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- Федор Достоевский
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- Преступление и наказание
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- Стр. 42/453
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He
rushed
to
the
door
,
listened
,
caught
up
his
hat
and
began
to
descend
his
thirteen
steps
cautiously
,
noiselessly
,
like
a
cat
.
He
had
still
the
most
important
thing
to
do
—
to
steal
the
axe
from
the
kitchen
.
That
the
deed
must
be
done
with
an
axe
he
had
decided
long
ago
.
He
had
also
a
pocket
pruning
-
knife
,
but
he
could
not
rely
on
the
knife
and
still
less
on
his
own
strength
,
and
so
resolved
finally
on
the
axe
.
We
may
note
in
passing
,
one
peculiarity
in
regard
to
all
the
final
resolutions
taken
by
him
in
the
matter
;
they
had
one
strange
characteristic
:
the
more
final
they
were
,
the
more
hideous
and
the
more
absurd
they
at
once
became
in
his
eyes
.
In
spite
of
all
his
agonising
inward
struggle
,
he
never
for
a
single
instant
all
that
time
could
believe
in
the
carrying
out
of
his
plans
.
And
,
indeed
,
if
it
had
ever
happened
that
everything
to
the
least
point
could
have
been
considered
and
finally
settled
,
and
no
uncertainty
of
any
kind
had
remained
,
he
would
,
it
seems
,
have
renounced
it
all
as
something
absurd
,
monstrous
and
impossible
.
But
a
whole
mass
of
unsettled
points
and
uncertainties
remained
.
As
for
getting
the
axe
,
that
trifling
business
cost
him
no
anxiety
,
for
nothing
could
be
easier
.
Nastasya
was
continually
out
of
the
house
,
especially
in
the
evenings
;
she
would
run
in
to
the
neighbours
or
to
a
shop
,
and
always
left
the
door
ajar
.
It
was
the
one
thing
the
landlady
was
always
scolding
her
about
.
And
so
,
when
the
time
came
,
he
would
only
have
to
go
quietly
into
the
kitchen
and
to
take
the
axe
,
and
an
hour
later
(
when
everything
was
over
)
go
in
and
put
it
back
again
.
But
these
were
doubtful
points
.
Supposing
he
returned
an
hour
later
to
put
it
back
,
and
Nastasya
had
come
back
and
was
on
the
spot
.
He
would
of
course
have
to
go
by
and
wait
till
she
went
out
again
.
But
supposing
she
were
in
the
meantime
to
miss
the
axe
,
look
for
it
,
make
an
outcry
—
that
would
mean
suspicion
or
at
least
grounds
for
suspicion
.
But
those
were
all
trifles
which
he
had
not
even
begun
to
consider
,
and
indeed
he
had
no
time
.
He
was
thinking
of
the
chief
point
,
and
put
off
trifling
details
,
until
he
could
believe
in
it
all
.
But
that
seemed
utterly
unattainable
.
So
it
seemed
to
himself
at
least
.
He
could
not
imagine
,
for
instance
,
that
he
would
sometime
leave
off
thinking
,
get
up
and
simply
go
there
.
.
.
.
Even
his
late
experiment
(
i
.
e
.
his
visit
with
the
object
of
a
final
survey
of
the
place
)
was
simply
an
attempt
at
an
experiment
,
far
from
being
the
real
thing
,
as
though
one
should
say
“
come
,
let
us
go
and
try
it
—
why
dream
about
it
!
”
—
and
at
once
he
had
broken
down
and
had
run
away
cursing
,
in
a
frenzy
with
himself
.
Meanwhile
it
would
seem
,
as
regards
the
moral
question
,
that
his
analysis
was
complete
;
his
casuistry
had
become
keen
as
a
razor
,
and
he
could
not
find
rational
objections
in
himself
.
But
in
the
last
resort
he
simply
ceased
to
believe
in
himself
,
and
doggedly
,
slavishly
sought
arguments
in
all
directions
,
fumbling
for
them
,
as
though
someone
were
forcing
and
drawing
him
to
it
.
