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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 54/452
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"
Oh
,
well
,
"
sang
McWatt
,
"
what
the
hell
.
"
And
back
they
had
gone
while
the
planes
in
the
other
flights
circled
safely
off
in
the
distance
and
every
crashing
cannon
in
the
Hermann
Goering
Division
below
was
busy
crashing
shells
this
time
only
at
them
.
Colonel
Cathcart
had
courage
and
never
hesitated
to
volunteer
his
men
for
any
target
available
.
No
target
was
too
dangerous
for
his
group
to
attack
,
just
as
no
shot
was
too
difficult
for
Appleby
to
handle
on
the
Ping
-
Pong
table
.
Appleby
was
a
good
pilot
and
a
superhuman
Ping
-
Pong
player
with
flies
in
his
eyes
who
never
lost
a
point
.
Twenty
-
one
serves
were
all
it
ever
took
for
Appleby
to
disgrace
another
opponent
.
His
prowess
on
the
Ping
-
Pong
table
was
legendary
,
and
Appleby
won
every
game
he
started
until
the
night
Orr
got
tipsy
on
gin
and
juice
and
smashed
open
Appleby
’
s
forehead
with
his
paddle
after
Appleby
has
smashed
back
each
of
Orr
’
s
first
five
serves
.
Orr
leaped
on
top
of
the
table
after
hurling
his
paddle
and
came
sailing
off
the
other
end
in
a
running
broad
jump
with
both
feet
planted
squarely
in
Appleby
’
s
face
.
Pandemonium
broke
loose
.
It
took
almost
a
full
minute
for
Appleby
to
disentangle
himself
from
Orr
’
s
flailing
arms
and
legs
and
grope
his
way
to
his
feet
,
with
Orr
held
off
the
ground
before
him
by
the
shirt
front
in
one
hand
and
his
other
arm
drawn
back
in
a
fist
to
smite
him
dead
,
and
at
that
moment
Yossarian
stepped
forward
and
took
Orr
away
from
him
.
It
was
a
night
of
surprises
for
Appleby
,
who
was
as
large
as
Yossarian
and
as
strong
and
who
swung
at
Yossarian
as
hard
as
he
could
with
a
punch
that
flooded
Chief
White
Halfoat
with
such
joyous
excitement
that
he
turned
and
busted
Colonel
Moodus
in
the
nose
with
a
punch
that
filled
General
Dreedle
with
such
mellow
gratification
that
he
had
Colonel
Cathcart
throw
the
chaplain
out
of
the
officers
’
club
and
ordered
Chief
White
Halfoat
moved
into
Doc
Daneeka
’
s
tent
,
where
he
could
be
under
a
doctor
’
s
care
twenty
-
four
hours
a
day
and
be
kept
in
good
enough
physical
condition
to
bust
Colonel
Moodus
in
the
nose
again
whenever
General
Dreedle
wanted
him
to
.
Sometimes
General
Dreedle
made
special
trips
down
from
Wing
Headquarters
with
Colonel
Moodus
and
his
nurse
just
to
have
Chief
White
Halfoat
bust
his
son
-
in
-
law
in
the
nose
.
Chief
White
Halfoat
would
much
rather
have
remained
in
the
trailer
he
shared
with
Captain
Flume
,
the
silent
,
haunted
squadron
public
-
relations
officer
who
spent
most
of
each
evening
developing
the
pictures
he
took
during
the
day
to
be
sent
out
with
his
publicity
releases
.
Captain
Flume
spent
as
much
of
each
evening
as
he
could
working
in
his
darkroom
and
then
lay
down
on
his
cot
with
his
fingers
crossed
and
a
rabbit
’
s
foot
around
his
neck
and
tried
with
all
his
might
to
stay
awake
.
He
lived
in
mortal
fear
of
Chief
White
Halfoat
.
Captain
Flume
was
obsessed
with
the
idea
that
Chief
White
Halfoat
would
tiptoe
up
to
his
cot
one
night
when
he
was
sound
asleep
and
slit
his
throat
open
for
him
from
ear
to
ear
.
Captain
Flume
had
obtained
this
idea
from
Chief
White
Halfoat
himself
,
who
did
tiptoe
up
to
his
cot
one
night
as
he
was
dozing
off
,
to
hiss
portentously
that
one
night
when
he
,
Captain
Flume
,
was
sound
asleep
he
,
Chief
White
Halfoat
,
was
going
to
slit
his
throat
open
for
him
from
ear
to
ear
.
Captain
Flume
turned
to
ice
,
his
eyes
,
flung
open
wide
,
staring
directly
up
into
Chief
White
Halfoat
’
s
,
glinting
drunkenly
only
inches
away
.
"
Why
?
"
Captain
Flume
managed
to
croak
finally
.
"
Why
not
?
"
was
Chief
White
Halfoat
’
s
answer
.
Each
night
after
that
,
Captain
Flume
forced
himself
to
keep
awake
as
long
as
possible
.
He
was
aided
immeasurably
by
Hungry
Joe
’
s
nightmares
.
Listening
so
intently
to
Hungry
Joe
’
s
maniacal
howling
night
after
night
,
Captain
Flume
grew
to
hate
him
and
began
wishing
that
Chief
White
Halfoat
would
tiptoe
up
to
his
cot
one
night
and
slit
his
throat
open
for
him
from
ear
to
ear
.
Actually
,
Captain
Flume
slept
like
a
log
most
nights
and
merely
dreamed
he
was
awake
.
So
convincing
were
these
dreams
of
lying
awake
that
he
awoke
from
them
each
morning
in
complete
exhaustion
and
fell
right
back
to
sleep
.
Chief
White
Halfoat
had
grown
almost
fond
of
Captain
Flume
since
his
amazing
metamorphosis
.
Captain
Flume
had
entered
his
bed
that
night
a
buoyant
extrovert
and
left
it
the
next
morning
a
brooding
introvert
,
and
Chief
White
Halfoat
proudly
regarded
the
new
Captain
Flume
as
his
own
creation
.
He
had
never
intended
to
slit
Captain
Flume
’
s
throat
open
for
him
from
ear
to
ear
.
Threatening
to
do
so
was
merely
his
idea
of
a
joke
,
like
dying
of
pneumonia
,
busting
Colonel
Moodus
in
the
nose
or
challenging
Doc
Daneeka
to
Indian
wrestle
.
All
Chief
White
Halfoat
wanted
to
do
when
he
staggered
in
drunk
each
night
was
go
right
to
sleep
,
and
Hungry
Joe
often
made
that
impossible
.
Hungry
Joe
’
s
nightmares
gave
Chief
White
Halfoat
the
heebiejeebies
,
and
he
often
wished
that
someone
would
tiptoe
into
Hungry
Joe
’
s
tent
,
lift
Huple
’
s
cat
off
his
face
and
slit
his
throat
open
for
him
from
ear
to
ear
,
so
that
everybody
in
the
squadron
but
Captain
Flume
could
get
a
good
night
’
s
sleep
.
