that
I
was
quite
certainly
Bedford
after
all
,
and
returning
after
amazing
adventures
to
this
world
of
ours
,
and
with
a
life
that
I
was
very
likely
to
lose
in
this
return
.
I
set
myself
to
puzzle
out
the
conditions
under
which
I
must
fall
to
earth
.
My
line
of
flight
was
about
parallel
with
the
surface
as
I
came
into
the
upper
air
.
The
temperature
of
the
sphere
began
to
rise
forthwith
.
I
knew
it
behoved
me
to
drop
at
once
.
Far
below
me
,
in
a
darkling
twilight
,
stretched
a
great
expanse
of
sea
.
I
opened
every
window
I
could
,
and
fell
--
out
of
sunshine
into
evening
,
and
out
of
evening
into
night
.
Vaster
grew
the
earth
and
vaster
,
swallowing
up
the
stars
,
and
the
silvery
translucent
starlit
veil
of
cloud
it
wore
spread
out
to
catch
me
.
At
last
the
world
seemed
no
longer
a
sphere
but
flat
,
and
then
concave
.
It
was
no
longer
a
planet
in
the
sky
,
but
the
world
of
Man
.
I
shut
all
but
an
inch
or
so
of
earthward
window
,
and
dropped
with
a
slackening
velocity
.
The
broadening
water
,
now
so
near
that
I
could
see
the
dark
glitter
of
the
waves
,
rushed
up
to
meet
me
.
The
sphere
became
very
hot
.
I
snapped
the
last
strip
of
window
,
and
sat
scowling
and
biting
my
knuckles
,
waiting
for
the
impact
...
The
sphere
hit
the
water
with
a
huge
splash
:
it
must
have
sent
it
fathoms
high
.
At
the
splash
I
flung
the
Cavorite
shutters
open
.
Down
I
went
,
but
slower
and
slower
,
and
then
I
felt
the
sphere
pressing
against
my
feet
,
and
so
drove
up
again
as
a
bubble
drives
.
And
at
the
last
I
was
floating
and
rocking
upon
the
surface
of
the
sea
,
and
my
journey
in
space
was
at
an
end
.
The
night
was
dark
and
overcast
.
Two
yellow
pinpoints
far
away
showed
the
passing
of
a
ship
,
and
nearer
was
a
red
glare
that
came
and
went
.
Had
not
the
electricity
of
my
glow-lamp
exhausted
itself
,
I
could
have
got
picked
up
that
night
.
