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- Джон Уиндем
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I
wished
them
well
at
Tynsham
.
Then
I
let
in
the
clutch
and
splashed
away
down
the
muddy
drive
.
The
morning
was
infected
with
minor
mishaps
.
First
it
was
water
in
the
carburetor
.
Then
I
contrived
to
travel
a
dozen
miles
north
under
the
impression
I
was
going
east
,
and
before
I
had
that
fully
rectified
I
was
in
trouble
with
the
ignition
system
on
a
bleak
upland
road
miles
from
anywhere
.
Either
these
delays
or
a
natural
reaction
did
a
lot
to
spoil
the
hopeful
mood
in
which
I
had
started
.
By
the
time
I
had
the
trouble
straightened
out
,
it
was
one
o
’
clock
and
the
day
bad
cleared
"
p
.
The
sun
came
out
.
Everything
looked
bright
and
refreshed
,
but
even
that
,
and
the
fact
that
for
the
next
twenty
miles
everything
went
smoothly
,
did
not
shift
the
mood
of
depression
that
was
closing
over
me
again
.
Now
I
was
really
on
my
own
,
I
could
not
shut
out
the
sense
of
loneliness
.
It
came
upon
me
as
it
bad
on
that
day
when
we
bad
split
up
to
search
for
Michael
Beadley
—
only
with
double
the
force
.
.
.
Until
then
I
had
always
thought
of
loneliness
as
something
negative
—
an
absence
of
company
,
and
,
of
course
,
something
temporary
.
.
.
.
That
day
I
had
learned
that
it
was
much
more
.
It
was
something
which
could
press
and
oppress
,
could
distort
the
ordinary
and
play
tricks
with
the
mind
.
Something
which
lurked
inimically
nil
around
,
stretching
the
nerves
and
twang
-
big
them
with
alarms
,
never
letting
one
forget
that
there
was
no
one
to
help
,
no
one
to
care
.
It
showed
one
as
an
atom
adrift
in
vastness
,
and
it
waited
all
the
time
its
chance
to
frighten
and
frighten
horribly
—
that
was
what
loneliness
was
really
trying
to
do
;
and
that
was
what
one
must
never
let
it
do
.
.
To
deprive
a
gregarious
creature
of
companionship
is
to
maim
it
,
to
outrage
its
nature
.
The
prisoner
and
the
cenobite
are
aware
that
the
herd
exists
beyond
their
exile
;
they
are
an
aspect
of
it
.
But
when
the
herd
no
longer
exists
,
there
is
,
for
the
herd
creature
,
no
longer
entity
.
He
is
a
part
of
no
whole
,
a
freak
without
a
place
.
If
he
cannot
hold
onto
his
reason
,
then
he
is
lost
indeed
:
most
utterly
and
most
fearfully
lost
,
so
that
he
becomes
no
more
than
the
twitch
in
the
limb
of
a
corpse
.
It
needed
far
more
resistance
now
than
it
had
before
.
Only
the
strength
of
my
hope
that
I
would
find
companionship
at
my
journey
’
s
end
kept
me
from
turning
hack
to
find
relief
from
the
strain
in
the
presence
of
Coker
and
the
others
.
The
sights
which
I
saw
by
the
way
had
little
or
nothing
to
do
with
it
.
Horrible
though
some
of
them
were
,
I
was
hardened
to
such
things
by
now
.
The
honor
had
left
them
,
just
as
the
honor
which
broods
over
great
battlefields
fades
into
history
.
Nor
did
I
any
longer
see
these
things
as
part
of
a
vast
,
impressive
tragedy
.
My
struggle
was
all
a
personal
conflict
with
the
instincts
of
my
kind
.
A
continual
defensive
action
,
with
no
victory
possible
.
I
knew
in
my
very
heart
that
I
would
not
be
able
to
sustain
myself
for
long
alone
.
To
give
myself
occupation
I
drove
faster
than
I
should
.
In
some
small
town
with
a
forgotten
name
I
rounded
a
corner
and
ran
straight
into
a
van
which
blocked
the
whole
street
.
Luckily
my
own
tough
truck
suffered
no
more
than
scratches
,
but
two
vehicles
managed
to
hitch
themselves
together
with
diabolical
ingenuity
,
so
that
it
was
an
awkward
business
singlehanded
,
and
in
a
confined
space
,
to
separate
them
.
It
was
a
problem
which
took
me
a
full
hour
to
solve
,
and
did
me
good
by
turning
my
mind
to
practical
matters
.
Alter
that
I
kept
to
a
more
cautious
pace
,
except
for
a
few
minutes
soon
after
I
entered
the
New
Forest
.
The
cause
of
that
was
a
glimpse
through
the
trees
of
a
helicopter
cruising
at
no
great
height
.
It
was
set
to
cross
my
course
some
way
ahead
.
By
ill
luck
the
trees
there
grew
close
to
the
side
of
the
road
,
and
must
have
hidden
it
almost
completely
from
the
air
.
I
put
on
a
spurt
,
but
by
the
time
I
reached
more
open
ground
the
machine
was
no
more
than
a
speck
floating
away
in
the
distance
to
the
north
.
Nevertheless
,
even
the
sight
of
it
seemed
to
give
me
some
support
.
