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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Стр. 3/33
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"
I
do
n't
want
to
bother
you
much
with
what
happened
to
me
personally
,
"
he
began
,
showing
in
this
remark
the
weakness
of
many
tellers
of
tales
who
seem
so
often
unaware
of
what
their
audience
would
like
best
to
hear
;
"
yet
to
understand
the
effect
of
it
on
me
you
ought
to
know
how
I
got
out
there
,
what
I
saw
,
how
I
went
up
that
river
to
the
place
where
I
first
met
the
poor
chap
.
It
was
the
farthest
point
of
navigation
and
the
culminating
point
of
my
experience
.
It
seemed
somehow
to
throw
a
kind
of
light
on
everything
about
me
--
and
into
my
thoughts
.
It
was
sombre
enough
,
too
--
and
pitiful
--
not
extraordinary
in
any
way
--
not
very
clear
either
.
No
,
not
very
clear
.
And
yet
it
seemed
to
throw
a
kind
of
light
.
"
I
had
then
,
as
you
remember
,
just
returned
to
London
after
a
lot
of
Indian
Ocean
,
Pacific
,
China
Seas
--
a
regular
dose
of
the
East
--
six
years
or
so
,
and
I
was
loafing
about
,
hindering
you
fellows
in
your
work
and
invading
your
homes
,
just
as
though
I
had
got
a
heavenly
mission
to
civilize
you
.
It
was
very
fine
for
a
time
,
but
after
a
bit
I
did
get
tired
of
resting
.
Then
I
began
to
look
for
a
ship
--
I
should
think
the
hardest
work
on
earth
.
But
the
ships
would
n't
even
look
at
me
.
And
I
got
tired
of
that
game
,
too
.
"
Now
when
I
was
a
little
chap
I
had
a
passion
for
maps
.
I
would
look
for
hours
at
South
America
,
or
Africa
,
or
Australia
,
and
lose
myself
in
all
the
glories
of
exploration
.
At
that
time
there
were
many
blank
spaces
on
the
earth
,
and
when
I
saw
one
that
looked
particularly
inviting
on
a
map
(
but
they
all
look
that
)
I
would
put
my
finger
on
it
and
say
,
'
When
I
grow
up
I
will
go
there
.
'
The
North
Pole
was
one
of
these
places
,
I
remember
.
Well
,
I
have
n't
been
there
yet
,
and
shall
not
try
now
.
The
glamour
's
off
.
Other
places
were
scattered
about
the
hemispheres
.
I
have
been
in
some
of
them
,
and
...
well
,
we
wo
n't
talk
about
that
.
But
there
was
one
yet
--
the
biggest
,
the
most
blank
,
so
to
speak
--
that
I
had
a
hankering
after
.
"
True
,
by
this
time
it
was
not
a
blank
space
any
more
.
It
had
got
filled
since
my
boyhood
with
rivers
and
lakes
and
names
.
It
had
ceased
to
be
a
blank
space
of
delightful
mystery
--
a
white
patch
for
a
boy
to
dream
gloriously
over
.
It
had
become
a
place
of
darkness
.
But
there
was
in
it
one
river
especially
,
a
mighty
big
river
,
that
you
could
see
on
the
map
,
resembling
an
immense
snake
uncoiled
,
with
its
head
in
the
sea
,
its
body
at
rest
curving
afar
over
a
vast
country
,
and
its
tail
lost
in
the
depths
of
the
land
.
And
as
I
looked
at
the
map
of
it
in
a
shop-window
,
it
fascinated
me
as
a
snake
would
a
bird
--
a
silly
little
bird
.
Then
I
remembered
there
was
a
big
concern
,
a
Company
for
trade
on
that
river
.
Dash
it
all
!
I
thought
to
myself
,
they
ca
n't
trade
without
using
some
kind
of
craft
on
that
lot
of
fresh
water
--
steamboats
!
Why
should
n't
I
try
to
get
charge
of
one
?
I
went
on
along
Fleet
Street
,
but
could
not
shake
off
the
idea
.
The
snake
had
charmed
me
.
"
You
understand
it
was
a
Continental
concern
,
that
Trading
society
;
but
I
have
a
lot
of
relations
living
on
the
Continent
,
because
it
's
cheap
and
not
so
nasty
as
it
looks
,
they
say
.
"
I
am
sorry
to
own
I
began
to
worry
them
.
This
was
already
a
fresh
departure
for
me
.
I
was
not
used
to
get
things
that
way
,
you
know
.
I
always
went
my
own
road
and
on
my
own
legs
where
I
had
a
mind
to
go
.
I
would
n't
have
believed
it
of
myself
;
but
,
then
--
you
see
--
I
felt
somehow
I
must
get
there
by
hook
or
by
crook
.
So
I
worried
them
.
The
men
said
'
My
dear
fellow
,
'
and
did
nothing
.
Then
--
would
you
believe
it
?
--
I
tried
the
women
.
I
,
Charlie
Marlow
,
set
the
women
to
work
--
to
get
a
job
.
Heavens
!
Well
,
you
see
,
the
notion
drove
me
.
I
had
an
aunt
,
a
dear
enthusiastic
soul
.
She
wrote
:
'
It
will
be
delightful
.
I
am
ready
to
do
anything
,
anything
for
you
.
It
is
a
glorious
idea
.
I
know
the
wife
of
a
very
high
personage
in
the
Administration
,
and
also
a
man
who
has
lots
of
influence
with
,
'
etc.
.
She
was
determined
to
make
no
end
of
fuss
to
get
me
appointed
skipper
of
a
river
steamboat
,
if
such
was
my
fancy
.
"
I
got
my
appointment
--
of
course
;
and
I
got
it
very
quick
.
It
appears
the
Company
had
received
news
that
one
of
their
captains
had
been
killed
in
a
scuffle
with
the
natives
.
This
was
my
chance
,
and
it
made
me
the
more
anxious
to
go
.
It
was
only
months
and
months
afterwards
,
when
I
made
the
attempt
to
recover
what
was
left
of
the
body
,
that
I
heard
the
original
quarrel
arose
from
a
misunderstanding
about
some
hens
.
Yes
,
two
black
hens
.
Fresleven
--
that
was
the
fellow
's
name
,
a
Dane
--
thought
himself
wronged
somehow
in
the
bargain
,
so
he
went
ashore
and
started
to
hammer
the
chief
of
the
village
with
a
stick
.
Oh
,
it
did
n't
surprise
me
in
the
least
to
hear
this
,
and
at
the
same
time
to
be
told
that
Fresleven
was
the
gentlest
,
quietest
creature
that
ever
walked
on
two
legs
.
No
doubt
he
was
;
but
he
had
been
a
couple
of
years
already
out
there
engaged
in
the
noble
cause
,
you
know
,
and
he
probably
felt
the
need
at
last
of
asserting
his
self-respect
in
some
way
.
