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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Лорд Джим
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- Стр. 3/107
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After
two
years
of
training
he
went
to
sea
,
and
entering
the
regions
so
well
known
to
his
imagination
,
found
them
strangely
barren
of
adventure
.
He
made
many
voyages
.
He
knew
the
magic
monotony
of
existence
between
sky
and
water
:
he
had
to
bear
the
criticism
of
men
,
the
exactions
of
the
sea
,
and
the
prosaic
severity
of
the
daily
task
that
gives
bread
--
but
whose
only
reward
is
in
the
perfect
love
of
the
work
.
This
reward
eluded
him
.
Yet
he
could
not
go
back
,
because
there
is
nothing
more
enticing
,
disenchanting
,
and
enslaving
than
the
life
at
sea
.
Besides
,
his
prospects
were
good
.
He
was
gentlemanly
,
steady
,
tractable
,
with
a
thorough
knowledge
of
his
duties
;
and
in
time
,
when
yet
very
young
,
he
became
chief
mate
of
a
fine
ship
,
without
ever
having
been
tested
by
those
events
of
the
sea
that
show
in
the
light
of
day
the
inner
worth
of
a
man
,
the
edge
of
his
temper
,
and
the
fibre
of
his
stuff
;
that
reveal
the
quality
of
his
resistance
and
the
secret
truth
of
his
pretences
,
not
only
to
others
but
also
to
himself
.
Only
once
in
all
that
time
he
had
again
a
glimpse
of
the
earnestness
in
the
anger
of
the
sea
.
That
truth
is
not
so
often
made
apparent
as
people
might
think
.
There
are
many
shades
in
the
danger
of
adventures
and
gales
,
and
it
is
only
now
and
then
that
there
appears
on
the
face
of
facts
a
sinister
violence
of
intention
--
that
indefinable
something
which
forces
it
upon
the
mind
and
the
heart
of
a
man
,
that
this
complication
of
accidents
or
these
elemental
furies
are
coming
at
him
with
a
purpose
of
malice
,
with
a
strength
beyond
control
,
with
an
unbridled
cruelty
that
means
to
tear
out
of
him
his
hope
and
his
fear
,
the
pain
of
his
fatigue
and
his
longing
for
rest
:
which
means
to
smash
,
to
destroy
,
to
annihilate
all
he
has
seen
,
known
,
loved
,
enjoyed
,
or
hated
;
all
that
is
priceless
and
necessary
--
the
sunshine
,
the
memories
,
the
future
;
which
means
to
sweep
the
whole
precious
world
utterly
away
from
his
sight
by
the
simple
and
appalling
act
of
taking
his
life
.
Jim
,
disabled
by
a
falling
spar
at
the
beginning
of
a
week
of
which
his
Scottish
captain
used
to
say
afterwards
,
'
Man
!
it
's
a
pairfect
meeracle
to
me
how
she
lived
through
it
!
'
spent
many
days
stretched
on
his
back
,
dazed
,
battered
,
hopeless
,
and
tormented
as
if
at
the
bottom
of
an
abyss
of
unrest
.
He
did
not
care
what
the
end
would
be
,
and
in
his
lucid
moments
overvalued
his
indifference
.
The
danger
,
when
not
seen
,
has
the
imperfect
vagueness
of
human
thought
.
The
fear
grows
shadowy
;
and
Imagination
,
the
enemy
of
men
,
the
father
of
all
terrors
,
unstimulated
,
sinks
to
rest
in
the
dullness
of
exhausted
emotion
.
Jim
saw
nothing
but
the
disorder
of
his
tossed
cabin
.
He
lay
there
battened
down
in
the
midst
of
a
small
devastation
,
and
felt
secretly
glad
he
had
not
to
go
on
deck
.
But
now
and
again
an
uncontrollable
rush
of
anguish
would
grip
him
bodily
,
make
him
gasp
and
writhe
under
the
blankets
,
and
then
the
unintelligent
brutality
of
an
existence
liable
to
the
agony
of
such
sensations
filled
him
with
a
despairing
desire
to
escape
at
any
cost
.
Then
fine
weather
returned
,
and
he
thought
no
more
about
It
.
