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Wednesday
,
I
agree
.
I
ll
see
you
out
.
If
you
give
me
a
minute
.
I
sit
up
and
grab
my
T
-
shirt
,
pushing
him
out
of
the
way
.
Reluctantly
,
he
gets
up
off
the
bed
.
Please
pass
me
my
sweatpants
.
He
collects
them
from
the
floor
and
hands
them
to
me
.
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Yes
,
ma
am
.
He
s
trying
unsuccessfully
to
hide
his
smile
.
I
narrow
my
eyes
at
him
as
I
slip
the
pants
on
.
My
hair
is
a
mess
,
and
I
know
I
ll
have
to
face
the
Katherine
Kavanagh
Inquisition
after
he
s
gone
.
Grabbing
a
hair
tie
,
I
walk
to
my
bedroom
door
,
opening
it
to
check
for
Kate
.
She
is
not
in
the
living
room
.
I
think
I
can
hear
her
on
the
phone
in
her
room
.
Christian
follows
me
out
.
During
the
short
walk
from
bedroom
to
front
door
,
my
thoughts
and
feelings
ebb
and
flow
,
transforming
.
I
m
no
longer
angry
with
him
,
I
feel
suddenly
unbearably
shy
.
I
don
t
want
him
to
go
.
For
the
first
time
,
I
m
wishing
he
was
normal
wanting
a
normal
relationship
that
doesn
t
need
a
ten
-
page
agreement
,
a
flogger
,
and
carabiners
in
his
playroom
ceiling
.
I
open
the
door
for
him
and
stare
down
at
my
hands
.
This
is
the
first
time
I
have
ever
had
sex
in
my
home
,
and
as
sex
goes
,
I
think
it
was
pretty
damn
fine
.
But
now
I
feel
like
a
receptacle
an
empty
vessel
to
be
filled
at
his
whim
.
My
subconscious
shakes
her
head
.
You
wanted
to
run
to
the
Heathman
for
sex
you
had
it
express
delivered
.
She
crosses
her
arms
and
taps
her
foot
with
a
what
-
are
-
you
-
complaining
-
about
look
on
her
face
.
Christian
stops
in
the
doorway
and
clasps
my
chin
,
forcing
my
eyes
to
meet
his
.
His
brow
creases
.
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You
okay
?
he
asks
tenderly
as
his
thumb
lightly
caresses
my
bottom
lip
.
Yes
,
I
reply
,
though
in
all
honesty
I
m
just
not
sure
.
I
feel
a
paradigm
shift
.
I
know
that
if
I
do
this
thing
with
him
,
I
will
get
hurt
.
He
s
not
capable
,
interested
,
or
willing
to
offer
me
any
more
and
I
want
more
.
Much
more
.
The
surge
of
jealousy
I
felt
only
moments
ago
tells
me
that
I
have
deeper
feelings
for
him
than
I
have
admitted
to
myself
.
Wednesday
,
he
confirms
,
and
he
leans
forward
and
kisses
me
softly
.
Something
changes
while
he
s
kissing
me
;
his
lips
grow
more
urgent
against
mine
,
his
hand
moves
up
from
my
chin
and
he
s
holding
the
side
of
my
head
,
his
other
hand
on
the
other
side
.
His
breathing
accelerates
.