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"
Then
redeposit
the
money
.
"
"
You
think
it
’
s
worth
the
risk
?
"
"
Well
—
everything
’
s
a
risk
,
Ethan
.
It
’
s
a
risk
to
carry
that
much
money
around
.
"
"
I
’
ll
take
care
of
that
.
"
"
I
wish
I
didn
’
t
have
to
be
out
of
town
.
"
What
I
said
about
timing
still
held
.
In
all
that
time
nobody
came
into
the
store
,
but
half
a
dozen
came
in
now
—
three
women
,
an
old
man
,
and
two
kids
.
Mr
.
Baker
moved
close
and
spoke
softly
.
"
I
’
ll
make
it
in
hundred
-
dollar
bills
and
note
the
numbers
.
Then
if
they
catch
him
you
can
get
it
back
.
"
He
nodded
gravely
to
the
three
women
,
said
,
"
Good
morning
,
George
,
"
to
the
old
man
,
and
roughed
his
fingers
through
the
kids
’
coarse
hair
.
Mr
.
Baker
is
a
very
clever
man
.
July
first
.
It
parts
the
year
like
the
part
in
a
head
of
hair
.
I
had
foreseen
it
as
a
boundary
marker
for
me
—
yesterday
one
kind
of
me
,
tomorrow
a
different
kind
.
I
had
made
my
moves
that
could
not
be
recalled
.
Time
and
incidents
had
played
along
,
had
seemed
to
collaborate
with
me
.
I
did
not
ever
draw
virtue
down
to
hide
what
I
was
doing
from
myself
.
No
one
made
me
take
the
course
I
had
chosen
.
Temporarily
I
traded
a
habit
of
conduct
and
attitude
for
comfort
and
dignity
and
a
cushion
of
security
.
It
would
be
too
easy
to
agree
that
I
did
it
for
my
family
because
I
knew
that
in
their
comfort
and
security
I
would
find
my
dignity
.
But
my
objective
was
limited
and
,
once
achieved
,
I
could
take
back
my
habit
of
conduct
.
I
knew
I
could
.
War
did
not
make
a
killer
of
me
,
although
for
a
time
I
killed
men
.
Sending
out
patrols
,
knowing
some
of
the
men
would
die
,
aroused
no
joy
in
sacrifice
in
me
as
it
did
in
some
,
and
I
could
never
joy
in
what
I
had
done
,
nor
excuse
or
condone
it
.
The
main
thing
was
to
know
the
limited
objective
for
what
it
was
,
and
,
once
it
was
achieved
,
to
stop
the
process
in
its
tracks
.
But
that
could
only
be
if
I
knew
what
I
was
doing
and
did
not
fool
myself
—
security
and
dignity
,
and
then
stop
the
process
in
its
tracks
.
I
knew
from
combat
that
casualties
are
the
victims
of
a
process
,
not
of
anger
nor
of
hate
or
cruelty
.
And
I
believe
that
in
the
moment
of
acceptance
,
between
winner
and
loser
,
between
killer
and
killed
,
there
is
love
.
But
Danny
’
s
scribbled
papers
hurt
like
a
sorrow
,
and
Marullo
’
s
grateful
eyes
.
I
had
not
lain
awake
as
men
are
said
to
do
on
the
eve
of
battle
.
Sleep
came
quickly
,
heavily
,
completely
,
and
released
me
just
as
freely
in
the
predawn
,
refreshed
.
I
did
not
lie
in
the
darkness
as
usual
.
My
urge
was
to
visit
my
life
as
it
had
been
.
I
slipped
quietly
from
bed
,
dressed
in
the
bathroom
,
and
went
down
the
stairs
,
walking
near
to
the
wall
.
It
did
surprise
me
when
I
went
to
the
cabinet
,
unlocked
it
,
and
recognized
the
rosy
mound
by
touch
.
I
put
it
in
my
pocket
and
closed
and
locked
the
cabinet
.
In
my
whole
life
I
had
never
carried
it
away
and
I
had
not
known
I
would
do
it
this
morning
.
Memory
directed
me
through
the
dark
kitchen
and
out
the
back
door
into
the
graying
yard
.
The
arching
elms
were
fat
with
leaves
,
a
true
black
cave
.
If
I
had
then
had
Marullo
’
s
Pontiac
I
would
have
driven
out
of
New
Baytown
to
the
awakening
world
of
my
first
memory
.
My
finger
traced
the
endless
sinuous
design
on
the
flesh
-
warm
talisman
in
my
pocket
—
talisman
?
