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- Э. Л. Джеймс
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- Стр. 69/797
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“
Do
you
want
to
see
the
article
?
It
’
s
finished
.
José
took
some
great
pictures
.
”
Do
I
need
a
visual
reminder
of
the
beautiful
Christian
I
-
Don
’
t
-
Want
-
You
Grey
?
“
Sure
.
”
I
magic
a
smile
on
my
face
and
stroll
over
to
the
laptop
.
And
there
he
is
,
staring
at
me
in
black
and
white
,
staring
at
me
and
finding
me
lacking
.
I
pretend
to
read
the
article
,
all
the
time
meeting
his
steady
gray
gaze
,
searching
the
photo
for
some
clue
as
to
why
he
’
s
not
the
man
for
me
—
his
own
words
to
me
.
And
it
’
s
suddenly
blindingly
obvious
.
He
’
s
too
gloriously
good
-
looking
.
We
are
poles
apart
and
from
two
very
different
worlds
.
I
have
a
vision
of
myself
as
Icarus
flying
too
close
to
the
sun
and
crashing
and
burning
as
a
result
.
His
words
make
sense
.
He
’
s
not
the
man
for
me
.
This
is
what
he
meant
,
and
it
makes
his
rejection
easier
to
accept
…
almost
.
I
can
live
with
this
.
I
understand
.
“
Very
good
,
Kate
,
”
I
manage
.
“
I
’
m
going
to
study
.
”
I
am
not
going
to
think
about
him
again
for
now
,
I
vow
to
myself
,
and
opening
my
course
notes
,
I
start
to
read
.
IT
’
S
ONLY
WHEN
I
’
M
in
bed
,
trying
to
sleep
,
that
I
allow
my
thoughts
to
drift
through
my
strange
morning
.
I
keep
coming
back
to
the
I
don
’
t
do
the
girlfriend
thing
quote
,
and
I
’
m
angry
that
I
didn
’
t
pounce
on
this
information
sooner
,
before
I
was
in
his
arms
mentally
begging
him
with
every
fiber
of
my
being
to
kiss
me
.
He
’
d
said
it
there
and
then
.
He
didn
’
t
want
me
as
a
girlfriend
.
I
turn
onto
my
side
.
Idly
,
I
wonder
if
perhaps
he
’
s
celibate
.
I
close
my
eyes
and
begin
to
drift
.
Maybe
he
’
s
saving
himself
.
Well
,
not
for
you
.
My
sleepy
subconscious
has
a
final
swipe
at
me
before
unleashing
itself
on
my
dreams
.
And
that
night
,
I
dream
of
gray
eyes
and
leafy
patterns
in
milk
,
and
I
’
m
running
through
dark
places
with
eerie
strip
lighting
,
and
I
don
’
t
know
if
I
’
m
running
toward
something
or
away
from
it
…
it
’
s
just
not
clear
.
I
put
my
pen
down
.
Finished
.
My
final
exam
is
over
.
A
Cheshire
cat
grin
spreads
over
my
face
.
It
’
s
probably
the
first
time
all
week
that
I
’
ve
smiled
.
It
’
s
Friday
,
and
we
shall
be
celebrating
tonight
,
really
celebrating
.
I
might
even
get
drunk
!
I
’
ve
never
been
drunk
before
.
I
glance
across
the
hall
at
Kate
,
and
she
’
s
still
scribbling
furiously
,
five
minutes
to
the
finish
.
This
is
it
,
the
end
of
my
academic
career
.
I
shall
never
have
to
sit
in
rows
of
anxious
,
isolated
students
again
.
Inside
I
’
m
doing
graceful
cartwheels
around
my
head
,
knowing
full
well
that
’
s
the
only
place
I
can
do
graceful
cartwheels
.
Kate
stops
writing
and
puts
her
pen
down
.
She
glances
across
at
me
,
and
I
catch
her
Cheshire
cat
smile
,
too
.
We
head
back
to
our
apartment
together
in
her
Mercedes
,
refusing
to
discuss
our
final
paper
.
Kate
is
more
concerned
about
what
she
’
s
going
to
wear
to
the
bar
this
evening
.
I
am
busily
fishing
around
in
my
purse
for
my
keys
.
