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"
If
I
had
had
the
power
to
prevent
my
own
birth
I
should
certainly
never
have
consented
to
accept
existence
under
such
ridiculous
conditions
.
However
,
I
have
the
power
to
end
my
existence
,
although
I
do
but
give
back
days
that
are
already
numbered
.
It
is
an
insignificant
gift
,
and
my
revolt
is
equally
insignificant
.
"
Final
explanation
:
I
die
,
not
in
the
least
because
I
am
unable
to
support
these
next
three
weeks
.
Oh
no
,
I
should
find
strength
enough
,
and
if
I
wished
it
I
could
obtain
consolation
from
the
thought
of
the
injury
that
is
done
me
.
But
I
am
not
a
French
poet
,
and
I
do
not
desire
such
consolation
.
And
finally
,
nature
has
so
limited
my
capacity
for
work
or
activity
of
any
kind
,
in
allotting
me
but
three
weeks
of
time
,
that
suicide
is
about
the
only
thing
left
that
I
can
begin
and
end
in
the
time
of
my
own
free
will
.
"
Perhaps
then
I
am
anxious
to
take
advantage
of
my
last
chance
of
doing
something
for
myself
.
A
protest
is
sometimes
no
small
thing
.
"
The
explanation
was
finished
;
Hippolyte
paused
at
last
.
There
is
,
in
extreme
cases
,
a
final
stage
of
cynical
candour
when
a
nervous
man
,
excited
,
and
beside
himself
with
emotion
,
will
be
afraid
of
nothing
and
ready
for
any
sort
of
scandal
,
nay
,
glad
of
it
.
The
extraordinary
,
almost
unnatural
,
tension
of
the
nerves
which
upheld
Hippolyte
up
to
this
point
,
had
now
arrived
at
this
final
stage
.
This
poor
feeble
boy
of
eighteen
--
exhausted
by
disease
--
looked
for
all
the
world
as
weak
and
frail
as
a
leaflet
torn
from
its
parent
tree
and
trembling
in
the
breeze
;
but
no
sooner
had
his
eye
swept
over
his
audience
,
for
the
first
time
during
the
whole
of
the
last
hour
,
than
the
most
contemptuous
,
the
most
haughty
expression
of
repugnance
lighted
up
his
face
.
He
defied
them
all
,
as
it
were
.
But
his
hearers
were
indignant
,
too
;
they
rose
to
their
feet
with
annoyance
.
Fatigue
,
the
wine
consumed
,
the
strain
of
listening
so
long
,
all
added
to
the
disagreeable
impression
which
the
reading
had
made
upon
them
.
Suddenly
Hippolyte
jumped
up
as
though
he
had
been
shot
.
"
The
sun
is
rising
,
"
he
cried
,
seeing
the
gilded
tops
of
the
trees
,
and
pointing
to
them
as
to
a
miracle
.
"
See
,
it
is
rising
now
!
"
"
Well
,
what
then
?
Did
you
suppose
it
was
n't
going
to
rise
?
"
asked
Ferdishenko
.
"
It
's
going
to
be
atrociously
hot
again
all
day
,
"
said
Gania
,
with
an
air
of
annoyance
,
taking
his
hat
.
"
A
month
of
this
...
