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- Элизабет Гилберт
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- Ешь, молись, люби
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I
was
immediately
ashamed
of
myself
for
my
vanity
,
for
having
assumed
that
he
wanted
me
to
stay
with
him
forever
so
that
he
could
indulge
my
whims
till
the
end
of
time
.
"
I
’
m
sorry
,
"
I
said
.
"
That
was
a
little
arrogant
,
wasn
’
t
it
?
"
"
A
little
,
"
he
acknowledged
,
then
kissed
my
ear
.
"
But
not
so
much
,
really
.
Darling
,
of
course
it
’
s
something
we
have
to
discuss
because
here
’
s
the
truth
-
I
’
m
wildly
in
love
with
you
.
"
I
blanched
in
reflex
,
and
he
made
a
quick
joke
,
trying
to
be
reassuring
:
"
I
mean
that
in
a
completely
hypothetical
way
,
of
course
.
"
But
then
he
said
in
all
seriousness
,
"
Look
,
I
’
m
fifty
-
two
years
old
.
Believe
me
,
I
already
know
how
the
world
works
.
I
recognize
that
you
don
’
t
love
me
yet
the
way
I
love
you
,
but
the
truth
is
that
I
don
’
t
really
care
.
For
some
reason
,
I
feel
the
same
way
about
you
that
I
felt
about
my
kids
when
they
were
small
-
that
it
wasn
’
t
their
job
to
love
me
,
it
was
my
job
to
love
them
.
You
can
decide
to
feel
however
you
want
to
,
but
I
love
you
and
I
will
always
love
you
.
Even
if
we
never
see
each
other
again
,
you
already
brought
me
back
to
life
,
and
that
’
s
a
lot
.
And
of
course
,
I
’
d
like
to
share
my
life
with
you
.
The
only
problem
is
,
I
’
m
not
sure
how
much
of
a
life
I
can
offer
you
in
Bali
.
"
This
is
a
concern
I
’
ve
had
,
too
.
I
’
ve
been
watching
the
expatriate
society
in
Ubud
,
and
I
know
for
a
stone
-
cold
fact
this
is
not
the
life
for
me
.
Everywhere
in
this
town
you
see
the
same
kind
of
character
-
Westerners
who
have
been
so
ill
-
treated
and
badly
worn
by
life
that
they
’
ve
dropped
the
whole
struggle
and
decided
to
camp
out
here
in
Bali
indefinitely
,
where
they
can
live
in
a
gorgeous
house
for
$
200
a
month
,
perhaps
taking
a
young
Balinese
man
or
woman
as
a
companion
,
where
they
can
drink
before
noon
without
getting
any
static
about
it
,
where
they
can
make
a
bit
of
money
exporting
a
bit
of
furniture
for
somebody
.
But
generally
,
all
they
are
doing
here
is
seeing
to
it
that
nothing
serious
will
ever
be
asked
of
them
again
.
These
are
not
bums
,
mind
you
.
This
is
a
very
high
grade
of
people
,
multinational
,
talented
and
clever
.
But
it
seems
to
me
that
everyone
I
meet
here
used
to
be
something
once
(
generally
"
married
"
or
"
employed
"
)
;
now
they
are
all
united
by
the
absence
of
the
one
thing
they
seem
to
have
surrendered
completely
and
forever
:
ambition
.
Needless
to
say
,
there
’
s
a
lot
of
drinking
.
Of
course
,
the
precious
Balinese
town
of
Ubud
is
not
such
a
bad
place
to
putter
away
your
life
,
ignoring
the
passing
of
the
days
.
I
suppose
in
that
way
it
’
s
similar
to
places
like
Key
West
,
Florida
,
or
Oaxaca
,
Mexico
.
Most
expats
in
Ubud
,
when
you
ask
them
how
long
they
’
ve
lived
here
,
aren
’
t
really
sure
.
For
one
thing
,
they
aren
’
t
really
sure
how
much
time
has
passed
since
they
moved
to
Bali
.
But
for
another
thing
,
it
’
s
like
they
aren
’
t
really
sure
if
they
do
live
here
.
They
belong
to
nowhere
,
unanchored
.
Some
of
them
like
to
imagine
that
they
’
re
just
hanging
out
for
a
while
,
just
running
the
engine
on
idle
at
the
traffic
light
,
waiting
for
the
signal
to
change
.
But
after
seventeen
years
of
that
you
start
to
wonder
…
does
anybody
ever
leave
?
There
is
much
to
enjoy
in
their
lazy
company
,
in
these
long
Sunday
afternoons
spent
at
brunch
,
drinking
champagne
and
talking
about
nothing
.
Still
,
when
I
am
around
this
scene
,
I
feel
somewhat
like
Dorothy
in
the
poppy
fields
of
Oz
.
Be
careful
!
Don
’
t
fall
asleep
in
this
narcotic
meadow
,
or
you
could
doze
away
the
rest
of
your
life
here
!
So
what
will
become
of
me
and
Felipe
?
Now
that
there
is
,
it
seems
,
a
"
me
and
Felipe
"
?
He
told
me
not
long
ago
,
"
Sometimes
I
wish
you
were
a
lost
little
girl
and
I
could
scoop
you
up
and
say
,
’
Come
and
live
with
me
now
,
let
me
take
care
of
you
forever
.
’
But
you
aren
’
t
a
lost
little
girl
.
You
’
re
a
woman
with
a
career
,
with
ambition
.
You
are
a
perfect
snail
:
you
carry
your
home
on
your
back
.
You
should
hold
on
to
that
freedom
for
as
long
as
possible
.
But
all
I
’
m
saying
is
this
-
if
you
want
this
Brazilian
man
,
you
can
have
him
.
I
’
m
yours
already
.
"
I
’
m
not
sure
what
I
want
.
I
do
know
that
there
’
s
a
part
of
me
which
has
always
wanted
to
hear
a
man
say
,
"
Let
me
take
care
of
you
forever
,
"
and
I
have
never
heard
it
spoken
before
.
Over
the
last
few
years
,
I
’
d
given
up
looking
for
that
person
,
learned
how
to
say
this
heartening
sentence
to
myself
,
especially
in
times
of
fear
.
