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- Федор Достоевский
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- Стр. 278/592
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He
burst
out
laughing
again
,
but
it
was
the
laughter
of
a
madman
.
Lizabetha
Prokofievna
approached
him
anxiously
and
seized
his
arm
.
He
stared
at
her
for
a
moment
,
still
laughing
,
but
soon
his
face
grew
serious
.
"
Do
you
know
that
I
came
here
to
see
those
trees
?
"
pointing
to
the
trees
in
the
park
.
"
It
is
not
ridiculous
,
is
it
?
Say
that
it
is
not
ridiculous
!
"
he
demanded
urgently
of
Lizabetha
Prokofievna
.
Then
he
seemed
to
be
plunged
in
thought
.
A
moment
later
he
raised
his
head
,
and
his
eyes
sought
for
someone
.
He
was
looking
for
Evgenie
Pavlovitch
,
who
was
close
by
on
his
right
as
before
,
but
he
had
forgotten
this
,
and
his
eyes
ranged
over
the
assembled
company
.
"
Ah
!
you
have
not
gone
!
"
he
said
,
when
he
caught
sight
of
him
at
last
.
"
You
kept
on
laughing
just
now
,
because
I
thought
of
speaking
to
the
people
from
the
window
for
a
quarter
of
an
hour
.
But
I
am
not
eighteen
,
you
know
;
lying
on
that
bed
,
and
looking
out
of
that
window
,
I
have
thought
of
all
sorts
of
things
for
such
a
long
time
that
...
a
dead
man
has
no
age
,
you
know
.
I
was
saying
that
to
myself
only
last
week
,
when
I
was
awake
in
the
night
.
Do
you
know
what
you
fear
most
?
You
fear
our
sincerity
more
than
anything
,
although
you
despise
us
!
The
idea
crossed
my
mind
that
night
...
You
thought
I
was
making
fun
of
you
just
now
,
Lizabetha
Prokofievna
?
No
,
the
idea
of
mockery
was
far
from
me
;
I
only
meant
to
praise
you
.
Colia
told
me
the
prince
called
you
a
child
--
very
well
--
but
let
me
see
,
I
had
something
else
to
say
...
"
He
covered
his
face
with
his
hands
and
tried
to
collect
his
thoughts
.
"
Ah
,
yes
--
you
were
going
away
just
now
,
and
I
thought
to
myself
:
'
I
shall
never
see
these
people
again
--
never
again
!
This
is
the
last
time
I
shall
see
the
trees
,
too
.
I
shall
see
nothing
after
this
but
the
red
brick
wall
of
Meyer
's
house
opposite
my
window
.
Tell
them
about
it
--
try
to
tell
them
,
'
I
thought
.
'
Here
is
a
beautiful
young
girl
--
you
are
a
dead
man
;
make
them
understand
that
.
Tell
them
that
a
dead
man
may
say
anything
--
and
Mrs.
Grundy
will
not
be
angry
--
ha-ha
!
You
are
not
laughing
?
"
He
looked
anxiously
around
.
"
But
you
know
I
get
so
many
queer
ideas
,
lying
there
in
bed
.
I
have
grown
convinced
that
nature
is
full
of
mockery
--
you
called
me
an
atheist
just
now
,
but
you
know
this
nature
...
why
are
you
laughing
again
?
You
are
very
cruel
!
"
he
added
suddenly
,
regarding
them
all
with
mournful
reproach
.
"
I
have
not
corrupted
Colia
,
"
he
concluded
in
a
different
and
very
serious
tone
,
as
if
remembering
something
again
.
"
Nobody
here
is
laughing
at
you
.
Calm
yourself
,
"
said
Lizabetha
Prokofievna
,
much
moved
.
"
You
shall
see
a
new
doctor
tomorrow
;
the
other
was
mistaken
;
but
sit
down
,
do
not
stand
like
that
!
You
are
delirious
--
"
Oh
,
what
shall
we
do
with
him
she
cried
in
anguish
,
as
she
made
him
sit
down
again
in
the
arm-chair
.
A
tear
glistened
on
her
cheek
.
At
the
sight
of
it
Hippolyte
seemed
amazed
.
He
lifted
his
hand
timidly
and
,
touched
the
tear
with
his
finger
,
smiling
like
a
child
.
"
I.
.
.
you
,
"
he
began
joyfully
.
"
You
can
not
tell
how
I.
.
.
he
always
spoke
so
enthusiastically
of
you
,
Colia
here
;
I
liked
his
enthusiasm
.
I
was
not
corrupting
him
!
But
I
must
leave
him
,
too
--
I
wanted
to
leave
them
all
--
there
was
not
one
of
them
--
not
one
!
I
wanted
to
be
a
man
of
action
--
I
had
a
right
to
be
.
Oh
!
what
a
lot
of
things
I
wanted
!
Now
I
want
nothing
;
I
renounce
all
my
wants
;
I
swore
to
myself
that
I
would
want
nothing
;
let
them
seek
the
truth
without
me
!
Yes
,
nature
is
full
of
mockery
!
Why
"
--
he
continued
with
sudden
warmth
--
"
does
she
create
the
choicest
beings
only
to
mock
at
them
?
The
only
human
being
who
is
recognized
as
perfect
,
when
nature
showed
him
to
mankind
,
was
given
the
mission
to
say
things
which
have
caused
the
shedding
of
so
much
blood
that
it
would
have
drowned
mankind
if
it
had
all
been
shed
at
once
!
Oh
!
it
is
better
for
me
to
die
!
I
should
tell
some
dreadful
lie
too
;
nature
would
so
contrive
it
!
I
have
corrupted
nobody
.
I
wanted
to
live
for
the
happiness
of
all
men
,
to
find
and
spread
the
truth
.
I
used
to
look
out
of
my
window
at
the
wall
of
Meyer
's
house
,
and
say
to
myself
that
if
I
could
speak
for
a
quarter
of
an
hour
I
would
convince
the
whole
world
,
and
now
for
once
in
my
life
I
have
come
into
contact
with
...
you
--
if
not
with
the
others
!
And
what
is
the
result
?
Nothing
!
The
sole
result
is
that
you
despise
me
!
Therefore
I
must
be
a
fool
,
I
am
useless
,
it
is
time
I
disappeared
!
And
I
shall
leave
not
even
a
memory
!
Not
a
sound
,
not
a
trace
,
not
a
single
deed
!
I
have
not
spread
a
single
truth
!
...
Do
not
laugh
at
the
fool
!
Forget
him
!
Forget
him
forever
!
I
beseech
you
,
do
not
be
so
cruel
as
to
remember
!
Do
you
know
that
if
I
were
not
consumptive
,
I
would
kill
myself
?
"
Though
he
seemed
to
wish
to
say
much
more
,
he
became
silent
.
He
fell
back
into
his
chair
,
and
,
covering
his
face
with
his
hands
,
began
to
sob
like
a
little
child
.
