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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Лорд Джим
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- Стр. 90/107
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'
I
took
her
hand
;
it
did
not
respond
,
and
when
I
dropped
it
,
it
hung
down
to
the
floor
.
That
indifference
,
more
awful
than
tears
,
cries
,
and
reproaches
,
seemed
to
defy
time
and
consolation
.
You
felt
that
nothing
you
could
say
would
reach
the
seat
of
the
still
and
benumbing
pain
.
'
Stein
had
said
,
"
You
shall
hear
.
"
I
did
hear
.
I
heard
it
all
,
listening
with
amazement
,
with
awe
,
to
the
tones
of
her
inflexible
weariness
.
She
could
not
grasp
the
real
sense
of
what
she
was
telling
me
,
and
her
resentment
filled
me
with
pity
for
her
--
for
him
too
.
I
stood
rooted
to
the
spot
after
she
had
finished
.
Leaning
on
her
arm
,
she
stared
with
hard
eyes
,
and
the
wind
passed
in
gusts
,
the
crystals
kept
on
clicking
in
the
greenish
gloom
.
She
went
on
whispering
to
herself
:
"
And
yet
he
was
looking
at
me
!
He
could
see
my
face
,
hear
my
voice
,
hear
my
grief
!
When
I
used
to
sit
at
his
feet
,
with
my
cheek
against
his
knee
and
his
hand
on
my
head
,
the
curse
of
cruelty
and
madness
was
already
within
him
,
waiting
for
the
day
.
The
day
came
!
...
and
before
the
sun
had
set
he
could
not
see
me
any
more
--
he
was
made
blind
and
deaf
and
without
pity
,
as
you
all
are
.
He
shall
have
no
tears
from
me
.
Never
,
never
.
Not
one
tear
.
I
will
not
!
He
went
away
from
me
as
if
I
had
been
worse
than
death
.
He
fled
as
if
driven
by
some
accursed
thing
he
had
heard
or
seen
in
his
sleep
...
"
'
Her
steady
eyes
seemed
to
strain
after
the
shape
of
a
man
torn
out
of
her
arms
by
the
strength
of
a
dream
.
She
made
no
sign
to
my
silent
bow
.
I
was
glad
to
escape
.
'
I
saw
her
once
again
,
the
same
afternoon
.
On
leaving
her
I
had
gone
in
search
of
Stein
,
whom
I
could
not
find
indoors
;
and
I
wandered
out
,
pursued
by
distressful
thoughts
,
into
the
gardens
,
those
famous
gardens
of
Stein
,
in
which
you
can
find
every
plant
and
tree
of
tropical
lowlands
.
I
followed
the
course
of
the
canalised
stream
,
and
sat
for
a
long
time
on
a
shaded
bench
near
the
ornamental
pond
,
where
some
waterfowl
with
clipped
wings
were
diving
and
splashing
noisily
.
The
branches
of
casuarina
trees
behind
me
swayed
lightly
,
incessantly
,
reminding
me
of
the
soughing
of
fir
trees
at
home
.
'
This
mournful
and
restless
sound
was
a
fit
accompaniment
to
my
meditations
.
She
had
said
he
had
been
driven
away
from
her
by
a
dream
,
--
and
there
was
no
answer
one
could
make
her
--
there
seemed
to
be
no
forgiveness
for
such
a
transgression
.
And
yet
is
not
mankind
itself
,
pushing
on
its
blind
way
,
driven
by
a
dream
of
its
greatness
and
its
power
upon
the
dark
paths
of
excessive
cruelty
and
of
excessive
devotion
?
And
what
is
the
pursuit
of
truth
,
after
all
?
'
When
I
rose
to
get
back
to
the
house
I
caught
sight
of
Stein
's
drab
coat
through
a
gap
in
the
foliage
,
and
very
soon
at
a
turn
of
the
path
I
came
upon
him
walking
with
the
girl
.
Her
little
hand
rested
on
his
forearm
,
and
under
the
broad
,
flat
rim
of
his
Panama
hat
he
bent
over
her
,
grey-haired
,
paternal
,
with
compassionate
and
chivalrous
deference
.
I
stood
aside
,
but
they
stopped
,
facing
me
.
His
gaze
was
bent
on
the
ground
at
his
feet
;
the
girl
,
erect
and
slight
on
his
arm
,
stared
sombrely
beyond
my
shoulder
with
black
,
clear
,
motionless
eyes
.
"
Schrecklich
,
"
he
murmured
.
"
Terrible
!
Terrible
!
What
can
one
do
?
"
He
seemed
to
be
appealing
to
me
,
but
her
youth
,
the
length
of
the
days
suspended
over
her
head
,
appealed
to
me
more
;
and
suddenly
,
even
as
I
realised
that
nothing
could
be
said
,
I
found
myself
pleading
his
cause
for
her
sake
.
"
You
must
forgive
him
,
"
I
concluded
,
and
my
own
voice
seemed
to
me
muffled
,
lost
in
un
irresponsive
deaf
immensity
.
"
We
all
want
to
be
forgiven
,
"
I
added
after
a
while
.
"'
What
have
I
done
?
"
she
asked
with
her
lips
only
.
"'
You
always
mistrusted
him
,
"
I
said
.
