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For
my
own
part
,
I
soon
found
a
dislike
to
it
arising
within
me
.
This
was
just
the
reverse
of
what
I
had
anticipated
;
but
I
know
not
how
or
why
it
was
--
its
evident
fondness
for
myself
rather
disgusted
and
annoyed
.
By
slow
degrees
,
these
feelings
of
disgust
and
annoyance
rose
into
the
bitterness
of
hatred
.
I
avoided
the
creature
;
a
certain
sense
of
shame
,
and
the
remembrance
of
my
former
deed
of
cruelty
,
preventing
me
from
physically
abusing
it
.
I
did
not
,
for
some
weeks
,
strike
,
or
otherwise
violently
ill
use
it
;
but
gradually
--
very
gradually
--
I
came
to
look
upon
it
with
unutterable
loathing
,
and
to
flee
silently
from
its
odious
presence
,
as
from
the
breath
of
a
pestilence
.
What
added
,
no
doubt
,
to
my
hatred
of
the
beast
,
was
the
discovery
,
on
the
morning
after
I
brought
it
home
,
that
,
like
Pluto
,
it
also
had
been
deprived
of
one
of
its
eyes
.
This
circumstance
,
however
,
only
endeared
it
to
my
wife
,
who
,
as
I
have
already
said
,
possessed
,
in
a
high
degree
,
that
humanity
of
feeling
which
had
once
been
my
distinguishing
trait
,
and
the
source
of
many
of
my
simplest
and
purest
pleasures
.
With
my
aversion
to
this
cat
,
however
,
its
partiality
for
myself
seemed
to
increase
.
It
followed
my
footsteps
with
a
pertinacity
which
it
would
be
difficult
to
make
the
reader
comprehend
.
Whenever
I
sat
,
it
would
crouch
beneath
my
chair
,
or
spring
upon
my
knees
,
covering
me
with
its
loathsome
caresses
.
If
I
arose
to
walk
it
would
get
between
my
feet
and
thus
nearly
throw
me
down
,
or
,
fastening
its
long
and
sharp
claws
in
my
dress
,
clamber
,
in
this
manner
,
to
my
breast
.
At
such
times
,
although
I
longed
to
destroy
it
with
a
blow
,
I
was
yet
withheld
from
so
doing
,
partly
it
at
by
a
memory
of
my
former
crime
,
but
chiefly
--
let
me
confess
it
at
once
--
by
absolute
dread
of
the
beast
.
This
dread
was
not
exactly
a
dread
of
physical
evil
--
and
yet
I
should
be
at
a
loss
how
otherwise
to
define
it
.
I
am
almost
ashamed
to
own
--
yes
,
even
in
this
felon
's
cell
,
I
am
almost
ashamed
to
own
--
that
the
terror
and
horror
with
which
the
animal
inspired
me
,
had
been
heightened
by
one
of
the
merest
chimaeras
it
would
be
possible
to
conceive
.
My
wife
had
called
my
attention
,
more
than
once
,
to
the
character
of
the
mark
of
white
hair
,
of
which
I
have
spoken
,
and
which
constituted
the
sole
visible
difference
between
the
strange
beast
and
the
one
I
had
destroyed
.
The
reader
will
remember
that
this
mark
,
although
large
,
had
been
originally
very
indefinite
;
but
,
by
slow
degrees
--
degrees
nearly
imperceptible
,
and
which
for
a
long
time
my
Reason
struggled
to
reject
as
fanciful
--
it
had
,
at
length
,
assumed
a
rigorous
distinctness
of
outline
.
It
was
now
the
representation
of
an
object
that
I
shudder
to
name
--
and
for
this
,
above
all
,
I
loathed
,
and
dreaded
,
and
would
have
rid
myself
of
the
monster
had
I
dared
--
it
was
now
,
I
say
,
the
image
of
a
hideous
--
of
a
ghastly
thing
--
of
the
GALLOWS
!
--
oh
,
mournful
and
terrible
engine
of
Horror
and
of
Crime
--
of
Agony
and
of
Death
!
And
now
was
I
indeed
wretched
beyond
the
wretchedness
of
mere
Humanity
.
And
a
brute
beast
--
whose
fellow
I
had
contemptuously
destroyed
--
a
brute
beast
to
work
out
for
me
--
for
me
a
man
,
fashioned
in
the
image
of
the
High
God
--
so
much
of
insufferable
wo
!
Alas
!
neither
by
day
nor
by
night
knew
I
the
blessing
of
Rest
any
more
!
During
the
former
the
creature
left
me
no
moment
alone
;
and
,
in
the
latter
,
I
started
,
hourly
,
from
dreams
of
unutterable
fear
,
to
find
the
hot
breath
of
the
thing
upon
my
face
,
and
its
vast
weight
--
an
incarnate
Night-Mare
that
I
had
no
power
to
shake
off
--
incumbent
eternally
upon
my
heart
!
Beneath
the
pressure
of
torments
such
as
these
,
the
feeble
remnant
of
the
good
within
me
succumbed
.
Evil
thoughts
became
my
sole
intimates
--
the
darkest
and
most
evil
of
thoughts
.
The
moodiness
of
my
usual
temper
increased
to
hatred
of
all
things
and
of
all
mankind
;
while
,
from
the
sudden
,
frequent
,
and
ungovernable
outbursts
of
a
fury
to
which
I
now
blindly
abandoned
myself
,
my
uncomplaining
wife
,
alas
!
was
the
most
usual
and
the
most
patient
of
sufferers
.
One
day
she
accompanied
me
,
upon
some
household
errand
,
into
the
cellar
of
the
old
building
which
our
poverty
compelled
us
to
inhabit
.
The
cat
followed
me
down
the
steep
stairs
,
and
,
nearly
throwing
me
headlong
,
exasperated
me
to
madness
.
Uplifting
an
axe
,
and
forgetting
,
in
my
wrath
,
the
childish
dread
which
had
hitherto
stayed
my
hand
,
I
aimed
a
blow
at
the
animal
which
,
of
course
,
would
have
proved
instantly
fatal
had
it
descended
as
I
wished
.
But
this
blow
was
arrested
by
the
hand
of
my
wife
.
Goaded
,
by
the
interference
,
into
a
rage
more
than
demoniacal
,
I
withdrew
my
arm
from
her
grasp
and
buried
the
axe
in
her
brain
.
She
fell
dead
upon
the
spot
,
without
a
groan
.
