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Raskolnikov
fancied
that
the
head
clerk
treated
him
more
casually
and
contemptuously
after
his
speech
,
but
strange
to
say
he
suddenly
felt
completely
indifferent
to
anyone
’
s
opinion
,
and
this
revulsion
took
place
in
a
flash
,
in
one
instant
.
If
he
had
cared
to
think
a
little
,
he
would
have
been
amazed
indeed
that
he
could
have
talked
to
them
like
that
a
minute
before
,
forcing
his
feelings
upon
them
.
And
where
had
those
feelings
come
from
?
Now
if
the
whole
room
had
been
filled
,
not
with
police
officers
,
but
with
those
nearest
and
dearest
to
him
,
he
would
not
have
found
one
human
word
for
them
,
so
empty
was
his
heart
.
A
gloomy
sensation
of
agonising
,
everlasting
solitude
and
remoteness
,
took
conscious
form
in
his
soul
.
It
was
not
the
meanness
of
his
sentimental
effusions
before
Ilya
Petrovitch
,
nor
the
meanness
of
the
latter
’
s
triumph
over
him
that
had
caused
this
sudden
revulsion
in
his
heart
.
Oh
,
what
had
he
to
do
now
with
his
own
baseness
,
with
all
these
petty
vanities
,
officers
,
German
women
,
debts
,
police
-
offices
?
If
he
had
been
sentenced
to
be
burnt
at
that
moment
,
he
would
not
have
stirred
,
would
hardly
have
heard
the
sentence
to
the
end
.
Something
was
happening
to
him
entirely
new
,
sudden
and
unknown
.
It
was
not
that
he
understood
,
but
he
felt
clearly
with
all
the
intensity
of
sensation
that
he
could
never
more
appeal
to
these
people
in
the
police
-
office
with
sentimental
effusions
like
his
recent
outburst
,
or
with
anything
whatever
;
and
that
if
they
had
been
his
own
brothers
and
sisters
and
not
police
-
officers
,
it
would
have
been
utterly
out
of
the
question
to
appeal
to
them
in
any
circumstance
of
life
.
He
had
never
experienced
such
a
strange
and
awful
sensation
.
And
what
was
most
agonising
—
it
was
more
a
sensation
than
a
conception
or
idea
,
a
direct
sensation
,
the
most
agonising
of
all
the
sensations
he
had
known
in
his
life
.
The
head
clerk
began
dictating
to
him
the
usual
form
of
declaration
,
that
he
could
not
pay
,
that
he
undertook
to
do
so
at
a
future
date
,
that
he
would
not
leave
the
town
,
nor
sell
his
property
,
and
so
on
.
“
But
you
can
’
t
write
,
you
can
hardly
hold
the
pen
,
”
observed
the
head
clerk
,
looking
with
curiosity
at
Raskolnikov
.
“
Are
you
ill
?
”
“
Yes
,
I
am
giddy
.
Go
on
!
”
“
That
’
s
all
.
Sign
it
.
”
The
head
clerk
took
the
paper
,
and
turned
to
attend
to
others
.
Raskolnikov
gave
back
the
pen
;
but
instead
of
getting
up
and
going
away
,
he
put
his
elbows
on
the
table
and
pressed
his
head
in
his
hands
.
He
felt
as
if
a
nail
were
being
driven
into
his
skull
.
A
strange
idea
suddenly
occurred
to
him
,
to
get
up
at
once
,
to
go
up
to
Nikodim
Fomitch
,
and
tell
him
everything
that
had
happened
yesterday
,
and
then
to
go
with
him
to
his
lodgings
and
to
show
him
the
things
in
the
hole
in
the
corner
.
The
impulse
was
so
strong
that
he
got
up
from
his
seat
to
carry
it
out
.
“
Hadn
’
t
I
better
think
a
minute
?
”
flashed
through
his
mind
.
“
No
,
better
cast
off
the
burden
without
thinking
.
”
But
all
at
once
he
stood
still
,
rooted
to
the
spot
.
Nikodim
Fomitch
was
talking
eagerly
with
Ilya
Petrovitch
,
and
the
words
reached
him
:
“
It
’
s
impossible
,
they
’
ll
both
be
released
.
To
begin
with
,
the
whole
story
contradicts
itself
.
Why
should
they
have
called
the
porter
,
if
it
had
been
their
doing
?
To
inform
against
themselves
?
Or
as
a
blind
?
No
,
that
would
be
too
cunning
!
Besides
,
Pestryakov
,
the
student
,
was
seen
at
the
gate
by
both
the
porters
and
a
woman
as
he
went
in
.
He
was
walking
with
three
friends
,
who
left
him
only
at
the
gate
,
and
he
asked
the
porters
to
direct
him
,
in
the
presence
of
the
friends
.
Now
,
would
he
have
asked
his
way
if
he
had
been
going
with
such
an
object
?
As
for
Koch
,
he
spent
half
an
hour
at
the
silversmith
’
s
below
,
before
he
went
up
to
the
old
woman
and
he
left
him
at
exactly
a
quarter
to
eight
.
Now
just
consider
.
.
.
”
