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Eat
,
Pray
,
Love
I
wish
Giovanni
would
kiss
me
.
Oh
,
but
there
are
so
many
reasons
why
this
would
be
a
terrible
idea
.
To
begin
with
,
Giovanni
is
ten
years
younger
than
I
am
,
and
-
like
most
Italian
guys
in
their
twenties
-
he
still
lives
with
his
mother
.
These
facts
alone
make
him
an
unlikely
romantic
partner
for
me
,
given
that
I
am
a
professional
American
woman
in
my
mid
-
thirties
,
who
has
just
come
through
a
failed
marriage
and
a
devastating
,
interminable
divorce
,
followed
immediately
by
a
passionate
love
affair
that
ended
in
sickening
heartbreak
.
This
loss
upon
loss
has
left
me
feeling
sad
and
brittle
and
about
seven
thousand
years
old
.
Purely
as
a
matter
of
principle
I
wouldn
’
t
inflict
my
sorry
,
busted
-
up
old
self
on
the
lovely
,
unsullied
Giovanni
.
Not
to
mention
that
I
have
finally
arrived
at
that
age
where
a
woman
starts
to
question
whether
the
wisest
way
to
get
over
the
loss
of
one
beautiful
brown
-
eyed
young
man
is
indeed
to
promptly
invite
another
one
into
her
bed
.
This
is
why
I
have
been
alone
for
many
months
now
.
This
is
why
,
in
fact
,
I
have
decided
to
spend
this
entire
year
in
celibacy
.
To
which
the
savvy
observer
might
inquire
:
"
Then
why
did
you
come
to
Italy
?
"
To
which
I
can
only
reply
-
especially
when
looking
across
the
table
at
handsome
Giovanni
-
"
Excellent
question
.
"
Giovanni
is
my
Tandem
Exchange
Partner
.
That
sounds
like
an
innuendo
,
but
unfortunately
it
’
s
not
.
All
it
really
means
is
that
we
meet
a
few
evenings
a
week
here
in
Rome
to
practice
each
other
’
s
languages
.
We
speak
first
in
Italian
,
and
he
is
patient
with
me
;
then
we
speak
in
English
,
and
I
am
patient
with
him
.
I
discovered
Giovanni
a
few
weeks
after
I
’
d
arrived
in
Rome
,
thanks
to
that
big
Internet
cafe
at
the
Piazza
Barbarini
,
across
the
street
from
that
fountain
with
the
sculpture
of
that
sexy
merman
blowing
into
his
conch
shell
.
He
(
Giovanni
,
that
is
-
not
the
merman
)
had
posted
a
flier
on
the
bulletin
board
explaining
that
a
native
Italian
speaker
was
seeking
a
native
English
speaker
for
conversational
language
practice
.
Right
beside
his
appeal
was
another
flier
with
the
same
request
,
word
-
for
-
word
identical
in
every
way
,
right
down
to
the
typeface
.
The
only
difference
was
the
contact
information
.
One
flier
listed
an
e
-
mail
address
for
somebody
named
Giovanni
;
the
other
introduced
somebody
named
Dario
.
But
even
the
home
phone
number
was
the
same
.
Using
my
keen
intuitive
powers
,
I
e
-
mailed
both
men
at
the
same
time
,
asking
in
Italian
,
"
Are
you
perhaps
brothers
?
"
It
was
Giovanni
who
wrote
back
this
very
provocativo
message
:
"
Even
better
.
Twins
!
"
Yes
-
much
better
.
Tall
,
dark
and
handsome
identical
twenty
-
five
-
year
-
old
twins
,
as
it
turned
out
,
with
those
giant
brown
liquid
-
center
Italian
eyes
that
just
unstitch
me
.
After
meeting
the
boys
in
person
,
I
began
to
wonder
if
perhaps
I
should
adjust
my
rule
somewhat
about
remaining
celibate
this
year
.
For
instance
,
perhaps
I
could
remain
totally
celibate
except
for
keeping
a
pair
of
handsome
twenty
-
five
-
year
-
old
Italian
twin
brothers
as
lovers
.
