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- Ешь, молись, люби
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In
Italian
there
is
a
seldom
-
used
tense
called
the
passato
remoto
,
the
remote
past
.
You
use
this
tense
when
you
are
discussing
things
in
the
far
,
far
distant
past
,
things
that
happened
so
long
ago
they
have
no
personal
impact
whatsoever
on
you
anymore
-
for
example
,
ancient
history
But
my
sister
,
if
she
spoke
Italian
,
would
not
use
this
tense
to
discuss
ancient
history
.
In
her
world
,
the
Roman
Forum
is
not
remote
,
nor
is
it
past
.
It
is
exactly
as
present
and
close
to
her
as
I
am
.
She
leaves
the
next
day
.
"
Listen
,
"
I
say
,
"
be
sure
to
call
me
when
your
plane
lands
safely
,
OK
?
Not
to
be
morbid
,
but
…
"
"
I
know
,
sweetie
,
"
she
says
.
"
I
love
you
,
too
.
"
I
am
so
surprised
sometimes
to
notice
that
my
sister
is
a
wife
and
a
mother
,
and
I
am
not
.
Somehow
I
always
thought
it
would
be
the
opposite
.
I
thought
it
would
be
me
who
would
end
up
with
a
houseful
of
muddy
boots
and
hollering
kids
,
while
Catherine
would
be
living
by
herself
,
a
solo
act
,
reading
alone
at
night
in
her
bed
.
We
grew
up
into
different
adults
than
anyone
might
have
foretold
when
we
were
children
.
It
’
s
better
this
way
,
though
,
I
think
.
Against
all
predictions
,
we
’
ve
each
created
lives
that
tally
with
us
.
Her
solitary
nature
means
she
needs
a
family
to
keep
her
from
loneliness
;
my
gregarious
nature
means
I
will
never
have
to
worry
about
being
alone
,
even
when
I
am
single
.
I
’
m
happy
that
she
’
s
going
back
home
to
her
family
and
also
happy
that
I
have
another
nine
months
of
traveling
ahead
of
me
,
where
all
I
have
to
do
is
eat
and
read
and
pray
and
write
.
I
still
can
’
t
say
whether
I
will
ever
want
children
.
I
was
so
astonished
to
find
that
I
did
not
want
them
at
thirty
;
the
remembrance
of
that
surprise
cautions
me
against
placing
any
bets
on
how
I
will
feel
at
forty
.
I
can
only
say
how
I
feel
now
-
grateful
to
be
on
my
own
.
I
also
know
that
I
won
’
t
go
forth
and
have
children
just
in
case
I
might
regret
missing
it
later
in
life
;
I
don
’
t
think
this
is
a
strong
enough
motivation
to
bring
more
babies
onto
the
earth
.
Though
I
suppose
people
do
reproduce
sometimes
for
that
reason
-
for
insurance
against
later
regret
.
I
think
people
have
children
for
all
manner
of
reasons
-
sometimes
out
of
a
pure
desire
to
nurture
and
witness
life
,
sometimes
out
of
an
absence
of
choice
,
sometimes
in
order
to
hold
on
to
a
partner
or
create
an
heir
,
sometimes
without
thinking
about
it
in
any
particular
way
.
Not
all
the
reasons
to
have
children
are
the
same
,
and
not
all
of
them
are
necessarily
unselfish
.
Not
all
the
reasons
not
to
have
children
are
the
same
,
either
,
though
.
Nor
are
all
those
reasons
necessarily
selfish
.
I
say
this
because
I
’
m
still
working
out
that
accusation
,
which
was
leveled
against
me
many
times
by
my
husband
as
our
marriage
was
collapsing
-
selfishness
.
Every
time
he
said
it
,
I
agreed
completely
,
accepted
the
guilt
,
bought
everything
in
the
store
.
My
God
,
I
hadn
’
t
even
had
the
babies
yet
,
and
I
was
already
neglecting
them
,
already
choosing
myself
over
them
.
I
was
already
a
bad
mother
.
These
babies
-
these
phantom
babies
-
came
up
a
lot
in
our
arguments
.
Who
would
take
care
of
the
babies
?
Who
would
stay
home
with
the
babies
?
Who
would
financially
support
the
babies
?
Who
would
feed
the
babies
in
the
middle
of
the
night
?
I
remember
saying
once
to
my
friend
Susan
,
when
my
marriage
was
becoming
intolerable
,
"
I
don
’
t
want
my
children
growing
up
in
a
household
like
this
.
"
Susan
said
,
"
Why
don
’
t
you
leave
those
so
-
called
children
out
of
the
discussion
?
They
don
’
t
even
exist
yet
,
Liz
.
Why
can
’
t
you
just
admit
that
you
don
’
t
want
to
live
in
unhappiness
anymore
?
That
neither
of
you
does
.
And
it
’
s
better
to
realize
it
now
,
by
the
way
,
than
in
the
delivery
room
when
you
’
re
at
five
centimeters
.
"
