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- Джозеф Конрад
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- Стр. 37/95
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A
very
natural
incredulity
succeeding
this
sense
of
upheaval
brought
a
measure
of
relief
.
He
had
gasped
;
it
was
over
.
But
afterwards
during
all
that
day
sudden
paroxysms
of
wonder
would
come
over
him
in
the
midst
of
his
occupations
.
He
would
stop
and
shake
his
head
.
The
revolt
of
his
incredulity
had
passed
away
almost
as
quick
as
the
first
emotion
of
discovery
,
and
for
the
next
twenty-four
hours
he
had
no
sleep
.
That
would
never
do
.
At
meal-times
(
he
took
the
foot
of
the
table
set
up
for
the
white
men
on
the
bridge
)
he
could
not
help
losing
himself
in
a
fascinated
contemplation
of
Captain
Whalley
opposite
.
He
watched
the
deliberate
upward
movements
of
the
arm
;
the
old
man
put
his
food
to
his
lips
as
though
he
never
expected
to
find
any
taste
in
his
daily
bread
,
as
though
he
did
not
know
anything
about
it
.
He
fed
himself
like
a
somnambulist
.
"
It
's
an
awful
sight
,
"
thought
Sterne
;
and
he
watched
the
long
period
of
mournful
,
silent
immobility
,
with
a
big
brown
hand
lying
loosely
closed
by
the
side
of
the
plate
,
till
he
noticed
the
two
engineers
to
the
right
and
left
looking
at
him
in
astonishment
.
He
would
close
his
mouth
in
a
hurry
then
,
and
lowering
his
eyes
,
wink
rapidly
at
his
plate
.
It
was
awful
to
see
the
old
chap
sitting
there
;
it
was
even
awful
to
think
that
with
three
words
he
could
blow
him
up
sky-high
.
All
he
had
to
do
was
to
raise
his
voice
and
pronounce
a
single
short
sentence
,
and
yet
that
simple
act
seemed
as
impossible
to
attempt
as
moving
the
sun
out
of
its
place
in
the
sky
.
The
old
chap
could
eat
in
his
terrific
mechanical
way
;
but
Sterne
,
from
mental
excitement
,
could
not
--
not
that
evening
,
at
any
rate
.
He
had
had
ample
time
since
to
get
accustomed
to
the
strain
of
the
meal-hours
.
He
would
never
have
believed
it
.
But
then
use
is
everything
;
only
the
very
potency
of
his
success
prevented
anything
resembling
elation
.
He
felt
like
a
man
who
,
in
his
legitimate
search
for
a
loaded
gun
to
help
him
on
his
way
through
the
world
,
chances
to
come
upon
a
torpedo
--
upon
a
live
torpedo
with
a
shattering
charge
in
its
head
and
a
pressure
of
many
atmospheres
in
its
tail
.
It
is
the
sort
of
weapon
to
make
its
possessor
careworn
and
nervous
.
He
had
no
mind
to
be
blown
up
himself
;
and
he
could
not
get
rid
of
the
notion
that
the
explosion
was
bound
to
damage
him
too
in
some
way
.
This
vague
apprehension
had
restrained
him
at
first
.
He
was
able
now
to
eat
and
sleep
with
that
fearful
weapon
by
his
side
,
with
the
conviction
of
its
power
always
in
mind
.
It
had
not
been
arrived
at
by
any
reflective
process
;
but
once
the
idea
had
entered
his
head
,
the
conviction
had
followed
overwhelmingly
in
a
multitude
of
observed
little
facts
to
which
before
he
had
given
only
a
languid
attention
.
The
abrupt
and
faltering
intonations
of
the
deep
voice
;
the
taciturnity
put
on
like
an
armor
;
the
deliberate
,
as
if
guarded
,
movements
;
the
long
immobilities
,
as
if
the
man
he
watched
had
been
afraid
to
disturb
the
very
air
:
every
familiar
gesture
,
every
word
uttered
in
his
hearing
,
every
sigh
overheard
,
had
acquired
a
special
significance
,
a
confirmatory
import
.
Every
day
that
passed
over
the
Sofala
appeared
to
Sterne
simply
crammed
full
with
proofs
--
with
incontrovertible
proofs
.
At
night
,
when
off
duty
,
he
would
steal
out
of
his
cabin
in
pyjamas
(
for
more
proofs
)
and
stand
a
full
hour
,
perhaps
,
on
his
bare
feet
below
the
bridge
,
as
absolutely
motionless
as
the
awning
stanchion
in
its
deck
socket
near
by
.
On
the
stretches
of
easy
navigation
it
is
not
usual
for
a
coasting
captain
to
remain
on
deck
all
the
time
of
his
watch
.
The
Serang
keeps
it
for
him
as
a
matter
of
custom
;
in
open
water
,
on
a
straight
course
,
he
is
usually
trusted
to
look
after
the
ship
by
himself
.
But
this
old
man
seemed
incapable
of
remaining
quietly
down
below
.
No
doubt
he
could
not
sleep
.
And
no
wonder
.
This
was
also
a
proof
.
Suddenly
in
the
silence
of
the
ship
panting
upon
the
still
,
dark
sea
,
Sterne
would
hear
a
low
voice
above
him
exclaiming
nervously
--
"
Serang
!
"
"
Tuan
!
"
"
You
are
watching
the
compass
well
?
"
"
Yes
,
I
am
watching
,
Tuan
.
"