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- Э. Л. Джеймс
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- Стр. 240/797
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Holy
fuck
.
I
can
’
t
bring
myself
to
even
consider
the
food
list
.
I
swallow
hard
,
my
mouth
dry
,
and
read
it
again
.
My
head
is
buzzing
.
How
can
I
possibly
agree
to
all
this
?
And
apparently
it
’
s
for
my
benefit
,
to
explore
my
sensuality
,
my
limits
—
safely
—
oh
,
please
!
I
scoff
angrily
.
Serve
and
obey
in
all
things
.
All
things
!
I
shake
my
head
in
disbelief
.
Actually
,
don
’
t
the
marriage
vows
use
those
words
…
obey
?
This
throws
me
.
Do
couples
still
say
that
?
Only
three
months
—
is
that
why
there
have
been
so
many
?
He
doesn
’
t
keep
them
for
long
?
Or
have
they
had
enough
after
three
months
?
Every
weekend
?
That
’
s
too
much
.
I
’
ll
never
see
Kate
or
whatever
friends
I
may
make
at
my
new
job
,
provided
I
get
one
.
Perhaps
I
should
have
one
weekend
a
month
to
myself
.
Perhaps
when
I
have
my
period
—
that
sounds
…
practical
.
He
’
s
my
master
!
I
’
m
to
be
dealt
with
as
he
pleases
!
Holy
shit
.
I
shudder
at
the
thought
of
being
flogged
or
whipped
.
Spanking
probably
wouldn
’
t
be
so
bad
;
humiliating
,
though
.
And
tied
up
?
Well
,
he
did
tie
my
hands
together
.
That
was
…
well
,
it
was
hot
,
really
hot
,
so
perhaps
that
won
’
t
be
so
bad
.
He
won
’
t
loan
me
to
another
Dominant
—
damn
right
he
won
’
t
.
That
would
be
totally
unacceptable
.
Why
am
I
even
thinking
about
this
?
I
can
’
t
look
him
in
the
eye
.
How
weird
is
that
?
The
only
way
I
ever
have
any
chance
to
see
what
he
’
s
thinking
.
Actually
,
who
am
I
kidding
?
I
never
know
what
he
’
s
thinking
,
but
I
like
looking
into
his
eyes
.
He
has
beautiful
eyes
—
captivating
,
intelligent
,
deep
,
and
dark
,
dark
with
dominant
secrets
.
I
recall
his
burning
smoky
gaze
and
press
my
thighs
together
,
squirming
.
And
I
can
’
t
touch
him
.
Well
,
no
surprise
there
.
And
these
silly
rules
…
No
,
no
,
I
can
’
t
do
this
.
I
put
my
head
in
my
hands
.
This
is
no
way
to
have
a
relationship
.
I
need
some
sleep
.
I
’
m
shattered
.
All
the
physical
shenanigans
I
’
ve
been
engaged
in
over
the
last
twenty
-
four
hours
have
been
,
frankly
,
exhausting
.
And
mentally
…
oh
,
man
,
this
is
so
much
to
handle
.
As
José
would
say
,
a
real
mind
-
fuck
.
Perhaps
in
the
morning
this
might
not
read
like
a
bad
joke
.
I
scramble
up
and
change
quickly
.
Perhaps
I
should
borrow
Kate
’
s
pink
flannel
pajamas
.
I
want
something
cuddly
and
reassuring
around
me
.
I
head
to
the
bathroom
in
my
T
-
shirt
and
sleep
shorts
and
brush
my
teeth
.
I
stare
at
myself
in
the
bathroom
mirror
.
You
can
’
t
seriously
be
considering
this
…
My
subconscious
sounds
sane
and
rational
,
not
her
usual
snarky
self
.
My
inner
goddess
is
jumping
up
and
down
,
clapping
her
hands
like
a
five
-
year
-
old
.
Please
,
let
’
s
do
this
…
otherwise
we
’
ll
end
up
alone
with
lots
of
cats
and
your
classic
novels
to
keep
you
company
.
The
only
man
I
’
ve
ever
been
attracted
to
,
and
he
comes
with
a
bloody
contract
,
a
flogger
,
and
a
whole
world
of
issues
.
Well
,
at
least
I
got
my
way
this
weekend
.
My
inner
goddess
stops
jumping
and
smiles
serenely
.
Oh
yes
…
she
mouths
,
nodding
at
me
smugly
.
I
flush
at
the
memory
of
his
hands
and
his
mouth
on
me
,
his
body
inside
mine
.
Closing
my
eyes
,
I
feel
the
familiar
delicious
pull
of
my
muscles
from
deep
,
deep
down
.
I
want
to
do
that
again
and
again
.
Maybe
if
I
just
sign
up
for
the
sex
…
would
he
go
with
that
?
I
suspect
not
.
Am
I
submissive
?
Maybe
I
come
across
that
way
.
