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- Джозеф Конрад
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For
days
together
,
on
a
trip
,
he
would
shut
himself
up
in
his
berth
with
them
:
the
thump
of
the
toiling
engines
pulsated
in
his
ear
;
and
he
would
weary
his
brain
poring
over
the
rows
of
disconnected
figures
,
bewildering
by
their
senseless
sequence
,
resembling
the
hazards
of
destiny
itself
.
He
nourished
a
conviction
that
there
must
be
some
logic
lurking
somewhere
in
the
results
of
chance
.
He
thought
he
had
seen
its
very
form
.
His
head
swam
;
his
limbs
ached
;
he
puffed
at
his
pipe
mechanically
;
a
contemplative
stupor
would
soothe
the
fretfulness
of
his
temper
,
like
the
passive
bodily
quietude
procured
by
a
drug
,
while
the
intellect
remains
tensely
on
the
stretch
.
Nine
,
nine
,
aught
,
four
,
two
.
He
made
a
note
.
The
next
winning
number
of
the
great
prize
was
forty-seven
thousand
and
five
.
These
numbers
of
course
would
have
to
be
avoided
in
the
future
when
writing
to
Manilla
for
the
tickets
.
He
mumbled
,
pencil
in
hand
...
"
and
five
.
Hm
...
hm
.
"
He
wetted
his
finger
:
the
papers
rustled
.
Ha
!
But
what
's
this
?
Three
years
ago
,
in
the
September
drawing
,
it
was
number
nine
,
aught
,
four
,
two
that
took
the
first
prize
.
Most
remarkable
.
There
was
a
hint
there
of
a
definite
rule
!
He
was
afraid
of
missing
some
recondite
principle
in
the
overwhelming
wealth
of
his
material
.
What
could
it
be
?
and
for
half
an
hour
he
would
remain
dead
still
,
bent
low
over
the
desk
,
without
twitching
a
muscle
.
At
his
back
the
whole
berth
would
be
thick
with
a
heavy
body
of
smoke
,
as
if
a
bomb
had
burst
in
there
,
unnoticed
,
unheard
.
At
last
he
would
lock
up
the
desk
with
the
decision
of
unshaken
confidence
,
jump
and
go
out
.
He
would
walk
swiftly
back
and
forth
on
that
part
of
the
foredeck
which
was
kept
clear
of
the
lumber
and
of
the
bodies
of
the
native
passengers
.
They
were
a
great
nuisance
,
but
they
were
also
a
source
of
profit
that
could
not
be
disdained
.
He
needed
every
penny
of
profit
the
Sofala
could
make
.
Little
enough
it
was
,
in
all
conscience
!
The
incertitude
of
chance
gave
him
no
concern
,
since
he
had
somehow
arrived
at
the
conviction
that
,
in
the
course
of
years
,
every
number
was
bound
to
have
his
winning
turn
.
It
was
simply
a
matter
of
time
and
of
taking
as
many
tickets
as
he
could
afford
for
every
drawing
.
He
generally
took
rather
more
;
all
the
earnings
of
the
ship
went
that
way
,
and
also
the
wages
he
allowed
himself
as
chief
engineer
.
It
was
the
wages
he
paid
to
others
that
he
begrudged
with
a
reasoned
and
at
the
same
time
a
passionate
regret
.
He
scowled
at
the
lascars
with
their
deck
brooms
,
at
the
quartermasters
rubbing
the
brass
rails
with
greasy
rags
;
he
was
eager
to
shake
his
fist
and
roar
abuse
in
bad
Malay
at
the
poor
carpenter
--
a
timid
,
sickly
,
opium-fuddled
Chinaman
,
in
loose
blue
drawers
for
all
costume
,
who
invariably
dropped
his
tools
and
fled
below
,
with
streaming
tail
and
shaking
all
over
,
before
the
fury
of
that
"
devil
.
"
But
it
was
when
he
raised
up
his
eyes
to
the
bridge
where
one
of
these
sailor
frauds
was
always
planted
by
law
in
charge
of
his
ship
that
he
felt
almost
dizzy
with
rage
.
He
abominated
them
all
;
it
was
an
old
feud
,
from
the
time
he
first
went
to
sea
,
an
unlicked
cub
with
a
great
opinion
of
himself
,
in
the
engine-room
.
The
slights
that
had
been
put
upon
him
.
The
persecutions
he
had
suffered
at
the
hands
of
skippers
--
of
absolute
nobodies
in
a
steamship
after
all
.
And
now
that
he
had
risen
to
be
a
shipowner
they
were
still
a
plague
to
him
:
he
had
absolutely
to
pay
away
precious
money
to
the
conceited
useless
loafers
:
--
As
if
a
fully
qualified
engineer
--
who
was
the
owner
as
well
--
were
not
fit
to
be
trusted
with
the
whole
charge
of
a
ship
.
Well
!
he
made
it
pretty
warm
for
them
;
but
it
was
a
poor
consolation
.
He
had
come
in
time
to
hate
the
ship
too
for
the
repairs
she
required
,
for
the
coal-bills
he
had
to
pay
,
for
the
poor
beggarly
freights
she
earned
.
He
would
clench
his
hand
as
he
walked
and
hit
the
rail
a
sudden
blow
,
viciously
,
as
though
she
could
be
made
to
feel
pain
.
And
yet
he
could
not
do
without
er
;
he
needed
her
;
he
must
hang
on
to
her
tooth
and
nail
to
keep
his
head
above
water
till
the
expected
flood
of
fortune
came
sweeping
up
and
landed
him
safely
on
the
high
shore
of
his
ambition
.
