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It
was
not
that
he
was
in
danger
of
legal
punishment
or
of
beggary
:
he
was
in
danger
only
of
seeing
disclosed
to
the
judgment
of
his
neighbors
and
the
mournful
perception
of
his
wife
certain
facts
of
his
past
life
which
would
render
him
an
object
of
scorn
and
an
opprobrium
of
the
religion
with
which
he
had
diligently
associated
himself
.
The
terror
of
being
judged
sharpens
the
memory
:
it
sends
an
inevitable
glare
over
that
long
-
unvisited
past
which
has
been
habitually
recalled
only
in
general
phrases
.
Even
without
memory
,
the
life
is
bound
into
one
by
a
zone
of
dependence
in
growth
and
decay
;
but
intense
memory
forces
a
man
to
own
his
blameworthy
past
.
With
memory
set
smarting
like
a
reopened
wound
,
a
man
’
s
past
is
not
simply
a
dead
history
,
an
outworn
preparation
of
the
present
:
it
is
not
a
repented
error
shaken
loose
from
the
life
:
it
is
a
still
quivering
part
of
himself
,
bringing
shudders
and
bitter
flavors
and
the
tinglings
of
a
merited
shame
.
Into
this
second
life
Bulstrode
’
s
past
had
now
risen
,
only
the
pleasures
of
it
seeming
to
have
lost
their
quality
.
Night
and
day
,
without
interruption
save
of
brief
sleep
which
only
wove
retrospect
and
fear
into
a
fantastic
present
,
he
felt
the
scenes
of
his
earlier
life
coming
between
him
and
everything
else
,
as
obstinately
as
when
we
look
through
the
window
from
a
lighted
room
,
the
objects
we
turn
our
backs
on
are
still
before
us
,
instead
of
the
grass
and
the
trees
The
successive
events
inward
and
outward
were
there
in
one
view
:
though
each
might
be
dwelt
on
in
turn
,
the
rest
still
kept
their
hold
in
the
consciousness
.
Once
more
he
saw
himself
the
young
banker
’
s
clerk
,
with
an
agreeable
person
,
as
clever
in
figures
as
he
was
fluent
in
speech
and
fond
of
theological
definition
:
an
eminent
though
young
member
of
a
Calvinistic
dissenting
church
at
Highbury
,
having
had
striking
experience
in
conviction
of
sin
and
sense
of
pardon
.
Again
he
heard
himself
called
for
as
Brother
Bulstrode
in
prayer
meetings
,
speaking
on
religious
platforms
,
preaching
in
private
houses
.
Again
he
felt
himself
thinking
of
the
ministry
as
possibly
his
vocation
,
and
inclined
towards
missionary
labor
.
That
was
the
happiest
time
of
his
life
:
that
was
the
spot
he
would
have
chosen
now
to
awake
in
and
find
the
rest
a
dream
.
The
people
among
whom
Brother
Bulstrode
was
distinguished
were
very
few
,
but
they
were
very
near
to
him
,
and
stirred
his
satisfaction
the
more
;
his
power
stretched
through
a
narrow
space
,
but
he
felt
its
effect
the
more
intensely
.
He
believed
without
effort
in
the
peculiar
work
of
grace
within
him
,
and
in
the
signs
that
God
intended
him
for
special
instrumentality
.
Then
came
the
moment
of
transition
;
it
was
with
the
sense
of
promotion
he
had
when
he
,
an
orphan
educated
at
a
commercial
charity
-
school
,
was
invited
to
a
fine
villa
belonging
to
Mr
.
Dunkirk
,
the
richest
man
in
the
congregation
.
Soon
he
became
an
intimate
there
,
honored
for
his
piety
by
the
wife
,
marked
out
for
his
ability
by
the
husband
,
whose
wealth
was
due
to
a
flourishing
city
and
west
-
end
trade
.
That
was
the
setting
-
in
of
a
new
current
for
his
ambition
,
directing
his
prospects
of
"
instrumentality
"
towards
the
uniting
of
distinguished
religious
gifts
with
successful
business
.
By
-
and
-
by
came
a
decided
external
leading
:
a
confidential
subordinate
partner
died
,
and
nobody
seemed
to
the
principal
so
well
fitted
to
fill
the
severely
felt
vacancy
as
his
young
friend
Bulstrode
,
if
he
would
become
confidential
accountant
.
The
offer
was
accepted
.
The
business
was
a
pawnbroker
’
s
,
of
the
most
magnificent
sort
both
in
extent
and
profits
;
and
on
a
short
acquaintance
with
it
Bulstrode
became
aware
that
one
source
of
magnificent
profit
was
the
easy
reception
of
any
goods
offered
,
without
strict
inquiry
as
to
where
they
came
from
.
But
there
was
a
branch
house
at
the
west
end
,
and
no
pettiness
or
dinginess
to
give
suggestions
of
shame
.
He
remembered
his
first
moments
of
shrinking
.
They
were
private
,
and
were
filled
with
arguments
;
some
of
these
taking
the
form
of
prayer
.
The
business
was
established
and
had
old
roots
;
is
it
not
one
thing
to
set
up
a
new
gin
-
palace
and
another
to
accept
an
investment
in
an
old
one
?
The
profits
made
out
of
lost
souls
—
where
can
the
line
be
drawn
at
which
they
begin
in
human
transactions
?
Was
it
not
even
God
’
s
way
of
saving
His
chosen
?
"
Thou
knowest
,
"
—
the
young
Bulstrode
had
said
then
,
as
the
older
Bulstrode
was
saying
now
—
"
Thou
knowest
how
loose
my
soul
sits
from
these
things
—
how
I
view
them
all
as
implements
for
tilling
Thy
garden
rescued
here
and
there
from
the
wilderness
.
"
Metaphors
and
precedents
were
not
wanting
;
peculiar
spiritual
experiences
were
not
wanting
which
at
last
made
the
retention
of
his
position
seem
a
service
demanded
of
him
:
the
vista
of
a
fortune
had
already
opened
itself
,
and
Bulstrode
’
s
shrinking
remained
private
.
Mr
.
Dunkirk
had
never
expected
that
there
would
be
any
shrinking
at
all
:
he
had
never
conceived
that
trade
had
anything
to
do
with
the
scheme
of
salvation
.
