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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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"
Shhhh
!
"
Colonel
Cathcart
cautioned
.
"
Goddammit
,
Korn
,
what
did
you
do
to
my
back
?
"
Colonel
Korn
snickered
again
.
General
Dreedle
’
s
nurse
always
followed
General
Dreedle
everywhere
he
went
,
even
into
the
briefing
room
just
before
the
mission
to
Avignon
,
where
she
stood
with
her
asinine
smile
at
the
side
of
the
platform
and
bloomed
like
a
fertile
oasis
at
General
Dreedle
’
s
shoulder
in
her
pink
-
and
-
green
uniform
.
Yossarian
looked
at
her
and
fell
in
love
,
desperately
.
His
spirits
sank
,
leaving
him
empty
inside
and
numb
.
He
sat
gazing
in
clammy
want
at
her
full
red
lips
and
dimpled
cheeks
as
he
listened
to
Major
Danby
describe
in
a
monotonous
,
didactic
male
drone
the
heavy
concentrations
of
flak
awaiting
them
at
Avignon
,
and
he
moaned
in
deep
despair
suddenly
at
the
thought
that
he
might
never
see
again
this
lovely
woman
to
whom
he
had
never
spoken
a
word
and
whom
he
now
loved
so
pathetically
.
He
throbbed
and
ached
with
sorrow
,
fear
and
desire
as
he
stared
at
her
;
she
was
so
beautiful
.
He
worshiped
the
ground
she
stood
on
.
He
licked
his
parched
,
thirsting
lips
with
a
sticky
tongue
and
moaned
in
misery
again
,
loudly
enough
this
time
to
attract
the
startled
,
searching
glances
of
the
men
sitting
around
him
on
the
rows
of
crude
wooden
benches
in
their
chocolate
-
colored
coveralls
and
stitched
white
parachute
harnesses
.
Nately
turned
to
him
quickly
with
alarm
.
"
What
is
it
?
"
he
whispered
.
"
What
’
s
the
matter
?
"
Yossarian
did
not
hear
him
.
He
was
sick
with
lust
and
mesmerized
with
regret
.
General
Dreedle
’
s
nurse
was
only
a
little
chubby
,
and
his
senses
were
stuffed
to
congestion
with
the
yellow
radiance
of
her
hair
and
the
unfelt
pressure
of
her
soft
short
fingers
,
with
the
rounded
,
untasted
wealth
of
her
nubile
breasts
in
her
Army
-
pink
shirt
that
was
opened
wide
at
the
throat
and
with
the
rolling
,
ripened
,
triangular
confluences
of
her
belly
and
thighs
in
her
tight
,
slick
forest
-
green
gabardine
officer
’
s
pants
.
He
drank
her
in
insatiably
from
head
to
painted
toenail
.
He
never
wanted
to
lose
her
.
"
Oooooooooooooh
,
"
he
moaned
again
,
and
this
time
the
whole
room
rippled
at
his
quavering
,
drawn
-
out
cry
.
A
wave
of
startled
uneasiness
broke
over
the
officers
on
the
dais
,
and
even
Major
Danby
,
who
had
begun
synchronizing
the
watches
,
was
distracted
momentarily
as
he
counted
out
the
seconds
and
almost
had
to
begin
again
.
Nately
followed
Yossarian
’
s
transfixed
gaze
down
the
long
frame
auditorium
until
he
came
to
General
Dreedle
’
s
nurse
.
He
blanched
with
trepidation
when
he
guessed
what
was
troubling
Yossarian
.
"
Cut
it
out
,
will
you
?
"
Nately
warned
in
a
fierce
whisper
.
"
Ooooooooooooooooooooh
,
"
Yossarian
moaned
a
fourth
time
,
this
time
loudly
enough
for
everyone
to
hear
him
distinctly
.
"
Are
you
crazy
?
"
Nately
hissed
vehemently
.
"
You
’
ll
get
into
trouble
.
"
"
Ooooooooooooooooooooh
,
"
Dunbar
answered
Yossarian
from
the
opposite
end
of
the
room
.
Nately
recognized
Dunbar
’
s
voice
.
The
situation
was
now
out
of
control
,
and
he
turned
away
with
a
small
moan
.
"
Ooh
.
"
"
Ooooooooooooooooooooh
,
"
Dunbar
moaned
back
at
him
.