At
first
—
long
before
indeed
—
he
had
been
much
occupied
with
one
question
;
why
almost
all
crimes
are
so
badly
concealed
and
so
easily
detected
,
and
why
almost
all
criminals
leave
such
obvious
traces
?
He
had
come
gradually
to
many
different
and
curious
conclusions
,
and
in
his
opinion
the
chief
reason
lay
not
so
much
in
the
material
impossibility
of
concealing
the
crime
,
as
in
the
criminal
himself
.
Almost
every
criminal
is
subject
to
a
failure
of
will
and
reasoning
power
by
a
childish
and
phenomenal
heedlessness
,
at
the
very
instant
when
prudence
and
caution
are
most
essential
.
It
was
his
conviction
that
this
eclipse
of
reason
and
failure
of
will
power
attacked
a
man
like
a
disease
,
developed
gradually
and
reached
its
highest
point
just
before
the
perpetration
of
the
crime
,
continued
with
equal
violence
at
the
moment
of
the
crime
and
for
longer
or
shorter
time
after
,
according
to
the
individual
case
,
and
then
passed
off
like
any
other
disease
.
The
question
whether
the
disease
gives
rise
to
the
crime
,
or
whether
the
crime
from
its
own
peculiar
nature
is
always
accompanied
by
something
of
the
nature
of
disease
,
he
did
not
yet
feel
able
to
decide
.
When
he
reached
these
conclusions
,
he
decided
that
in
his
own
case
there
could
not
be
such
a
morbid
reaction
,
that
his
reason
and
will
would
remain
unimpaired
at
the
time
of
carrying
out
his
design
,
for
the
simple
reason
that
his
design
was
“
not
a
crime
.
.
.
.
”
We
will
omit
all
the
process
by
means
of
which
he
arrived
at
this
last
conclusion
;
we
have
run
too
far
ahead
already
.
.
.
.
We
may
add
only
that
the
practical
,
purely
material
difficulties
of
the
affair
occupied
a
secondary
position
in
his
mind
.
“
One
has
but
to
keep
all
one
’
s
will
-
power
and
reason
to
deal
with
them
,
and
they
will
all
be
overcome
at
the
time
when
once
one
has
familiarised
oneself
with
the
minutest
details
of
the
business
.
.
.
.
”
But
this
preparation
had
never
been
begun
.
His
final
decisions
were
what
he
came
to
trust
least
,
and
when
the
hour
struck
,
it
all
came
to
pass
quite
differently
,
as
it
were
accidentally
and
unexpectedly
.
One
trifling
circumstance
upset
his
calculations
,
before
he
had
even
left
the
staircase
.
When
he
reached
the
landlady
’
s
kitchen
,
the
door
of
which
was
open
as
usual
,
he
glanced
cautiously
in
to
see
whether
,
in
Nastasya
’
s
absence
,
the
landlady
herself
was
there
,
or
if
not
,
whether
the
door
to
her
own
room
was
closed
,
so
that
she
might
not
peep
out
when
he
went
in
for
the
axe
.
But
what
was
his
amazement
when
he
suddenly
saw
that
Nastasya
was
not
only
at
home
in
the
kitchen
,
but
was
occupied
there
,
taking
linen
out
of
a
basket
and
hanging
it
on
a
line
.
Seeing
him
,
she
left
off
hanging
the
clothes
,
turned
to
him
and
stared
at
him
all
the
time
he
was
passing
.
He
turned
away
his
eyes
,
and
walked
past
as
though
he
noticed
nothing
.
But
it
was
the
end
of
everything
;
he
had
not
the
axe
!
He
was
overwhelmed
.
“
What
made
me
think
,
”
he
reflected
,
as
he
went
under
the
gateway
,
“
what
made
me
think
that
she
would
be
sure
not
to
be
at
home
at
that
moment
!
Why
,
why
,
why
did
I
assume
this
so
certainly
?
”
