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But
almost
at
the
same
instant
a
serious
and
careworn
look
came
into
his
face
;
to
his
surprise
Raskolnikov
saw
a
touch
of
sadness
in
it
.
He
had
never
seen
and
never
suspected
such
an
expression
in
his
face
.
A
strange
scene
passed
between
us
last
time
we
met
,
Rodion
Romanovitch
.
Our
first
interview
,
too
,
was
a
strange
one
;
but
then
.
.
.
and
one
thing
after
another
!
This
is
the
point
:
I
have
perhaps
acted
unfairly
to
you
;
I
feel
it
.
Do
you
remember
how
we
parted
?
Your
nerves
were
unhinged
and
your
knees
were
shaking
and
so
were
mine
.
And
,
you
know
,
our
behaviour
was
unseemly
,
even
ungentlemanly
.
And
yet
we
are
gentlemen
,
above
all
,
in
any
case
,
gentlemen
;
that
must
be
understood
.
Do
you
remember
what
we
came
to
?
.
.
.
and
it
was
quite
indecorous
.
What
is
he
up
to
,
what
does
he
take
me
for
?
Raskolnikov
asked
himself
in
amazement
,
raising
his
head
and
looking
with
open
eyes
on
Porfiry
.
Отключить рекламу
I
ve
decided
openness
is
better
between
us
,
Porfiry
Petrovitch
went
on
,
turning
his
head
away
and
dropping
his
eyes
,
as
though
unwilling
to
disconcert
his
former
victim
and
as
though
disdaining
his
former
wiles
.
Yes
,
such
suspicions
and
such
scenes
cannot
continue
for
long
.
Nikolay
put
a
stop
to
it
,
or
I
don
t
know
what
we
might
not
have
come
to
.
That
damned
workman
was
sitting
at
the
time
in
the
next
room
can
you
realise
that
?
You
know
that
,
of
course
;
and
I
am
aware
that
he
came
to
you
afterwards
.
But
what
you
supposed
then
was
not
true
:
I
had
not
sent
for
anyone
,
I
had
made
no
kind
of
arrangements
.
You
ask
why
I
hadn
t
?
What
shall
I
say
to
you
?
it
had
all
come
upon
me
so
suddenly
.
I
had
scarcely
sent
for
the
porters
(
you
noticed
them
as
you
went
out
,
I
dare
say
)
.
An
idea
flashed
upon
me
;
I
was
firmly
convinced
at
the
time
,
you
see
,
Rodion
Romanovitch
.
Come
,
I
thought
even
if
I
let
one
thing
slip
for
a
time
,
I
shall
get
hold
of
something
else
I
shan
t
lose
what
I
want
,
anyway
.
You
are
nervously
irritable
,
Rodion
Romanovitch
,
by
temperament
;
it
s
out
of
proportion
with
other
qualities
of
your
heart
and
character
,
which
I
flatter
myself
I
have
to
some
extent
divined
.
Of
course
I
did
reflect
even
then
that
it
does
not
always
happen
that
a
man
gets
up
and
blurts
out
his
whole
story
.
It
does
happen
sometimes
,
if
you
make
a
man
lose
all
patience
,
though
even
then
it
s
rare
.
I
was
capable
of
realising
that
.
If
I
only
had
a
fact
,
I
thought
,
the
least
little
fact
to
go
upon
,
something
I
could
lay
hold
of
,
something
tangible
,
not
merely
psychological
.
For
if
a
man
is
guilty
,
you
must
be
able
to
get
something
substantial
out
of
him
;
one
may
reckon
upon
most
surprising
results
indeed
.
I
was
reckoning
on
your
temperament
,
Rodion
Romanovitch
,
on
your
temperament
above
all
things
!
I
had
great
hopes
of
you
at
that
time
.
But
what
are
you
driving
at
now
?
Raskolnikov
muttered
at
last
,
asking
the
question
without
thinking
.
What
is
he
talking
about
?
he
wondered
distractedly
,
does
he
really
take
me
to
be
innocent
?
Отключить рекламу
What
am
I
driving
at
?
I
ve
come
to
explain
myself
,
I
consider
it
my
duty
,
so
to
speak
.
I
want
to
make
clear
to
you
how
the
whole
business
,
the
whole
misunderstanding
arose
.
I
ve
caused
you
a
great
deal
of
suffering
,
Rodion
Romanovitch
.
I
am
not
a
monster
.
I
understand
what
it
must
mean
for
a
man
who
has
been
unfortunate
,
but
who
is
proud
,
imperious
and
above
all
,
impatient
,
to
have
to
bear
such
treatment
!
I
regard
you
in
any
case
as
a
man
of
noble
character
and
not
without
elements
of
magnanimity
,
though
I
don
t
agree
with
all
your
convictions
.
I
wanted
to
tell
you
this
first
,
frankly
and
quite
sincerely
,
for
above
all
I
don
t
want
to
deceive
you
.
When
I
made
your
acquaintance
,
I
felt
attracted
by
you
.
Perhaps
you
will
laugh
at
my
saying
so
.
You
have
a
right
to
.
I
know
you
disliked
me
from
the
first
and
indeed
you
ve
no
reason
to
like
me
.
You
may
think
what
you
like
,
but
I
desire
now
to
do
all
I
can
to
efface
that
impression
and
to
show
that
I
am
a
man
of
heart
and
conscience
.
I
speak
sincerely
.
Porfiry
Petrovitch
made
a
dignified
pause
.
Raskolnikov
felt
a
rush
of
renewed
alarm
.
The
thought
that
Porfiry
believed
him
to
be
innocent
began
to
make
him
uneasy
.