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I
stood
until
it
had
almost
passed
,
then
jumped
and
caught
the
rear
hand
-
rods
and
pulled
up
.
I
crawled
down
between
the
gondola
and
the
shelter
of
the
high
freight
-
car
behind
.
I
did
not
think
any
one
had
seen
me
.
I
was
holding
to
the
hand
-
rods
and
crouching
low
,
my
feet
on
the
coupling
.
We
were
almost
opposite
the
bridge
.
I
remembered
the
guard
.
As
we
passed
him
he
looked
at
me
.
He
was
a
boy
and
his
helmet
was
too
big
for
him
.
I
stared
at
him
contemptuously
and
he
looked
away
.
He
thought
I
had
something
to
do
with
the
train
.
We
were
past
.
I
saw
him
still
looking
uncomfortable
,
watching
the
other
cars
pass
and
I
stooped
to
see
how
the
canvas
was
fastened
.
It
had
grummets
and
was
laced
down
at
the
edge
with
cord
.
I
took
out
my
knife
,
cut
the
cord
and
put
my
arm
under
.
There
were
hard
bulges
under
the
canvas
that
tightened
in
the
rain
.
I
looked
up
and
ahead
.
There
was
a
guard
on
the
freight
-
car
ahead
but
he
was
looking
forward
.
I
let
go
of
the
hand
-
rails
and
ducked
under
the
canvas
.
My
forehead
hit
something
that
gave
me
a
violent
bump
and
I
felt
blood
on
my
face
but
I
crawled
on
in
and
lay
flat
.
Then
I
turned
around
and
fastened
down
the
canvas
.
I
was
in
under
the
canvas
with
guns
.
They
smelled
cleanly
of
oil
and
grease
.
I
lay
and
listened
to
the
rain
on
the
canvas
and
the
clicking
of
the
car
over
the
rails
.
There
was
a
little
light
came
through
and
I
lay
and
looked
at
the
guns
.
They
had
their
canvas
jackets
on
.
I
thought
they
must
have
been
sent
ahead
from
the
third
army
The
bump
on
my
forehead
was
swollen
and
I
stopped
the
bleeding
by
lying
still
and
letting
it
coagulate
,
then
picked
away
the
dried
blood
except
over
the
cut
.
It
was
nothing
.
I
had
no
handkerchief
,
but
feeling
with
my
fingers
I
washed
away
where
the
dried
blood
had
been
,
with
rainwater
that
dripped
from
the
canvas
,
and
wiped
it
clean
with
the
sleeve
of
my
coat
.
I
did
not
want
to
look
conspicuous
.
I
knew
I
would
have
to
get
out
before
they
got
to
Mestre
because
they
would
be
taking
care
of
these
guns
.
They
had
no
guns
to
lose
or
forget
about
.
I
was
terrifically
hungry
.
Lying
on
the
floor
of
the
flat
-
car
with
the
guns
beside
me
under
the
canvas
I
was
wet
,
cold
and
very
hungry
.
Finally
I
rolled
over
and
lay
flat
on
my
stomach
with
my
head
on
my
arms
.
My
knee
was
stiff
,
but
it
had
been
very
satisfactory
.
Valentini
had
done
a
fine
job
.
I
had
done
half
the
retreat
on
foot
and
swum
part
of
the
Tagliamento
with
his
knee
.
It
was
his
knee
all
right
.
The
other
knee
was
mine
.
Doctors
did
things
to
you
and
then
it
was
not
your
body
any
more
.
The
head
was
mine
,
and
the
inside
of
the
belly
.
It
was
very
hungry
in
there
.
I
could
feel
it
turn
over
on
itself
.
The
head
was
mine
,
but
not
to
use
,
not
to
think
with
,
only
to
remember
and
not
too
much
remember
.
I
could
remember
Catherine
but
I
knew
I
would
get
crazy
if
I
thought
about
her
when
I
was
not
sure
yet
I
would
see
her
,
so
I
would
not
think
about
her
,
only
about
her
a
little
,
only
about
her
with
the
car
going
slowly
and
clickingly
,
and
some
light
through
the
canvas
and
my
lying
with
Catherine
on
the
floor
of
the
car
.
Hard
as
the
floor
of
the
car
to
lie
not
thinking
only
feeling
,
having
been
away
too
long
,
the
clothes
wet
and
the
floor
moving
only
a
little
each
time
and
lonesome
inside
and
alone
with
wet
clothing
and
hard
floor
for
a
wife
.
You
did
not
love
the
floor
of
a
flat
-
car
nor
guns
with
canvas
jackets
and
the
smell
of
vaselined
metal
or
a
canvas
that
rain
leaked
through
,
although
it
is
very
fine
under
a
canvas
and
pleasant
with
guns
;
but
you
loved
some
one
else
whom
now
you
knew
was
not
even
to
be
pretended
there
;
you
seeing
now
very
clearly
and
coldly
—
not
so
coldly
as
clearly
and
emptily
.
You
saw
emptily
,
lying
on
your
stomach
,
having
been
present
when
one
army
moved
back
and
another
came
forward
.
You
had
lost
your
cars
and
your
men
as
a
floorwalker
loses
the
stock
of
his
department
in
a
fire
.
There
was
,
however
,
no
insurance
.
You
were
out
of
it
now
.
You
had
no
more
obligation
.
If
they
shot
floorwalkers
after
a
fire
in
the
department
store
because
they
spoke
with
an
accent
they
had
always
had
,
then
certainly
the
floorwalkers
would
not
be
expected
to
return
when
the
store
opened
again
for
business
.
They
might
seek
other
employment
;
if
there
was
any
other
employment
and
the
police
did
not
get
them
.
Anger
was
washed
away
in
the
river
along
with
any
obligation
.
Although
that
ceased
when
the
carabiniere
put
his
hands
on
my
collar
.
I
would
like
to
have
had
the
uniform
off
although
I
did
not
care
much
about
the
outward
forms
.
I
had
taken
off
the
stars
,
but
that
was
for
convenience
.
It
was
no
point
of
honor
.
I
was
not
against
them
.
I
was
through
.
I
wished
them
all
the
luck
.
There
were
the
good
ones
,
and
the
brave
ones
,
and
the
calm
ones
and
the
sensible
ones
,
and
they
deserved
it
.
But
it
was
not
my
show
any
more
and
I
wished
this
bloody
train
would
get
to
Mestre
and
I
would
eat
and
stop
thinking
.
I
would
have
to
stop
.
Piani
would
tell
them
they
had
shot
me
.
They
went
through
the
pockets
and
took
the
papers
of
the
people
they
shot
.
They
would
not
have
my
papers
.
They
might
call
me
drowned
.
I
wondered
what
they
would
hear
in
the
States
.
Dead
from
wounds
and
other
causes
.
Good
Christ
I
was
hungry
.
I
wondered
what
had
become
of
the
priest
at
the
mess
.
And
Rinaldi