His
lameness
,
however
,
persisted
,
and
when
the
ship
arrived
at
an
Eastern
port
he
had
to
go
to
the
hospital
.
His
recovery
was
slow
,
and
he
was
left
behind
.
There
were
only
two
other
patients
in
the
white
men
's
ward
:
the
purser
of
a
gunboat
,
who
had
broken
his
leg
falling
down
a
hatch-way
;
and
a
kind
of
railway
contractor
from
a
neighbouring
province
,
afflicted
by
some
mysterious
tropical
disease
,
who
held
the
doctor
for
an
ass
,
and
indulged
in
secret
debaucheries
of
patent
medicine
which
his
Tamil
servant
used
to
smuggle
in
with
unwearied
devotion
.
They
told
each
other
the
story
of
their
lives
,
played
cards
a
little
,
or
,
yawning
and
in
pyjamas
,
lounged
through
the
day
in
easy-chairs
without
saying
a
word
.
The
hospital
stood
on
a
hill
,
and
a
gentle
breeze
entering
through
the
windows
,
always
flung
wide
open
,
brought
into
the
bare
room
the
softness
of
the
sky
,
the
languor
of
the
earth
,
the
bewitching
breath
of
the
Eastern
waters
.
There
were
perfumes
in
it
,
suggestions
of
infinite
repose
,
the
gift
of
endless
dreams
.
Jim
looked
every
day
over
the
thickets
of
gardens
,
beyond
the
roofs
of
the
town
,
over
the
fronds
of
palms
growing
on
the
shore
,
at
that
roadstead
which
is
a
thoroughfare
to
the
East
,
--
at
the
roadstead
dotted
by
garlanded
islets
,
lighted
by
festal
sunshine
,
its
ships
like
toys
,
its
brilliant
activity
resembling
a
holiday
pageant
,
with
the
eternal
serenity
of
the
Eastern
sky
overhead
and
the
smiling
peace
of
the
Eastern
seas
possessing
the
space
as
far
as
the
horizon
.
Directly
he
could
walk
without
a
stick
,
he
descended
into
the
town
to
look
for
some
opportunity
to
get
home
.
Nothing
offered
just
then
,
and
,
while
waiting
,
he
associated
naturally
with
the
men
of
his
calling
in
the
port
.
These
were
of
two
kinds
.
Some
,
very
few
and
seen
there
but
seldom
,
led
mysterious
lives
,
had
preserved
an
undefaced
energy
with
the
temper
of
buccaneers
and
the
eyes
of
dreamers
.
They
appeared
to
live
in
a
crazy
maze
of
plans
,
hopes
,
dangers
,
enterprises
,
ahead
of
civilisation
,
in
the
dark
places
of
the
sea
;
and
their
death
was
the
only
event
of
their
fantastic
existence
that
seemed
to
have
a
reasonable
certitude
of
achievement
.
The
majority
were
men
who
,
like
himself
,
thrown
there
by
some
accident
,
had
remained
as
officers
of
country
ships
.
They
had
now
a
horror
of
the
home
service
,
with
its
harder
conditions
,
severer
view
of
duty
,
and
the
hazard
of
stormy
oceans
.
They
were
attuned
to
the
eternal
peace
of
Eastern
sky
and
sea
.
They
loved
short
passages
,
good
deck-chairs
,
large
native
crews
,
and
the
distinction
of
being
white
.
They
shuddered
at
the
thought
of
hard
work
,
and
led
precariously
easy
lives
,
always
on
the
verge
of
dismissal
,
always
on
the
verge
of
engagement
,
serving
Chinamen
,
Arabs
,
half-castes
--
would
have
served
the
devil
himself
had
he
made
it
easy
enough
.
They
talked
everlastingly
of
turns
of
luck
:
how
So-and-so
got
charge
of
a
boat
on
the
coast
of
China
--
a
soft
thing
;
how
this
one
had
an
easy
billet
in
Japan
somewhere
,
and
that
one
was
doing
well
in
the
Siamese
navy
;
and
in
all
they
said
--
in
their
actions
,
in
their
looks
,
in
their
persons
--
could
be
detected
the
soft
spot
,
the
place
of
decay
,
the
determination
to
lounge
safely
through
existence
.
