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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Стр. 68/274
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The
reality
of
the
political
action
,
such
as
it
was
,
seemed
closer
,
and
acquired
poignancy
by
Antonia
's
belief
in
the
cause
.
Its
crudeness
hurt
his
feelings
.
He
was
surprised
at
his
own
sensitiveness
.
"
I
suppose
I
am
more
of
a
Costaguanero
than
I
would
have
believed
possible
,
"
he
thought
to
himself
.
His
disdain
grew
like
a
reaction
of
his
scepticism
against
the
action
into
which
he
was
forced
by
his
infatuation
for
Antonia
.
He
soothed
himself
by
saying
he
was
not
a
patriot
,
but
a
lover
.
The
ladies
came
in
bareheaded
,
and
Mrs.
Gould
sank
low
before
the
little
tea-table
.
Antonia
took
up
her
usual
place
at
the
reception
hour
--
the
corner
of
a
leathern
couch
,
with
a
rigid
grace
in
her
pose
and
a
fan
in
her
hand
.
Decoud
,
swerving
from
the
straight
line
of
his
march
,
came
to
lean
over
the
high
back
of
her
seat
.
For
a
long
time
he
talked
into
her
ear
from
behind
,
softly
,
with
a
half
smile
and
an
air
of
apologetic
familiarity
.
Her
fan
lay
half
grasped
on
her
knees
.
She
never
looked
at
him
.
His
rapid
utterance
grew
more
and
more
insistent
and
caressing
.
At
last
he
ventured
a
slight
laugh
.
"
No
,
really
.
You
must
forgive
me
.
One
must
be
serious
sometimes
.
"
He
paused
.
She
turned
her
head
a
little
;
her
blue
eyes
glided
slowly
towards
him
,
slightly
upwards
,
mollified
and
questioning
.
"
You
ca
n't
think
I
am
serious
when
I
call
Montero
a
gran
'
bestia
every
second
day
in
the
Porvenir
?
That
is
not
a
serious
occupation
.
No
occupation
is
serious
,
not
even
when
a
bullet
through
the
heart
is
the
penalty
of
failure
!
"
Her
hand
closed
firmly
on
her
fan
.
"
Some
reason
,
you
understand
,
I
mean
some
sense
,
may
creep
into
thinking
;
some
glimpse
of
truth
.
I
mean
some
effective
truth
,
for
which
there
is
no
room
in
politics
or
journalism
.
I
happen
to
have
said
what
I
thought
.
And
you
are
angry
!
If
you
do
me
the
kindness
to
think
a
little
you
will
see
that
I
spoke
like
a
patriot
.
"