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At
the
beginning
of
1917
,
when
it
was
becoming
difficult
to
find
coal
,
Dick
burned
for
fuel
almost
a
hundred
textbooks
that
he
had
accumulated
;
but
only
,
as
he
laid
each
one
on
the
fire
,
with
an
assurance
chuckling
inside
him
that
he
was
himself
a
digest
of
what
was
within
the
book
,
that
he
could
brief
it
five
years
from
now
,
if
it
deserved
to
be
briefed
.
This
went
on
at
any
odd
hour
,
if
necessary
,
with
a
floor
rug
over
his
shoulders
,
with
the
fine
quiet
of
the
scholar
which
is
nearest
of
all
things
to
heavenly
peace
—
but
which
,
as
will
presently
be
told
,
had
to
end
.
For
its
temporary
continuance
he
thanked
his
body
that
had
done
the
flying
rings
at
New
Haven
,
and
now
swam
in
the
winter
Danube
.
With
Elkins
,
second
secretary
at
the
Embassy
,
he
shared
an
apartment
,
and
there
were
two
nice
girl
visitors
—
which
was
that
and
not
too
much
of
it
,
nor
too
much
of
the
Embassy
either
.
His
contact
with
Ed
Elkins
aroused
in
him
a
first
faint
doubt
as
to
the
quality
of
his
mental
processes
;
he
could
not
feel
that
they
were
profoundly
different
from
the
thinking
of
Elkins
—
Elkins
,
who
would
name
you
all
the
quarterbacks
in
New
Haven
for
thirty
years
.
"
—
And
Lucky
Dick
can
’
t
be
one
of
these
clever
men
;
he
must
be
less
intact
,
even
faintly
destroyed
.
If
life
won
’
t
do
it
for
him
it
’
s
not
a
substitute
to
get
a
disease
,
or
a
broken
heart
,
or
an
inferiority
complex
,
though
it
’
d
be
nice
to
build
out
some
broken
side
till
it
was
better
than
the
original
structure
.
"
He
mocked
at
his
reasoning
,
calling
it
specious
and
"
American
"
—
his
criteria
of
uncerebral
phrase
-
making
was
that
it
was
American
.
He
knew
,
though
,
that
the
price
of
his
intactness
was
incompleteness
.
"
The
best
I
can
wish
you
,
my
child
,
"
so
said
the
Fairy
Blackstick
in
Thackeray
’
s
The
Rose
and
the
Ring
,
"
is
a
little
misfortune
.
"
In
some
moods
he
griped
at
his
own
reasoning
:
Could
I
help
it
that
Pete
Livingstone
sat
in
the
locker
-
room
Tap
Day
when
everybody
looked
all
over
hell
for
him
?
And
I
got
an
election
when
otherwise
I
wouldn
’
t
have
got
Elihu
,
knowing
so
few
men
.
He
was
good
and
right
and
I
ought
to
have
sat
in
the
locker
-
room
instead
.
Maybe
I
would
,
if
I
’
d
thought
I
had
a
chance
at
an
election
.
But
Mercer
kept
coming
to
my
room
all
those
weeks
.
I
guess
I
knew
I
had
a
chance
all
right
,
all
right
.
But
it
would
have
served
me
right
if
I
’
d
swallowed
my
pin
in
the
shower
and
set
up
a
conflict
.
After
the
lectures
at
the
university
he
used
to
argue
this
point
with
a
young
Rumanian
intellectual
who
reassured
him
:
"
There
’
s
no
evidence
that
Goethe
ever
had
a
‘
conflict
’
in
the
modern
sense
,
or
a
man
like
Jung
,
for
instance
.
You
’
re
not
a
romantic
philosopher
—
you
’
re
a
scientist
.
Memory
,
force
,
character
—
especially
good
sense
.
That
’
s
going
to
be
your
trouble
—
judgment
about
yourself
—
once
I
knew
a
man
who
worked
two
years
on
the
brain
of
an
armadillo
,
with
the
idea
that
he
would
sooner
or
later
know
more
about
the
brain
of
an
armadillo
than
any
one
I
kept
arguing
with
him
that
he
was
not
really
pushing
out
the
extension
of
the
human
range
—
it
was
too
arbitrary
.
And
sure
enough
,
when
he
sent
his
work
to
the
medical
journal
they
refused
it
—
they
had
just
accepted
a
thesis
by
another
man
on
the
same
subject
.
"
Dick
got
up
to
Zurich
on
less
Achilles
’
heels
than
would
be
required
to
equip
a
centipede
,
but
with
plenty
—
the
illusions
of
eternal
strength
and
health
,
and
of
the
essential
goodness
of
people
;
illusions
of
a
nation
,
the
lies
of
generations
of
frontier
mothers
who
had
to
croon
falsely
,
that
there
were
no
wolves
outside
the
cabin
door
.
After
he
took
his
degree
,
he
received
his
orders
to
join
a
neurological
unit
forming
in
Bar
-
sur
-
Aube
.
In
France
,
to
his
disgust
,
the
work
was
executive
rather
than
practical
.
In
compensation
he
found
time
to
complete
the
short
textbook
and
assemble
the
material
for
his
next
venture
.
He
returned
to
Zurich
in
the
spring
of
1919
discharged
.
