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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 122/452
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Corporal
Kolodny
learned
about
it
first
in
a
phone
call
from
Group
and
was
so
shaken
by
the
news
that
he
crossed
the
intelligence
tent
on
tiptoe
to
Captain
Black
,
who
was
resting
drowsily
with
his
bladed
shins
up
on
the
desk
,
and
relayed
the
information
to
him
in
a
shocked
whisper
.
Captain
Black
brightened
immediately
.
"
Bologna
?
"
he
exclaimed
with
delight
.
"
Well
,
I
’
ll
be
damned
.
"
He
broke
into
loud
laughter
.
"
Bologna
,
huh
?
"
He
laughed
again
and
shook
his
head
in
pleasant
amazement
.
"
Oh
,
boy
!
I
can
’
t
wait
to
see
those
bastards
’
faces
when
they
find
out
they
’
re
going
to
Bologna
.
Ha
,
ha
ha
!
"
It
was
the
first
really
good
laugh
Captain
Black
had
enjoyed
since
the
day
Major
Major
outsmarted
him
and
was
appointed
squadron
commander
,
and
he
rose
with
torpid
enthusiasm
and
stationed
himself
behind
the
front
counter
in
order
to
wring
the
most
enjoyment
from
the
occasion
when
the
bombardiers
arrived
for
their
map
kits
.
"
That
’
s
right
,
you
bastards
,
Bologna
,
"
he
kept
repeating
to
all
the
bombardiers
who
inquired
incredulously
if
they
were
really
going
to
Bologna
.
"
Ha
!
Ha
!
Ha
!
Eat
your
livers
,
you
bastards
.
This
time
you
’
re
really
in
for
it
.
"
Captain
Black
followed
the
last
of
them
outside
to
observe
with
relish
the
effect
of
the
knowledge
upon
all
of
the
other
officers
and
enlisted
men
who
were
assembling
with
their
helmets
,
parachutes
and
flak
suits
around
the
four
trucks
idling
in
the
center
of
the
squadron
area
.
He
was
a
tall
,
narrow
,
disconsolate
man
who
moved
with
a
crabby
listlessness
.
He
shaved
his
pinched
,
pale
face
every
third
or
fourth
day
,
and
most
of
the
time
he
appeared
to
be
growing
a
reddish
-
gold
mustache
over
his
skinny
upper
lip
.
He
was
not
disappointed
in
the
scene
outside
.
There
was
consternation
darkening
every
expression
,
and
Captain
Black
yawned
deliciously
,
rubbed
the
last
lethargy
from
his
eyes
and
laughed
gloatingly
each
time
he
told
someone
else
to
eat
his
liver
.
Bologna
turned
out
to
be
the
most
rewarding
event
in
Captain
Black
’
s
life
since
the
day
Major
Duluth
was
killed
over
Perugia
and
he
was
almost
selected
to
replace
him
.
When
word
of
Major
Duluth
’
s
death
was
radioed
back
to
the
field
,
Captain
Black
responded
with
a
surge
of
joy
.
Although
he
had
never
really
contemplated
the
possibility
before
,
Captain
Black
understood
at
once
that
he
was
the
logical
man
to
succeed
Major
Duluth
as
squadron
commander
.
To
begin
with
,
he
was
the
squadron
intelligence
officer
,
which
meant
he
was
more
intelligent
than
everyone
else
in
the
squadron
.
True
,
he
was
not
on
combat
status
,
as
Major
Duluth
had
been
and
as
all
squadron
commanders
customarily
were
;
but
this
was
really
another
powerful
argument
in
his
favor
,
since
his
life
was
in
no
danger
and
he
would
be
able
to
fill
the
post
for
as
long
as
his
country
needed
him
.
The
more
Captain
Black
thought
about
it
,
the
more
inevitable
it
seemed
.
It
was
merely
a
matter
of
dropping
the
right
word
in
the
right
place
quickly
.
He
hurried
back
to
his
office
to
determine
a
course
of
action
.
Settling
back
in
his
swivel
chair
,
his
feet
up
on
the
desk
and
his
eyes
closed
,
he
began
imagining
how
beautiful
everything
would
be
once
he
was
squadron
commander
.
While
Captain
Black
was
imagining
,
Colonel
Cathcart
was
acting
,
and
Captain
Black
was
flabbergasted
by
the
speed
with
which
,
he
concluded
,
Major
Major
had
outsmarted
him
.
His
great
dismay
at
the
announcement
of
Major
Major
’
s
appointment
as
squadron
commander
was
tinged
with
an
embittered
resentment
he
made
no
effort
to
conceal
.
When
fellow
administrative
officers
expressed
astonishment
at
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
choice
of
Major
Major
,
Captain
Black
muttered
that
there
was
something
funny
going
on
;
when
they
speculated
on
the
political
value
of
Major
Major
’
s
resemblance
to
Henry
Fonda
,
Captain
Black
asserted
that
Major
Major
really
was
Henry
Fonda
;
and
when
they
remarked
that
Major
Major
was
somewhat
odd
,
Captain
Black
announced
that
he
was
a
Communist
.
"
They
’
re
taking
over
everything
,
"
he
declared
rebelliously
.
"
Well
,
you
fellows
can
stand
around
and
let
them
if
you
want
to
,
but
I
’
m
not
going
to
.
I
’
m
going
to
do
something
about
it
.
From
now
on
I
’
m
going
to
make
every
son
of
a
bitch
who
comes
to
my
intelligence
tent
sign
a
loyalty
oath
.
And
I
’
m
not
going
to
let
that
bastard
Major
Major
sign
one
even
if
he
wants
to
.
"
