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Her
heart
leaped
up
to
her
throat
.
“
Then
why
are
you
here
today
?
”
He
turned
on
her
with
a
quick
look
of
wonder
.
“
God
knows
—
if
you
can
ask
me
that
!
”
“
You
see
I
was
right
to
say
I
didn
’
t
understand
.
”
He
stood
up
abruptly
and
stood
facing
her
,
blocking
the
view
over
the
river
and
the
checkered
slopes
.
“
Perhaps
I
might
say
so
too
.
”
“
No
,
no
:
we
must
neither
of
us
have
any
reason
for
saying
it
again
.
”
She
looked
at
him
gravely
.
“
Surely
you
and
I
needn
’
t
arrange
the
lights
before
we
show
ourselves
to
each
other
.
I
want
you
to
see
me
just
as
I
am
,
with
all
my
irrational
doubts
and
scruples
;
the
old
ones
and
the
new
ones
too
.
”
He
came
back
to
his
seat
beside
her
.
“
Never
mind
the
old
ones
.
They
were
justified
—
I
’
m
willing
to
admit
it
.
With
the
governess
having
suddenly
to
be
packed
off
,
and
Effie
on
your
hands
,
and
your
mother
-
in
-
law
ill
,
I
see
the
impossibility
of
your
letting
me
come
.
I
even
see
that
,
at
the
moment
,
it
was
difficult
to
write
and
explain
.
But
what
does
all
that
matter
now
?
The
new
scruples
are
the
ones
I
want
to
tackle
.
”
Again
her
heart
trembled
.
She
felt
her
happiness
so
near
,
so
sure
,
that
to
strain
it
closer
might
be
like
a
child
’
s
crushing
a
pet
bird
in
its
caress
.
But
her
very
security
urged
her
on
.
For
so
long
her
doubts
had
been
knife
-
edged
:
now
they
had
turned
into
bright
harmless
toys
that
she
could
toss
and
catch
without
peril
!
“
You
didn
’
t
come
,
and
you
didn
’
t
answer
my
letter
;
and
after
waiting
four
months
I
wrote
another
.
”
“
And
I
answered
that
one
;
and
I
’
m
here
.
”
“
Yes
.
”
She
held
his
eyes
.
“
But
in
my
last
letter
I
repeated
exactly
what
I
’
d
said
in
the
first
—
the
one
I
wrote
you
last
June
.
I
told
you
then
that
I
was
ready
to
give
you
the
answer
to
what
you
’
d
asked
me
in
London
;
and
in
telling
you
that
,
I
told
you
what
the
answer
was
.
”
