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"
I
'm
thirty
,
"
I
said
.
"
I
'm
five
years
too
old
to
lie
to
myself
and
call
it
honor
.
"
She
did
n't
answer
.
Angry
,
and
half
in
love
with
her
,
and
tremendously
sorry
,
I
turned
away
.
One
afternoon
late
in
October
I
saw
Tom
Buchanan
.
He
was
walking
ahead
of
me
along
Fifth
Avenue
in
his
alert
,
aggressive
way
,
his
hands
out
a
little
from
his
body
as
if
to
fight
off
interference
,
his
head
moving
sharply
here
and
there
,
adapting
itself
to
his
restless
eyes
.
Just
as
I
slowed
up
to
avoid
overtaking
him
he
stopped
and
began
frowning
into
the
windows
of
a
jewelry
store
.
Suddenly
he
saw
me
and
walked
back
,
holding
out
his
hand
.
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"
What
's
the
matter
,
Nick
?
Do
you
object
to
shaking
hands
with
me
?
"
"
Yes
.
You
know
what
I
think
of
you
.
"
"
You
're
crazy
,
Nick
,
"
he
said
quickly
.
"
Crazy
as
hell
.
I
do
n't
know
what
's
the
matter
with
you
.
"
"
Tom
,
"
I
inquired
,
"
what
did
you
say
to
Wilson
that
afternoon
?
"
He
stared
at
me
without
a
word
,
and
I
knew
I
had
guessed
right
about
those
missing
hours
.
I
started
to
turn
away
,
but
he
took
a
step
after
me
and
grabbed
my
arm
.
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"
I
told
him
the
truth
,
"
he
said
.
"
He
came
to
the
door
while
we
were
getting
ready
to
leave
,
and
when
I
sent
down
word
that
we
were
n't
in
he
tried
to
force
his
way
up-stairs
.
He
was
crazy
enough
to
kill
me
if
I
had
n't
told
him
who
owned
the
car
.
His
hand
was
on
a
revolver
in
his
pocket
every
minute
he
was
in
the
house
--
--
"
He
broke
off
defiantly
.
"
What
if
I
did
tell
him
?
That
fellow
had
it
coming
to
him
.
He
threw
dust
into
your
eyes
just
like
he
did
in
Daisy
's
,
but
he
was
a
tough
one
.
He
ran
over
Myrtle
like
you
'd
run
over
a
dog
and
never
even
stopped
his
car
.
"
There
was
nothing
I
could
say
,
except
the
one
unutterable
fact
that
it
was
n't
true
.
"
And
if
you
think
I
did
n't
have
my
share
of
suffering
--
look
here
,
when
I
went
to
give
up
that
flat
and
saw
that
damn
box
of
dog
biscuits
sitting
there
on
the
sideboard
,
I
sat
down
and
cried
like
a
baby
.
By
God
it
was
awful
--
--
"