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Jessica
nodded
,
unable
to
speak
.
“
My
father
charged
me
once
,
”
Paul
said
,
“
to
give
you
a
message
if
anything
happened
to
him
.
He
feared
you
might
believe
he
distrusted
you
.
”
That
useless
suspicion
,
she
thought
.
“
He
wanted
you
to
know
he
never
suspected
you
,
”
Paul
said
,
and
explained
the
deception
,
adding
:
“
He
wanted
you
to
know
he
always
trusted
you
completely
,
always
loved
you
and
cherished
you
.
He
said
he
would
sooner
have
mistrusted
himself
and
he
had
but
one
regret
—
that
he
never
made
you
his
Duchess
.
”
She
brushed
the
tears
coursing
down
her
cheeks
,
thought
:
What
a
stupid
waste
of
the
body
’
s
water
!
But
she
knew
this
thought
for
what
it
was
—
the
attempt
to
retreat
from
grief
into
anger
.
Leto
,
my
Leto
,
she
thought
.
What
terrible
things
we
do
to
those
we
love
!
With
a
violent
motion
,
she
extinguished
the
little
manual
’
s
glowtab
.
Sobs
shook
her
.
Paul
heard
his
mother
’
s
grief
and
felt
the
emptiness
within
himself
.
I
have
no
grief
,
he
thought
.
Why
?
Why
?
He
felt
the
inability
to
grieve
as
a
terrible
flaw
.
“
A
time
to
get
and
time
to
lose
,
”
Jessica
thought
,
quoting
to
herself
from
the
O
.
C
.
Bible
.
“
A
time
to
keep
and
a
time
to
cast
away
;
a
time
for
love
and
a
time
to
hate
;
a
time
of
war
and
a
time
of
peace
.
”
Paul
’
s
mind
had
gone
on
in
its
chilling
precision
.
He
saw
the
avenues
ahead
of
them
on
this
hostile
planet
.
Without
even
the
safety
valve
of
dreaming
,
he
focused
his
prescient
awareness
,
seeing
it
as
a
computation
of
most
probable
futures
,
but
with
something
more
,
an
edge
of
mystery
—
as
though
his
mind
dipped
into
some
timeless
stratum
and
sampled
the
winds
of
the
future
.
Abruptly
,
as
though
he
had
found
a
necessary
key
,
Paul
’
s
mind
climbed
another
notch
in
awareness
.
He
felt
himself
clinging
to
this
new
level
,
clutching
at
a
precarious
hold
and
peering
about
.
