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The
void
was
a
place
of
limitless
peace
and
wisdom
.
The
void
was
conscious
and
it
was
intelligent
.
The
void
was
God
,
which
means
that
I
was
inside
God
.
But
not
in
a
gross
,
physical
way
-
not
like
I
was
Liz
Gilbert
stuck
inside
a
chunk
of
God
’
s
thigh
muscle
.
I
just
was
part
of
God
.
In
addition
to
being
God
.
I
was
both
a
tiny
piece
of
the
universe
and
exactly
the
same
size
as
the
universe
.
(
"
All
know
that
the
drop
merges
into
the
ocean
,
but
few
know
that
the
ocean
merges
into
the
drop
,
"
wrote
the
sage
Kabir
-
and
I
can
personally
attest
now
that
this
is
true
.
)
It
wasn
’
t
hallucinogenic
,
what
I
was
feeling
.
It
was
the
most
basic
of
events
.
It
was
heaven
,
yes
.
It
was
the
deepest
love
I
’
d
ever
experienced
,
beyond
anything
I
could
have
previously
imagined
,
but
it
wasn
’
t
euphoric
.
It
wasn
’
t
exciting
.
There
wasn
’
t
enough
ego
or
passion
left
in
me
to
create
euphoria
and
excitement
.
It
was
just
obvious
.
Like
when
you
’
ve
been
looking
at
an
optical
illusion
for
a
long
time
,
straining
your
eyes
to
decode
the
trick
,
and
suddenly
your
cognizance
shifts
and
there
-
now
you
can
clearly
see
it
!
-
the
two
vases
are
actually
two
faces
.
And
once
you
’
ve
seen
through
the
optical
illusion
,
you
can
never
not
see
it
again
.
"
So
this
is
God
,
"
I
thought
.
"
Congratulations
to
meet
you
.
"
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The
place
in
which
I
was
standing
can
’
t
be
described
like
an
earthly
location
.
It
was
neither
dark
nor
light
,
neither
big
nor
small
.
Nor
was
it
a
place
,
nor
was
I
technically
standing
there
,
nor
was
I
exactly
"
I
"
anymore
.
I
still
had
my
thoughts
,
but
they
were
so
modest
,
quiet
and
observatory
.
Not
only
did
I
feel
unhesitating
compassion
and
unity
with
everything
and
everybody
,
it
was
vaguely
and
amusingly
strange
for
me
to
wonder
how
anybody
could
ever
feel
anything
but
that
.
I
also
felt
mildly
charmed
by
all
my
old
ideas
about
who
I
am
and
what
I
’
m
like
.
I
’
m
a
woman
,
I
come
from
America
,
I
’
m
talkative
,
I
’
m
a
writer
-
all
this
felt
so
cute
and
obsolete
.
Imagine
cramming
yourself
into
such
a
puny
box
of
identity
when
you
could
experience
your
infinitude
instead
.
I
wondered
,
"
Why
have
I
been
chasing
happiness
my
whole
life
when
bliss
was
here
the
entire
time
?
"
I
don
’
t
know
how
long
I
hovered
in
this
magnificent
ether
of
union
before
I
had
a
sudden
urgent
thought
:
"
I
want
to
hold
on
to
this
experience
forever
!
"
And
that
’
s
when
I
started
to
tumble
out
of
it
.
Just
those
two
little
words
-
I
want
!
-
and
I
began
to
slide
back
to
earth
.
Then
my
mind
started
to
really
protest
-
No
!
I
don
’
t
want
to
leave
here
!
-
and
I
slid
further
still
.
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I
want
!
I
don
’
t
want
!
I
want
!