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- Ешь, молись, люби
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Actually
,
that
’
s
not
true
.
One
person
talked
to
me
,
every
day
.
It
was
this
little
kid
,
one
of
a
gang
of
kids
who
run
up
and
down
the
beaches
trying
to
sell
fresh
fruit
to
the
tourists
.
This
boy
was
maybe
nine
years
old
,
and
seemed
to
be
the
ringleader
.
He
was
tough
,
scrappy
and
I
would
have
called
him
street
-
smart
if
his
island
actually
had
any
streets
.
He
was
beach
-
smart
,
I
suppose
.
Somehow
he
’
d
learned
great
English
,
probably
from
harassing
sunbathing
Westerners
.
And
he
was
on
to
me
,
this
kid
.
Nobody
else
asked
me
who
I
was
,
nobody
else
bothered
me
,
but
this
relentless
child
would
come
and
sit
next
to
me
on
the
beach
at
some
point
every
day
and
demand
,
"
Why
don
’
t
you
ever
talk
?
Why
are
you
strange
like
this
?
Don
’
t
pretend
you
can
’
t
hear
me
-
I
know
you
can
hear
me
.
Why
are
you
always
alone
?
Why
don
’
t
you
ever
go
swimming
?
Where
is
your
boyfriend
?
Why
don
’
t
you
have
a
husband
?
What
’
s
wrong
with
you
?
"
I
was
like
,
Back
off
,
kid
!
What
are
you
-
a
transcript
of
my
most
evil
thoughts
?
Every
day
I
would
try
to
smile
at
him
kindly
and
send
him
away
with
a
polite
gesture
,
but
he
wouldn
’
t
quit
until
he
got
a
rise
out
me
.
And
inevitably
,
he
always
got
a
rise
out
of
me
.
I
remember
bursting
out
at
him
once
,
"
I
’
m
not
talking
because
I
’
m
on
a
friggin
’
spiritual
journey
,
you
nasty
little
punk
-
now
go
AWAY
!
"
He
ran
away
laughing
.
Every
day
,
after
he
’
d
gotten
me
to
respond
,
he
would
always
run
away
laughing
.
I
’
d
usually
end
up
laughing
,
too
,
once
he
was
out
of
sight
.
I
dreaded
this
pesky
kid
and
looked
forward
to
him
in
equal
measure
.
He
was
my
only
comedic
break
during
a
really
tough
ride
.
Saint
Anthony
once
wrote
about
having
gone
into
the
desert
on
silent
retreat
and
being
assaulted
by
all
manner
of
visions
-
devils
and
angels
,
both
.
He
said
,
in
his
solitude
,
he
sometimes
encountered
devils
who
looked
like
angels
,
and
other
times
he
found
angels
who
looked
like
devils
.
When
asked
how
he
could
tell
the
difference
,
the
saint
said
that
you
can
only
tell
which
is
which
by
the
way
you
feel
after
the
creature
has
left
your
company
.
If
you
are
appalled
,
he
said
,
then
it
was
a
devil
who
had
visited
you
.
If
you
feel
lightened
,
it
was
an
angel
.
I
think
I
know
what
that
little
punk
was
,
who
always
got
a
laugh
out
of
me
.
On
my
ninth
day
of
silence
,
I
went
into
meditation
one
evening
on
the
beach
as
the
sun
was
going
down
and
I
didn
’
t
stand
up
again
until
after
midnight
.
I
remember
thinking
,
"
This
is
it
,
Liz
.
"
I
said
to
my
mind
,
"
This
is
your
chance
.
Show
me
everything
that
is
causing
you
sorrow
.
Let
me
see
all
of
it
.
Don
’
t
hold
anything
back
.
"
One
by
one
,
the
thoughts
and
memories
of
sadness
raised
their
hands
,
stood
up
to
identify
themselves
.
I
looked
at
each
thought
,
at
each
unit
of
sorrow
,
and
I
acknowledged
its
existence
and
felt
(
without
trying
to
protect
myself
from
it
)
its
horrible
pain
.
And
then
I
would
tell
that
sorrow
,
"
It
’
s
OK
.
I
love
you
.
I
accept
you
.
Come
into
my
heart
now
.
It
’
s
over
.
"
I
would
actually
feel
the
sorrow
(
as
if
it
were
a
living
thing
)
enter
my
heart
(
as
if
it
were
an
actual
room
)
.
Then
I
would
say
,
"
Next
?
"
and
the
next
bit
of
grief
would
surface
.
I
would
regard
it
,
experience
it
,
bless
it
,
and
invite
it
into
my
heart
,
too
.
I
did
this
with
every
sorrowful
thought
I
’
d
ever
had
-
reaching
back
into
years
of
memory
-
until
nothing
was
left
.
Then
I
said
to
my
mind
,
"
Show
me
your
anger
now
.
"
One
by
one
,
my
life
’
s
every
incident
of
anger
rose
and
made
itself
known
.
Every
injustice
,
every
betrayal
,
every
loss
,
every
rage
.
I
saw
them
all
,
one
by
one
,
and
I
acknowledged
their
existence
.
I
felt
each
piece
of
anger
completely
,
as
if
it
were
happening
for
the
first
time
,
and
then
I
would
say
,
"
Come
into
my
heart
now
.
You
can
rest
there
.
It
’
s
safe
now
.
It
’
s
over
.
I
love
you
.
"
This
went
on
for
hours
,
and
I
swung
between
these
mighty
poles
of
opposite
feelings
-
experiencing
the
anger
thoroughly
for
one
bone
-
rattling
moment
,
and
then
experiencing
a
total
coolness
,
as
the
anger
entered
my
heart
as
if
through
a
door
,
laid
itself
down
,
curled
up
against
its
brothers
and
gave
up
fighting
.
