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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
Well
,
I
’
ll
be
damned
,
"
mused
General
Peckem
with
astonishment
,
swearing
aloud
for
perhaps
the
first
time
in
his
life
.
"
Cargill
,
did
you
hear
that
?
Scheisskopf
was
promoted
way
up
to
lieutenant
general
.
I
’
ll
bet
that
promotion
was
intended
for
me
and
they
gave
it
to
him
by
mistake
.
"
Colonel
Cargill
had
been
rubbing
his
sturdy
chin
reflectively
.
"
Why
is
he
giving
orders
to
us
?
"
General
Peckem
’
s
sleek
,
scrubbed
,
distinguished
face
tightened
.
"
Yes
,
Sergeant
,
"
he
said
slowly
with
an
uncomprehending
frown
.
"
Why
is
he
issuing
orders
to
us
if
he
’
s
still
in
Special
Services
and
we
’
re
in
combat
operations
?
"
"
That
’
s
another
change
that
was
made
this
morning
,
sir
.
All
combat
operations
are
now
under
the
jurisdiction
of
Special
Services
.
General
Scheisskopf
is
our
new
commanding
officer
.
"
General
Peckem
let
out
a
sharp
cry
.
"
Oh
,
my
God
!
"
he
wailed
,
and
all
his
practical
composure
went
up
in
hysteria
.
"
Scheisskopf
in
charge
?
Scheisskopf
?
"
He
pressed
his
fists
down
on
his
eyes
with
horror
.
"
Cargill
,
get
me
Wintergreen
!
Scheisskopf
?
Not
Scheisskopf
!
"
All
phones
began
ringing
at
once
.
A
corporal
ran
in
and
saluted
.
"
Sir
,
there
’
s
a
chaplain
outside
to
see
you
with
news
of
an
injustice
in
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
squadron
.
"
"
Send
him
away
,
send
him
away
!
We
’
ve
got
enough
injustices
of
our
own
.
Where
’
s
Wintergreen
?
"
"
Sir
,
General
Scheisskopf
is
on
the
phone
.
He
wants
to
speak
to
you
at
once
.
"
"
Tell
him
I
haven
’
t
arrived
yet
.
Good
Lord
!
"
General
Peckem
screamed
,
as
though
struck
by
the
enormity
of
the
disaster
for
the
first
time
.
"
Scheisskopf
?
The
man
’
s
a
moron
!
I
walked
all
over
that
blockhead
,
and
now
he
’
s
my
superior
officer
.
Oh
,
my
Lord
!
Cargill
!
Cargill
,
don
’
t
desert
me
!
Where
’
s
Wintergreen
?
"
"
Sir
,
I
have
an
ex
-
Sergeant
Wintergreen
on
your
other
telephone
.
He
’
s
been
trying
to
reach
you
all
morning
.
"
"
General
,
I
can
’
t
get
Wintergreen
,
"
Colonel
Cargill
shouted
,
"
His
line
is
busy
.
"
General
Peckem
was
perspiring
freely
as
he
lunged
for
the
other
telephone
"
Wintergreen
!
"
