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Ah
.
That
’
s
when
suddenly
I
go
deaf
and
the
birds
stop
singing
and
I
can
see
Wayan
’
s
mouth
moving
but
I
’
m
not
listening
to
her
anymore
because
a
thought
has
just
come
,
scrawled
blatantly
across
my
mind
:
SHE
’
S
FUCKING
WITH
YOU
,
GROCERIES
.
I
stand
up
,
say
good
-
bye
to
Wayan
,
walk
home
slowly
and
ask
Felipe
point
-
blank
for
his
opinion
:
"
Is
she
fucking
with
me
?
"
He
has
not
ever
commented
upon
my
business
with
Wayan
,
not
once
.
"
Darling
,
"
he
says
kindly
.
"
Of
course
she
’
s
fucking
with
you
.
"
My
heart
drops
into
my
guts
with
a
splat
.
"
But
not
intentionally
,
"
he
adds
quickly
.
"
You
need
to
understand
the
thinking
in
Bali
.
It
’
s
a
way
of
life
here
for
people
to
try
to
get
the
most
money
they
can
out
of
visitors
.
It
’
s
how
everyone
survives
.
So
she
’
s
making
up
some
stories
now
about
the
farmer
.
Darling
,
since
when
does
a
Balinese
man
need
to
talk
to
his
wife
before
he
can
make
a
business
deal
?
Listen
-
the
guy
is
desperate
to
sell
her
a
small
parcel
;
he
already
said
he
would
.
But
she
wants
the
whole
thing
now
.
And
she
wants
you
to
buy
it
for
her
.
"
I
cringe
at
this
for
two
reasons
.
First
of
all
,
I
hate
to
think
this
could
be
true
of
Wayan
.
Second
,
I
hate
the
cultural
implications
under
his
speech
,
the
whiff
of
colonial
White
Man
’
s
Burden
stuff
,
the
patronizing
"
this
-
is
-
what
-
all
-
these
-
people
-
are
-
like
"
argument
.
But
Felipe
isn
’
t
a
colonialist
;
he
’
s
a
Brazilian
.
He
explains
,
"
Listen
,
I
grew
up
poor
in
South
America
.
You
think
I
don
’
t
understand
the
culture
of
this
kind
of
poverty
?
You
’
ve
given
Wayan
more
money
than
she
’
s
ever
seen
in
her
life
and
now
she
’
s
thinking
crazy
.
As
far
as
she
’
s
concerned
,
you
’
re
her
miracle
benefactor
and
this
might
be
her
last
chance
to
ever
get
a
break
.
So
she
wants
to
get
all
she
can
before
you
go
.
For
God
’
s
sake
-
four
months
ago
the
poor
woman
didn
’
t
have
enough
money
to
buy
lunch
for
her
child
and
now
she
wants
a
hotel
?
"