It
was
now
to
do
nothing
,
nothing
whatever
,
and
have
plenty
of
money
to
do
it
on
.
He
had
tasted
of
power
,
the
highest
form
of
it
his
limited
experience
was
aware
of
--
the
power
of
shipowning
.
What
a
deception
!
Vanity
of
vanities
!
He
wondered
at
his
folly
.
He
had
thrown
away
the
substance
for
the
shadow
.
Of
the
gratification
of
wealth
he
did
not
know
enough
to
excite
his
imagination
with
any
visions
of
luxury
.
How
could
he
--
the
child
of
a
drunken
boiler-maker
--
going
straight
from
the
workshop
into
the
engine-room
of
a
north-country
collier
!
But
the
notion
of
the
absolute
idleness
of
wealth
he
could
very
well
conceive
.
He
reveled
in
it
,
to
forget
his
present
troubles
;
he
imagined
himself
walking
about
the
streets
of
Hull
(
he
knew
their
gutters
well
as
a
boy
)
with
his
pockets
full
of
sovereigns
.
He
would
buy
himself
a
house
;
his
married
sisters
,
their
husbands
,
his
old
workshop
chums
,
would
render
him
infinite
homage
.
There
would
be
nothing
to
think
of
.
His
word
would
be
law
.
He
had
been
out
of
work
for
a
long
time
before
he
won
his
prize
,
and
he
remembered
how
Carlo
Mariani
(
commonly
known
as
Paunchy
Charley
)
,
the
Maltese
hotel-keeper
at
the
slummy
end
of
Denham
Street
,
had
cringed
joyfully
before
him
in
the
evening
,
when
the
news
had
come
.
Poor
Charley
,
though
he
made
his
living
by
ministering
to
various
abject
vices
,
gave
credit
for
their
food
to
many
a
piece
of
white
wreckage
.
He
was
naively
overjoyed
at
the
idea
of
his
old
bills
being
paid
,
and
he
reckoned
confidently
on
a
spell
of
festivities
in
the
cavernous
grog-shop
downstairs
.
Massy
remembered
the
curious
,
respectful
looks
of
the
"
trashy
"
white
men
in
the
place
.
His
heart
had
swelled
within
him
.
Massy
had
left
Charley
's
infamous
den
directly
he
had
realized
the
possibilities
open
to
him
,
and
with
his
nose
in
the
air
.
Afterwards
the
memory
of
these
adulations
was
a
great
sadness
.
This
was
the
true
power
of
money
,
--
and
no
trouble
with
it
,
nor
any
thinking
required
either
.
He
thought
with
difficulty
and
felt
vividly
;
to
his
blunt
brain
the
problems
offered
by
any
ordered
scheme
of
life
seemed
in
their
cruel
toughness
to
have
been
put
in
his
way
by
the
obvious
malevolence
of
men
.
As
a
shipowner
everyone
had
conspired
to
make
him
a
nobody
.
How
could
he
have
been
such
a
fool
as
to
purchase
that
accursed
ship
.
He
had
been
abominably
swindled
;
there
was
no
end
to
this
swindling
;
and
as
the
difficulties
of
his
improvident
ambition
gathered
thicker
round
him
,
he
really
came
to
hate
everybody
he
had
ever
come
in
contact
with
.
A
temper
naturally
irritable
and
an
amazing
sensitiveness
to
the
claims
of
his
own
personality
had
ended
by
making
of
life
for
him
a
sort
of
inferno
--
a
place
where
his
lost
soul
had
been
given
up
to
the
torment
of
savage
brooding
.
But
he
had
never
hated
anyone
so
much
as
that
old
man
who
had
turned
up
one
evening
to
save
him
from
an
utter
disaster
,
--
from
the
conspiracy
of
the
wretched
sailors
.
He
seemed
to
have
fallen
on
board
from
the
sky
.
His
footsteps
echoed
on
the
empty
steamer
,
and
the
strange
deep-toned
voice
on
deck
repeating
interrogatively
the
words
,
"
Mr.
Massy
,
Mr.
Massy
there
?
"
had
been
startling
like
a
wonder
.
And
coming
up
from
the
depths
of
the
cold
engine-room
,
where
he
had
been
pottering
dismally
with
a
candle
amongst
the
enormous
shadows
,
thrown
on
all
sides
by
the
skeleton
limbs
of
machinery
,
Massy
had
been
struck
dumb
by
astonishment
in
the
presence
of
that
imposing
old
man
with
a
beard
like
a
silver
plate
,
towering
in
the
dusk
rendered
lurid
by
the
expiring
flames
of
sunset
.
"
Want
to
see
me
on
business
?
What
business
?
I
am
doing
no
business
.
Ca
n't
you
see
that
this
ship
is
laid
up
?
"
Massy
had
turned
at
bay
before
the
pursuing
irony
of
his
disaster
.
Afterwards
he
could
not
believe
his
ears
.
What
was
that
old
fellow
getting
at
?
Things
do
n't
happen
that
way
.
It
was
a
dream
.
He
would
presently
wake
up
and
find
the
man
vanished
like
a
shape
of
mist
.
The
gravity
,
the
dignity
,
the
firm
and
courteous
tone
of
that
athletic
old
stranger
impressed
Massy
.
He
was
almost
afraid
.
But
it
was
no
dream
.
Five
hundred
pounds
are
no
dream
.
At
once
he
became
suspicious
.
What
did
it
mean
?
Of
course
it
was
an
offer
to
catch
hold
of
for
dear
life
.
