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"
He
was
dead
?
"
"
They
couldn
’
t
start
him
breathing
.
The
cord
was
caught
around
his
neck
or
something
.
"
"
So
he
’
s
dead
.
"
"
Yes
.
It
’
s
such
a
shame
.
He
was
such
a
fine
big
boy
.
I
thought
you
knew
.
"
"
No
,
"
I
said
.
"
You
better
go
back
in
with
Madame
.
"
I
sat
down
on
the
chair
in
front
of
a
table
where
there
were
nurses
’
reports
hung
on
clips
at
the
side
and
looked
out
of
the
window
.
I
could
see
nothing
but
the
dark
and
the
rain
falling
across
the
light
from
the
window
.
So
that
was
it
.
The
baby
was
dead
.
That
was
why
the
doctor
looked
so
tired
.
But
why
had
they
acted
the
way
they
did
in
the
room
with
him
?
They
supposed
he
would
come
around
and
start
breathing
probably
.
I
had
no
religion
but
I
knew
he
ought
to
have
been
baptized
.
But
what
if
he
never
breathed
at
all
.
He
hadn
’
t
.
He
had
never
been
alive
.
Except
in
Catherine
.
I
’
d
felt
him
kick
there
often
enough
.
But
I
hadn
’
t
for
a
week
.
Maybe
he
was
choked
all
the
time
.
Poor
little
kid
.
I
wished
the
hell
I
’
d
been
choked
like
that
.
No
I
didn
’
t
.
Still
there
would
not
be
all
this
dying
to
go
through
.
Now
Catherine
would
die
.
That
was
what
you
did
.
You
died
.
You
did
not
know
what
it
was
about
.
You
never
had
time
to
learn
.
They
threw
you
in
and
told
you
the
rules
and
the
first
time
they
caught
you
off
base
they
killed
you
.
Or
they
killed
you
gratuitously
like
Aymo
.
Or
gave
you
the
syphilis
like
Rinaldi
.
But
they
killed
you
in
the
end
.
You
could
count
on
that
.
Stay
around
and
they
would
kill
you
.
Once
in
camp
I
put
a
log
on
top
of
the
fire
and
it
was
full
of
ants
.
As
it
commenced
to
burn
,
the
ants
swarmed
out
and
went
first
toward
the
centre
where
the
fire
was
;
then
turned
back
and
ran
toward
the
end
.
When
there
were
enough
on
the
end
they
fell
off
into
the
fire
.
Some
got
out
,
their
bodies
burnt
and
flattened
,
and
went
off
not
knowing
where
they
were
going
.
But
most
of
them
went
toward
the
fire
and
then
back
toward
the
end
and
swarmed
on
the
cool
end
and
finally
fell
off
into
the
fire
.
I
remember
thinking
at
the
time
that
it
was
the
end
of
the
world
and
a
splendid
chance
to
be
a
messiah
and
lift
the
log
off
the
fire
and
throw
it
out
where
the
ants
could
get
off
onto
the
ground
.
But
I
did
not
do
anything
but
throw
a
tin
cup
of
water
on
the
log
,
so
that
I
would
have
the
cup
empty
to
put
whiskey
in
before
I
added
water
to
it
.
I
think
the
cup
of
water
on
the
burning
log
only
steamed
the
ants
.
So
now
I
sat
out
in
the
hall
and
waited
to
hear
how
Catherine
was
.
The
nurse
did
not
come
out
,
so
after
a
while
I
went
to
the
door
and
opened
it
very
softly
and
looked
in
.
I
could
not
see
at
first
because
there
was
a
bright
light
in
the
hall
and
it
was
dark
in
the
room
.
Then
I
saw
the
nurse
sitting
by
the
bed
and
Catherine
’
s
head
on
a
pillow
,
and
she
was
all
flat
under
the
sheet
.
The
nurse
put
her
finger
to
her
lips
,
then
stood
up
and
came
to
the
door
.
